Today, I found that the love of my life is 3.5 inches, fully erect. My cell phone is bigger than that. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Same thing different taste
Today, my husband called me to the bedroom to show me something. This "something" was him demonstrating his seemingly well-trained ability to accurately type out a sentence on my phone using nothing but his erect penis. FML
Backhanded
Today, my girlfriend told me that if my penis was on any other body it would be considered small, but on me it's "cute." FML
Chubby Love, by Bon Iver
Today, I realised that my husband and I have gotten so fat that his already small dick no longer even reaches me. FML
Today, I was having sex with a girl. After we finish, she tells me she already has a boyfriend, and that his penis is larger than mine. FML
Multitasking
Today, my wife picked up her phone, answered a text, added a few things to her phone's shopping list, and looked at her phone calendar to remind me I have a doctor's appointment tomorrow. She did all this whilst my penis was inside her, giving it my best effort as well. Self confidence zero. FML
Humblebrag
Today, I learned that my insecurities regarding my dick size were unfounded, as my girlfriend gushed over my dick and said it was amazing. We then got down to business, and almost immediately heard, "Ow! Fuck, that's my cervix! This hurts! Stop!" FML
Today, my girlfriend kindly let me know that she didn't care that I am 'below average' in the penis department because it will leave her nice and tight for her next boyfriend. FML
Today, an extremely attractive woman from FedEx came to deliver my new phone. I was wearing athletic shorts and had an erection. She looked down and laughed. FML
Let down
Today, I went on a date with a sweet guy who was 6”11 tall, a size 14 shoe, a 55 inch chest from all his gym muscles, hands like baseball gloves, and gorgeous green eyes… all attached to a 3 inch penis that I could barely feel, and that lasted barely 15 seconds. The foreplay was shit too. FML
Today, I woke up to my girlfriend having phone sex less than 10 feet away from me. FML
Top comments
Alliria 3
Am I the only person that feels worse for the guy then the OP?
bgo7 0
if its true love than it shouldnt matter if his erection ia 3.5 or 10 in!! haha
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Comments (572)
Devin91 20
proud to say im way bigger than that. ahahha. fhs life.
tswiftbaby 15
i see we both have pictures of our best assets ;)
Prime0009 0
you have barely any ****. Quit bragging!
staceysgenesis16 0
*ahem* sumones a haterrr !! lol
LadyClarik 8
I originally though op was a man and that "The love of my life" was a euphemism for his penis. Maybe I should leave off my Bombay Blue, so that I can actually comprehend these FML' s then again they are so MUCH funnier when I'm bombed.
Tubbz 0
hahah good old bombay saphire i like your stle that shit can get you to the moon and back
halfnhalf77 1
my bf n i get creative n find ways to wrk around it. he's not 3.5 inches but I luv him n would never leave him cuz a that.
mfelax9556 8
give him some enlargement pills cuz thats sad lol
scarred_foreva 40
Any other fake potions you want to try to sell to the poor guy?
zzzBOLTzzz 1
If he was really the 'love of your life', you wouldn't be bitching. YDI
KingD123 0
Meh, bitches gonna bitch
laurachiica15 0
uh how did you not know this before you fell in love hahah
RebornProblem 0
Some people actually wait to have sex.
nocomment1 3
I would say because she wouldn't have fallen in love if she already knew :p
ChelseaRaeS 7
Is he Asian?
seraphxchild 3
...time to buy a toy?
klong91 7
If you love him that shouldn't matter.
Persephone1001 3
I don't understand the logic of comparing it to a cellphone. Lots of things are bigger than 3.5 inches, what does that have to do with anything? Size is relative, women vary as much as men do so it's unfair to blame an unsatisfactory size ratio all on him. I've slept with guys smaller than that and it's been fine. Methinks it's time for OP to do some kegel exercises.
alexFYL 11
For serious? 3.5" is the size of a finger. I've slept with guys smaller than that and it was pretty much the worst thing ever. Kegels aren't going to help that.
EvilDave 13
3.5 " is also the size of a cheese wheel. What you forget is that there are 3 dimensions, only one of which is being presented in this FML. His penis is 3.5" long. But, the circumference could be anything from 1" to 6" . Short and fat can work to his advantage.
alexFYL 11
This is true... but usually as one measurement goes up, so does the other. So this guy could magically be blessed with girth... but I doubt it. I prefer girth to length anyhow... but both together = fantastic.
Persephone1001 3
Yes seriously. The smallest I've had was 1.5 inches. I'm not saying I wouldn't have liked an extra 2, but I was so turned on by the time we got to penetration that I didn't care much. Most of a woman's nerve endings are in the outer inch or so anyway. In my experience, well endowed men make much less effort with foreplay. Maybe I was just lucky in getting a partner who was fairly creative in using what he had, there were some positions we couldn't really do, but you just have to experiment. There's lots of information on the web about positions for different penis sizes, and the karma sutra divides men and women into size categories and recommends positions based on different combinations. I'd also recommend getting some snug fitting condoms, having them fall off is no fun for anyone...