Today, I found the perfect opportunity to throw my husband a surprise party since he thought I was away on a business trip. He came home with a hooker. Surprise! FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my husband planned a surprise party. He would pretend to forget my birthday, I'd leave in a rage and go to my best friend's house, where the surprise party would be. It would have been a great plan had I gone to her house and not my side dick's apartment. Now I'm totally fucked. FML
Today, I decided to surprise my husband by bringing home a case of beer and renting us a porno. He decided to surprise me by telling me he was leaving me for his pregnant girlfriend. FML
Today, I threw myself a surprise party. FML
Today, I just found my husband on Craigslist. He's working away from home, and he's looking to give a blowjob. FML
Today, after spending a week defending my marriage to everyone, I found out my husband has an addiction I never knew about. Hookers. FML
Today, my wife told me she had a surprise for me when I came home. Surprise to me means sex, not a new puppy. FML
Today, it was my girlfriend's birthday. To surprise her, I told her that I was going away on business, and could not be there on her birthday. When I show up at her house to surprise her with a present and cake, she opens the door in her underwear, beside a man in his boxers. She was surprised. FML
Today, I ran into my husband and his mistress. He was picking her up at the airport. I was catching a flight to a conference with my boss. He had flowers for her, and his arm around her. My boss knows my husband as well. FML
Today, I caught my soon to be husband screwing our wedding planner. FML
Today, I found out the girl my husband's been calling "Sister" isn't actually his sister, but instead a hooker whose work name is "Sister". FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
MCRaddict15 15
What a douche. He was more than lucky to have someone as compassionate as you. Oh well, his loss.
dude1122332 9
I think you have another surprise for him right? Like some papers..
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (168)
thatnucca 36
Enough with the paper talk and name calling... She said it herself that she's always on one business trip or another... So much so, her husband felt lonely enough to seek the company of a call girl... Hey, he didn't want to be alone on his birthday while she was away again... Who knows, this might have happened before... You can be a career oriented woman, but you can not neglect your husband enough for him to decide to do what he did... I'm not saying it's right, but it could have been someone he was actually seeing and having a relationship with... Both of you are to be blamed here really... Most married men will acknowledge their wives presence even when they're not around... For him to bring a prostitute home, just proves that you're gone too often and your entire presence in the house has diminished very badly... Talk it out and seek help if necessary...
Fmlsea 28
It did not say that she was always away on a business trip , it said that he thought she was on a business trip .
DjeePee 25
It could write a long post about all the stupidity in Thatnucca's comment, but I'm going to make it easy for myself: Roflol.
DracoSpirita 21
Wth is wrong with you?
sophie22_fml 8
Actually, if she found the time to throw her husband a party, I highly doubt she neglects him that much. Also there's no excuse for her husband to to be unfaithful, there's talking and there's divorce if he doesn't like how his marriage is doing he can choose one of those.
mrsVoltzie57 12
I am not usually one to do the "divorce his ass" to the relationship ones but honestly this ass deserves it. My dad did the same type of thing to my mom over 3 times but it was while he was away on business. And she got a nasty suprise down the road from it if you know what i mean... Leave him and you'll be better off!!
183933 6
Dude was too cheap to go to a hotel?
princessAj1 6
At least it's wasn't and ex-girlfriend or something. But still sucks.
Dracoboxer357 36
14- Do tell, Noor. *Has a seat and patiently waits for a William Shatner TV cop series reference from the late 80's....*
aksel1218 13
That douche hunny send him the papers
carmel1110 12
Hopefully your ex-hausband now?
chicagoguy 2
Love your title ;)
ebonyirony 29
Immediately thought of tj hooker so I waited for someone else to, thanks.
pappuyarr 1
How is it a fml? U always need a hooker in the party! No?