Today, I found that the love of my life is 3.5 inches, fully erect. My cell phone is bigger than that. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Same thing different taste
Today, my husband called me to the bedroom to show me something. This "something" was him demonstrating his seemingly well-trained ability to accurately type out a sentence on my phone using nothing but his erect penis. FML
Backhanded
Today, my girlfriend told me that if my penis was on any other body it would be considered small, but on me it's "cute." FML
Chubby Love, by Bon Iver
Today, I realised that my husband and I have gotten so fat that his already small dick no longer even reaches me. FML
Today, I was having sex with a girl. After we finish, she tells me she already has a boyfriend, and that his penis is larger than mine. FML
Multitasking
Today, my wife picked up her phone, answered a text, added a few things to her phone's shopping list, and looked at her phone calendar to remind me I have a doctor's appointment tomorrow. She did all this whilst my penis was inside her, giving it my best effort as well. Self confidence zero. FML
Humblebrag
Today, I learned that my insecurities regarding my dick size were unfounded, as my girlfriend gushed over my dick and said it was amazing. We then got down to business, and almost immediately heard, "Ow! Fuck, that's my cervix! This hurts! Stop!" FML
Today, my girlfriend kindly let me know that she didn't care that I am 'below average' in the penis department because it will leave her nice and tight for her next boyfriend. FML
Today, an extremely attractive woman from FedEx came to deliver my new phone. I was wearing athletic shorts and had an erection. She looked down and laughed. FML
Let down
Today, I went on a date with a sweet guy who was 6”11 tall, a size 14 shoe, a 55 inch chest from all his gym muscles, hands like baseball gloves, and gorgeous green eyes… all attached to a 3 inch penis that I could barely feel, and that lasted barely 15 seconds. The foreplay was shit too. FML
Today, I woke up to my girlfriend having phone sex less than 10 feet away from me. FML
Top comments
Alliria 3
Am I the only person that feels worse for the guy then the OP?
bgo7 0
if its true love than it shouldnt matter if his erection ia 3.5 or 10 in!! haha
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (572)
alexjadexo 0
So what? You should love him no matter what.
DRIEAM 0
Love of your life, and you're FML'ing over something he can't really help.
sleepereffect 0
get over it
All_I_Need 4
I'm amazed to see that many people don't know that they can use their tongue and finger to statisfy a woman and that they're more likely to succeed that way.
kinga08 0
I completely agree, I believe a lot of women actually are more likely to ****** if their partner is going down on them. However, there is just something about that feeling of having a penis put inside your ******...
neoamaru_fml 8
woaa..we seriously are a generation that thinks about absolutely nothing but SEX..well dear, there's lots of flavors of ice cream out there, you'll have time to enjoy it all before 19
carpediemryders 0
the positive aspect of this is that you don't have to worry about him beating your guts out or him bottoming out
rhpsfan9 10
if he can work it then shouldn't be a problem since your in love with him
mikeyh277 0
well at least you can find your phone
jennlb08 3
Don't worry. It ca be fixed
Haterman123 0
lol maybe u can adopt?
loveofyourlife11 0
WTF?!?! just because he is small doesn't mean he can't ******* have kids! and if op has that big of a problem that she won't have sex with him because of it, she needs to get a ******* life and get over it. if she won't have sex with him because of his size, she doesn't deserve anything more than her ******* phone to please her!
gigiskye 20
But why would she want to have sec with him if she can't have any pleasure?