Today, I found that the love of my life is 3.5 inches, fully erect. My cell phone is bigger than that. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Same thing different taste
Today, my husband called me to the bedroom to show me something. This "something" was him demonstrating his seemingly well-trained ability to accurately type out a sentence on my phone using nothing but his erect penis. FML
Backhanded
Today, my girlfriend told me that if my penis was on any other body it would be considered small, but on me it's "cute." FML
Chubby Love, by Bon Iver
Today, I realised that my husband and I have gotten so fat that his already small dick no longer even reaches me. FML
Today, I was having sex with a girl. After we finish, she tells me she already has a boyfriend, and that his penis is larger than mine. FML
Multitasking
Today, my wife picked up her phone, answered a text, added a few things to her phone's shopping list, and looked at her phone calendar to remind me I have a doctor's appointment tomorrow. She did all this whilst my penis was inside her, giving it my best effort as well. Self confidence zero. FML
Humblebrag
Today, I learned that my insecurities regarding my dick size were unfounded, as my girlfriend gushed over my dick and said it was amazing. We then got down to business, and almost immediately heard, "Ow! Fuck, that's my cervix! This hurts! Stop!" FML
Today, my girlfriend kindly let me know that she didn't care that I am 'below average' in the penis department because it will leave her nice and tight for her next boyfriend. FML
Today, an extremely attractive woman from FedEx came to deliver my new phone. I was wearing athletic shorts and had an erection. She looked down and laughed. FML
Let down
Today, I went on a date with a sweet guy who was 6”11 tall, a size 14 shoe, a 55 inch chest from all his gym muscles, hands like baseball gloves, and gorgeous green eyes… all attached to a 3 inch penis that I could barely feel, and that lasted barely 15 seconds. The foreplay was shit too. FML
Today, I woke up to my girlfriend having phone sex less than 10 feet away from me. FML
Top comments
Alliria 3
Am I the only person that feels worse for the guy then the OP?
bgo7 0
if its true love than it shouldnt matter if his erection ia 3.5 or 10 in!! haha
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Comments (572)
4Lonely2Stoner0 0
Tape your cell phone onto it to add another 4 inches, and turn it on vibrate.
jpriddy 0
That's pretty shallow of the OP. How would she feel if he went around saying "the love of my life has small breasts"... :-/
purple91 8
This is why you should try before you commit/fall in love.
underpaid011 0
my girl has a 32A chest. I asked her to marry me, the wedding is set for October. love is not about the size of body parts, it just is.
alexFYL 11
But breasts don't do anything. The only function they serve is to feed your child. If the only way you could have sex with your fiance was to put your penis between her breasts, but you couldn't, because they were too small, perhaps it would be similar.
ReynshineCutting 10
That's not the point 203. The point is if you love someone, you love all of them for who they are. You don't just pick bits and pieces of them to love. There's a lot more to a loving relationship than sex and it seems like people today have forgotten that.
alexFYL 11
In any relationship you have with any other human being, there are going to be things about them you don't like. Humans, being human, do have faults. No one is perfect. I don't love everything about my BF, and he doesn't love everything about me, but for the majority of the time, it works.
Jrefinne 7
It'd be nice if it worked the other way around: evaluate the goods before you commit emotionally.
alexFYL 11
But breasts don't do anything. The only function they serve is to feed your child. If the only way you could have sex with your fiance was to put your penis between her breasts, but you couldn't, because they were too small, perhaps it would be similar.
ScuseMePrincess 2
If you're going by that logic, the only function of a penis is to impregnate females (and urinate), so its size shouldn't matter either.
killakiwi 1
#199 you should really read a book or two before making statements like that.
alexFYL 11
What? Inserting a penis into a ******, multiple times, creates sexual release from both parties (actually only about 30% of the time in women, most need external stimulation as well). For a man, a womans breasts are purely visual. They do nothing for him. Touching boobs is fun but unneccessary for happy sex. And on top of that, only in a small percentage of VERY LUCKY women does caressing their breasts do anything sexual for them. @289 Oh, how cute, you are trying to make a smart statement without really saying anything at all. Clarify or say nothing, your comment as is does nothing for me at all (much like a micropenis would).
Tempsey 0
A womans breasts make them seem more like a mature woman and less like a man or child.
alexFYL 11
And? A young boy has a small penis. That actually worked out better for me than for you. :P
duckiecrazy 0
I feel sorry for him, but I'm sure if u love him u can find away around his small stature. ;)
Dez31396 0
are u guys already married? if so fyl
thumbsup4121 0
wow all I have to say is your really shallow that's messed up bad sex makes you depressed really wow just wow you know nothing about love
spekledworf 18
hahaha I'm a girl and mines bigger than that!
alex1432 9
well now that means your clit hangs down like 4 inches, that's ******* nasty
seo_fml 0
so, you should start worry about that!
idl3mind 0
set phone to vibrate…