Today, my girlfriend told me that if my penis was on any other body it would be considered small, but on me it's "cute." FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I noticed that my penis looks tiny in my girlfriend's hands. Without thinking, I pointed it out to her. Now she thinks I have a small cock, and I think she has man-hands. Either way, we're both turned off. FML
Today, my girlfriend and I were having a casual conversation, when the topic suddenly became my penis. Before I knew what was going on, she said, "It's not the size that matters though. It's how you use it. So I guess you're ok." FML
Today, my girlfriend named my penis "little baby carrot." FML
Today, my girlfriend told me that if I shaved, my penis might seem bigger. FML
Today, my girlfriend and I were getting hot and heavy. She had her shirt off, and commented on the small size of her breasts. Trying to make her feel better, I said I'd dated girls with smaller breasts. She replied by saying she'd dated bigger penises. FML
Today, my girlfriend kindly let me know that she didn't care that I am 'below average' in the penis department because it will leave her nice and tight for her next boyfriend. FML
Today, my girlfriend compared my penis to a snake. Not because of the size or shape, but because a snake is not something she imagines herself ever touching. FML
Today, my new girlfriend was telling me how she's attracted to "All-American" looking guys. Tall, manly body, handsome face. Then she says, "But it's ok, you're cute too." FML
Today, my girlfriend refered to her vagina as a meat wallet, and to my penis as small change. FML
Today, my girlfriend said she was going to start appreciating the little things in life. She's starting with my penis. FML
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Top comments
CryMoreFMLs 15
Fun sized!
PSQ91 6
She's trying not be offensive. You should be grateful to have her.
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Comments (186)
CryMoreFMLs 15
Fun sized!
changesinme 0
At least she still gave you some!
Prankster7o7 5
It's not the size of the ship, it's the motion of the ocean!
fanceh 10
It's not the car, but the person driving the car.
RawrNom 0
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
9- WIN. it's not the size that counts, but how you use it ;)
myfruitloop 0
I see what yal did there.
Iheartfunny 1
OPs lucky my girlfriend likes to eat gummy worms in bed to make fun of me.
LiveLaughFML 10
OP forgot the "T" in their username.
EvilPotato 15
13 I didn't see, please enlighten me.
urdirtyolduncle 15
"Look at the cute little dick."
Alex94xela 0
Lolol -insert small penis joke here- Srsly FYL and FHL
leadman1989 16
I remember an FML abut somebody telling someone else about their name lol. It could stand for something else... :p
dorux1897 0
But Will It Blend?
CryMoreFMLs 15
Lil Jeffery strikes again?
hotPinklipstick 24
it's not the size of the boat it's the motion of the ocean, but I sure as hell wouldn't want to row to England in a row boat, especially if the ocean isn't rocking at all. Then again I wouldn't want to go to England on a ship that has propellers that go out every 5 minutes. if you have a 3 inch dick but you know how to use it and make it feel like it's 8 inches then I see no problem, same goes for a guy with an 8 inch dick, if you've got the tool but don't know how to use it, I don't want to deal with it.
xDMACx12 7
Hahaha! I remember that FML
elephantom12 9
118 - Your a lesbian and your saying that a small one can't do the job yet you have intercourse with women who don't even have a dick and are probably able to make you climax. Makes no sense. A 3 inch one has the potential to please a woman more than a 7 inch one does.
False_Stupidity 42
Maybe the OP is a midget?.. In which case a more normal sized 6 incher would look huge and out of place.. Cute is good, girls like cute, she's a keeper
Kyzahhh 7
"hey tic tac dick" "yeah what?... Come here ill freshen your breath"
KennKenn 0
121- a 3 inch is proven to be the only size you'll need to please a woman. The good thing is that it doesn't matter what kind, Visa, Mastercard, or American Express!
blaherman 12
'twas funny till the ****** invaded.
XxHoPPoxX 8
Yes but a hot one....therefore it is acceptable
stro88 6
You shoulda replied that maybe her ****** was just too big proportionally.
ashleydawm94 2
9-I totally agree with that
Link5794 18
Sex is like boogie boarding. It's more about how long it lasts than the size. Of course, there's a lower limit and an upper limit. If it's too small, nothing happens, and if it's too big, you get tossed around underwater and you get your pockets full of sand, and the next morning, you find out that a sand crab got washed into your pocket. And then you decide to go boogie boarding for the first time since last summer.
deXter11_fml 0
FYL indeed
Lanceeden 12
Is this after you hung a ring from it and asked her to marry you?
kareltje 17
Hahahahahahaha! Touché!
all4pooh 4
At least she was nice about it lol
fancyclown 9
Exactly. I'd take it as a bittersweet compliment.
PSQ91 6
She's trying not be offensive. You should be grateful to have her.
kickazz16 15
Ikr? It's not an fml because she was being polite.
yamatelle 19
I know right? Op, she was just making a small, little, itsie bitsie joke. You should be grateful that she didn't say something like, "Your penis is so small that bacteria point at it and laugh".
captianKool 4
Or she could have said: your dicks so small you have to rent out the Hubble to find it
dubstepp 15
Haha yeah at least it's cute on you and as long as you can work it! Its all goooood.
Hannahrayne 0
That's hot.turns me on. Lolll
LiveLaughFML 10
..you get turned on by small things.
Hannahrayne 0
I was kidding.
AvengedSevenfold_fml_fml 12
Well, at least she likes it XD
missashzilla 17
It could be because you have a small body. I know a lot of girls that dont think it looks right to have a huge dick on a 5' guy.
FYLDeep 26
Cute? Are you 7 years old?
KiddNYC1O 22
One of the undercover 10 year-olds posted this anecdote...
Buzzy123 7
-Clicks on penis enlargement add on **** site-
Buzzy123 7
HOLY SHIT I got 48 likes :D I kinda like this commenting stuff.
bubblekitty 1
You shouldn't get the idea that it would be easy for you to propose to her even if your penis is fun sized