Today, I found the perfect opportunity to throw my husband a surprise party since he thought I was away on a business trip. He came home with a hooker. Surprise! FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my husband planned a surprise party. He would pretend to forget my birthday, I'd leave in a rage and go to my best friend's house, where the surprise party would be. It would have been a great plan had I gone to her house and not my side dick's apartment. Now I'm totally fucked. FML
Today, I decided to surprise my husband by bringing home a case of beer and renting us a porno. He decided to surprise me by telling me he was leaving me for his pregnant girlfriend. FML
Today, I threw myself a surprise party. FML
Today, I just found my husband on Craigslist. He's working away from home, and he's looking to give a blowjob. FML
Today, after spending a week defending my marriage to everyone, I found out my husband has an addiction I never knew about. Hookers. FML
Today, my wife told me she had a surprise for me when I came home. Surprise to me means sex, not a new puppy. FML
Today, it was my girlfriend's birthday. To surprise her, I told her that I was going away on business, and could not be there on her birthday. When I show up at her house to surprise her with a present and cake, she opens the door in her underwear, beside a man in his boxers. She was surprised. FML
Today, I ran into my husband and his mistress. He was picking her up at the airport. I was catching a flight to a conference with my boss. He had flowers for her, and his arm around her. My boss knows my husband as well. FML
Today, I caught my soon to be husband screwing our wedding planner. FML
Today, I found out the girl my husband's been calling "Sister" isn't actually his sister, but instead a hooker whose work name is "Sister". FML
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Top comments
MCRaddict15 15
What a douche. He was more than lucky to have someone as compassionate as you. Oh well, his loss.
dude1122332 9
I think you have another surprise for him right? Like some papers..
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Comments (168)
AerBear115 15
Hm...that IS a surprise. If he's been doing that he sounds like a jackassed fucktard. Give him another surprise ;)
EvilGenius913 2
I'm sorry but who the f*ck clicked "you deserve it"? Which part of that did she have coming?
rivaraven 35
When using phone, the clicking might go wrong and sometimes people just are asses.
GK2012 9
I think you both got a surprise
Dracoboxer357 36
105- *Reads suggested post* *Stands up, puts chair away, leaves stage left* Okay, hooker term understood a bit more....and I'll take a pass, thanks. ;P
Tempest559 12
Hope he kept his receipt.
brian_b005 3
Hopefully she was a high-end hooker.
Leslier_fml 4
Sorry this happened to you, at least you found out what kind of husband he was and you will have no problem spending half of his money from now on.
ravenh1979 13
Damn that sucks!
lovelyspyder 7
Good news is, at least all his friends and family know what a scumbag he is...
Austyn57 1
ha ha ha that sucks