Today, I was watching a movie alone with my girlfriend. She shifted positions as I put my arm around her, and ended up kneeing me in the crotch and shouldering me in the throat simultaneously. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I went to the movies with my girlfriend. As I started putting my arm around her, I hit her in the face. FML
Today, my girlfriend snuck up behind me to cover my eyes and play "guess who." The second her hands touched my face, I grabbed her, twisted her wrists, and kneed her to the floor out of instinct. FML
Today, I asked a girl out and made plans to go see a movie. About 5 minutes in, I made a move to put my arm around her and smashed her in the face. FML
Today, my girlfriend and I were at the movies. When the "love scene" came on, she leaned over and made out with the wrong man. FML
Today, my girlfriend and I took a nap on my couch. She used my arm as a pillow, and everything was pretty peaceful, until she moved over and practically dislocated my shoulder. My screams of pain woke her, which was apparently an "asshole move" on my part. FML
Today, while my girlfriend and I were making out, she went to fix the pillow behind her head and punched me straight in the face. FML
Today, I was watching a horror movie with my girlfriend. Suddenly, the killer jumped on screen. My girlfriend screamed. I pissed myself. FML
Today, I was on a date with this girl. I attempted to put my arm around her, but I elbowed her in the face instead. FML
Today, I was going on a date with my girlfriend. When I took her home, her sister came to the door. I used to date her sister and I didn't know they were related. My girlfriend realized this, then kicked me in the crotch. FML
Today, I asked a girl I like to the movies. Wanting her to lean on me and stay in my arms during the movie, I chose a horror film. I screamed like a pussy the whole time. FML
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Top comments
Dracoboxer357 36
Well, did she kiss them better at least? ;P Double owned, sorry Op. :p
perdix 31
It was no accident. She probably just read "Fifty Shades of Grey" and decided to jazz things up with that S&M shit.
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Comments (72)
Dracoboxer357 36
Well, did she kiss them better at least? ;P Double owned, sorry Op. :p
chillyCholo 5
I think he deserves a little better than kissed at this point..
chillyCholo 5
Not necessarily immediately after it happens, good point though
ebonyirony 29
Noor I hurt all over!!
Dracoboxer357 36
18- *Passes you the vacuum cleaner* Feel better soon! ;P
Slender_Man 6
I think OP will like when his gf kisses his other area of pain after his elbow.
sens3sfailing 25
What? Nobody got their elbow hurt...it was his crotch and throat... Please read the FML before you comment.
Slender_Man 6
Shit. For some reason I can't read properly when I'm tired
andrew6p 19
Nice one 5... Sucking on the painful spots would have been so much better than a just a kiss
Danny0522 8
^Thank you, because we're all so stupid that you feel the need to explain Noor's comment to us. Very helpful.
andrew6p 19
67, whats wrong with you?
JayChuckles 4
Well, you could have her kiss it better?
domking1315 20
So close...
nahgemoohc 17
Are you sure you didn't crotch her knee?;)
cr3ativity 15
2 hit combo? LAME. But since she did hit your throat, props to her mad aim.
missababgaga 19
I can actually picture this happening! Hopefully it didn't happen really really hard! Sorry OP!
Drigr 9
Being a male... I promise you, no matter how "gentle" you get elbowed in the nuts, it hurts like hell.
cajekraze 7
Sorry to OP, but this kinda stuff happens a lot. Give her a little playful revenge, afterall she didn't mean to do it. A tickle, a bite, a smart remark, whatever your style is
cawoods 1
Now you know that you don't have to worry about children.
elephantom12 9
I'm sure a knee to the balls didn't shatter his testicles making him unable to reproduce. Every guy has probably experienced a blow to the balls that left him on the ground withering in pain for 5 minutes.
perdix 31
It was no accident. She probably just read "Fifty Shades of Grey" and decided to jazz things up with that S&M shit.
xxDefiantxx 0
S&M :D Just remember Perdix you're the one who asked ;)
thatKidzmOm 10
Better think of a safe word!
JoeRogansBEARD 15
Oklahoma is the safe word
btstig 11
After the show she was awarded knock out of the night!
annie_nk 23
Aw. If I was OP's girlfriend, I'd be apologizing a lot and offering to kiss it better.
ImmaB3AST 7
C-C-COMBOBREAKER!
cheekyterier 13
ask her to kiss it better.