Today, I found out that my roommate has a masturbation problem; the problem is that he does it in my bed. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I came home to find out my roommate had sex in my bed, because he didn't want his date to know he has a smaller bed. FML
Today, I walked in on my roommate having sex in my bed, because apparently hers is "for sleeping only". FML
Today, I heard my boyfriend masturbate next to me and then relieves himself on my bed sheets. FML
Today, I found out my roommate has been using my bed for months because he didn't want his sheets to "smell like gay sex" when his mom washed them. FML
Today, I found out that my roommate was responsible for stealing my socks. When I confronted him about it, he told me that he did it because he likes looking at my bare feet and jerking off into my socks. We’re both guys. FML
Today, my roommate is super comfortable around me. Comfortable enough to masturbate while we are in the same room. I asked him to stop, which took some self-control because I wanted to shout at him. He said he needs to do it because of his shin splints. Whatever. FML
Today, I listened to my roommate having sex from 3 a.m. until 6 a.m. When I looked over at my girlfriend, who must have thought I was sleeping, I noticed she was masturbating. FML
Today, after getting into bed, I found a used condom under my covers. I asked my roommate about it. She freely admitted that since my bed was comfier than hers, she had sex with her boyfriend on it. FML
Today, I found out my boyfriend has to picture someone else when we have sex. The most recent: my roommate. FML
Today, my roommate spends so much time in our dorm room that I got a boner when I heard him leaving for class, because it was my first chance in days to jack off in peace. FML
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Top comments
Suchagoonnn 4
Join him
RodzillaX 30
Now is the time to go ********** in their bed.
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Comments (96)
peoplepainter 1
Then I'd develop a problem of masturbating on his bed. While he's in it. On his face.
stevothedevo 25
Is that how you got your name?
finch01 18
I am just likes and peas paper to write a note to say out...
Grimnirwher9 21
What?
TheyCallMeDamien 18
Change rooms. This is why I prefer single rooms. Sharing means dealing with other people's BS.
toaster012 17
I would just the door to your room.
ordonblade46 3
Your roommate is a man? Are you male or female?
ropeandneck 7
I'm sorry, I really didn't want to touch you that way, it wasn't on purpose ! but..... where the hell did I put my fingers to make you do such a weird sound ?
iamthunder 4
Bet you didn't see that one cumming ... until you laid down!
fgwrxfiend 11
If he keeps it up make sure another problem of his will be getting his lotion replaced with icy hot
boshbish 14
I suggest you buy a taser. Next time it happens, zap hiim in the balls. Problem solved.
stevothedevo 25
Maybe its time to get a, not so disgusting, room mate?