Today, I found the perfect opportunity to throw my husband a surprise party since he thought I was away on a business trip. He came home with a hooker. Surprise! FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my husband planned a surprise party. He would pretend to forget my birthday, I'd leave in a rage and go to my best friend's house, where the surprise party would be. It would have been a great plan had I gone to her house and not my side dick's apartment. Now I'm totally fucked. FML
Today, I decided to surprise my husband by bringing home a case of beer and renting us a porno. He decided to surprise me by telling me he was leaving me for his pregnant girlfriend. FML
Today, I threw myself a surprise party. FML
Today, I just found my husband on Craigslist. He's working away from home, and he's looking to give a blowjob. FML
Today, after spending a week defending my marriage to everyone, I found out my husband has an addiction I never knew about. Hookers. FML
Today, my wife told me she had a surprise for me when I came home. Surprise to me means sex, not a new puppy. FML
Today, it was my girlfriend's birthday. To surprise her, I told her that I was going away on business, and could not be there on her birthday. When I show up at her house to surprise her with a present and cake, she opens the door in her underwear, beside a man in his boxers. She was surprised. FML
Today, I ran into my husband and his mistress. He was picking her up at the airport. I was catching a flight to a conference with my boss. He had flowers for her, and his arm around her. My boss knows my husband as well. FML
Today, I caught my soon to be husband screwing our wedding planner. FML
Today, I found out the girl my husband's been calling "Sister" isn't actually his sister, but instead a hooker whose work name is "Sister". FML
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Top comments
MCRaddict15 15
What a douche. He was more than lucky to have someone as compassionate as you. Oh well, his loss.
dude1122332 9
I think you have another surprise for him right? Like some papers..
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Comments (168)
alexh15 13
End of party I'm assuming...
nachiketin 11
Off topic: your Display pic is hilarious. Anyhow OP as other said, time to surprise him once and for all.
yomamaOo 2
Maybe shes a friend who wanted to come to the party?
ohSNAPyall 27
More like, come AT the party! Hey-yo!
pcentral 17
Wow that sucks OP. I hope you found out before everyone was gathered around for the party.
DocBastard 40
The surprise was actually on you - The hooker gives half price ******** on her clients' birthdays, so you saved him $20!
perdix 31
You must visit the high-class gals, Doc. Around here, that policy would save me $1.99-1/2. Do yours have all their teeth? Must be nice ;)
ebonyirony 29
No teeth feels awesome! It's why I always visit the geriatric ward.
perdix 31
#65. True, true. With teeth, it's an all-or-nothing proposition. Having some teeth makes for a grating experience (and I did not misspell "great").
Enslaved 38
Wondering if one of your other party guest ended up taking her back home?
pinkpixie06 11
It could have been worse...there could have been two hookers.
perdix 31
Or even worse, four hookers, one of whom ***** on your floor!
stewpididiot 11
....Or if the hookers were dudes !!
perdix 31
You must have been *****-ified!
mrsquiggles6900 5
Haha. You made me giggle
LaughterofCorn 4
And now's the perfect time to give him your special present: divorce papers!
nevershoutkendal_fml 11
I don't think that's immediate grounds for divorce. I'd understand being mad and hurt, but people need to learn how to talk things out and find solutions. Maybe the divorce rate wouldn't be so high.
Fmlsea 28
Are you for real or are you smoking crack? so she should forgive him for cheating and embarrassing her in front of everyone all because that douche couldn't keep his dick in his pants . He's a married man he should not be cheating if he wanted to sleep with ****** then he should of stayed single ! that is perfectly good grounds for a divorce .
DjeePee 25
Maybe the divorce rate wouldn't be so high if married people didn't bring hookers to their homes.
mrsquiggles6900 5
60- could you possible be that stupid? He cheated on his WIFE with a HOOKER.. Tell me.. Would you ever stay with your husband if he cheated on you with a hooker? I don't think you would, but if you would stay with him, your just giving them more reason to keep thinking its okay to **** around on you. Gosh. Maybe the dicorce rate wouldn't be so ******* high it people didnt cheat all the ******* time.
Laurenlou 24
60- I totally agree with you. It would really damage the trust in a marriage but trying to work it out is worth it. If they absolutely cannot come to terms on him cheating, maybe then divorce would be an option. A marriage is a life long commitment and humans make terrible mistakes sometimes. Learning and forgiving from this situation would be the best advice I have for OP and her husband.
josmiley_fml 0
Very well said!
nevershoutkendal_fml 11
I'm not stupid. I have my opinion, and you have yours. You are adults, and you should know to respect that. I'd be terribly hurt. But I wouldn't ask for a divorce right that moment. If we couldn't work it out, or if he cheated on me another time, I would consider a divorce. But divorce isn't something to do all willy-nilly.
CheshireHalli 19
Neither is bringing a hooker to the house, especially to the bed that you and your wife share.
loserman67 36
TAAAADAAAA, he brought home the present he's always wanted thereby saving you the time and trouble of having to shop. What a thoughtful, considerate gesture. He also thought of you, bringing someone home that you could enjoy right along with him. HAPPY BIRTHDAY HUNNY! Let's have a three-way!
laurenlovesjb 20
GWow he sounds like an idiot! He needs to take a look at his life. He can have a trashy hooker, or his wife who finally finds the opportunity to throw him a wonderful party and is ready to five him a great day when she finds a hooker with her idiot husband. Sorry OP, I hope you can either work things out or get a clean and relatively easy divorce!