Today, I found the perfect opportunity to throw my husband a surprise party since he thought I was away on a business trip. He came home with a hooker. Surprise! FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my husband planned a surprise party. He would pretend to forget my birthday, I'd leave in a rage and go to my best friend's house, where the surprise party would be. It would have been a great plan had I gone to her house and not my side dick's apartment. Now I'm totally fucked. FML
Today, I decided to surprise my husband by bringing home a case of beer and renting us a porno. He decided to surprise me by telling me he was leaving me for his pregnant girlfriend. FML
Today, I threw myself a surprise party. FML
Today, I just found my husband on Craigslist. He's working away from home, and he's looking to give a blowjob. FML
Today, after spending a week defending my marriage to everyone, I found out my husband has an addiction I never knew about. Hookers. FML
Today, my wife told me she had a surprise for me when I came home. Surprise to me means sex, not a new puppy. FML
Today, it was my girlfriend's birthday. To surprise her, I told her that I was going away on business, and could not be there on her birthday. When I show up at her house to surprise her with a present and cake, she opens the door in her underwear, beside a man in his boxers. She was surprised. FML
Today, I ran into my husband and his mistress. He was picking her up at the airport. I was catching a flight to a conference with my boss. He had flowers for her, and his arm around her. My boss knows my husband as well. FML
Today, I caught my soon to be husband screwing our wedding planner. FML
Today, I found out the girl my husband's been calling "Sister" isn't actually his sister, but instead a hooker whose work name is "Sister". FML
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Top comments
MCRaddict15 15
What a douche. He was more than lucky to have someone as compassionate as you. Oh well, his loss.
dude1122332 9
I think you have another surprise for him right? Like some papers..
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Comments (168)
PeytonBieda 8
She just wants to start a flame in his heart.
mrnuleef 7
"Youre a hooker!"
jarockstar27 10
Give him a surprise of your own, divorce papers. Although at this point i dont think thats going to be much of a surprise....
thecovert 7
You no doubt surprised him! Do it against with the papers.
num147000and1 6
Get a divorce if you want. At least you'll know that the only way he can get someone to sleep with him is if he pays a ****. That shows that in his near future he will either be broke or get an STD. Anyone would be lucky to have you, he is either to naive or stupid to notice.
noisebox 1
You could have had a three way for the party
Brak61 5
Well it is HIS birthday after all.
Kenton1008 21
And that gives him a right to cheat, how...?
Jasonf6 0
Ex husband now right?
hateevryone 15
Surprise his ass with divorce papers.
PeytonBieda 8
I love you too. Fallout is the greatest.