Today, I found out my roommate has been using my bed for months because he didn't want his sheets to "smell like gay sex" when his mom washed them. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I came home to find out my roommate had sex in my bed, because he didn't want his date to know he has a smaller bed. FML
Today, I found out that my roommate has a masturbation problem; the problem is that he does it in my bed. FML
Today, I woke up to my roommate sniffing my underwear. He said he was checking if they were clean, so he could borrow them later. Which may have been reasonable, if I weren't still sleeping in them. FML
Today, I found out that my flatmate wears my underwear. FML
Today, after getting into bed, I found a used condom under my covers. I asked my roommate about it. She freely admitted that since my bed was comfier than hers, she had sex with her boyfriend on it. FML
Today, while visiting my son at university, I noticed a funky smell in his room. He admitted to not changing his bedsheets since he moved in 2.5 years ago. I’ve raised an animal. FML
Today, I found out my roommate thinks the sink is an appropriate place to wash his junk. FML
Today, I walked in on my roommate having sex in my bed, because apparently hers is "for sleeping only". FML
Today, I woke up to the sound of someone having sex in the room next to me. I don't have a roommate. Turns out my mom thought I was out of town and used her extra key to bring a guy over for sex. FML
Today, I found out that my roommate was responsible for stealing my socks. When I confronted him about it, he told me that he did it because he likes looking at my bare feet and jerking off into my socks. We’re both guys. FML
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Top comments
BurnInDemonFire 39
What does gay sex smell like? Is it possible to discern that two men ****** on a sheet just by smelling it? Why would his mom sniff his dirty sheets? Why can't your roommate wash his own sheets? What kind of justice have you wrought upon him for soiling your bed linen? Are all these questions annoying? Should I not ask any more?
Mungolikecandy 19
Locks are useful things and can be purchased for not exorbitant sums.
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Comments (14)
BurnInDemonFire 39
What does gay sex smell like? Is it possible to discern that two men ****** on a sheet just by smelling it? Why would his mom sniff his dirty sheets? Why can't your roommate wash his own sheets? What kind of justice have you wrought upon him for soiling your bed linen? Are all these questions annoying? Should I not ask any more?
blightsight 10
Probably smells like shit
BurnInDemonFire 39
Thanks for volunteering to find out. I would have done it myself, but alas, I am considered by all genders to be "fugly", so I appreciate your assistance in answering my question.
Mungolikecandy 19
Locks are useful things and can be purchased for not exorbitant sums.
raven_of_azarath 35
Unless they live in a traditional style dorm.
real life problems 26
Did you smell them to make sure his mom wont suspect it?
FishyFishy 12
See, he would have to know what that smells like first...... I see someone coming out of the closet soon!
RichardPencil 32
Make his mom wash your gay sheets! You don’t really care if he comes out to his mom, or if your roommate “outs” you to her. You just want clean sheets!
lexos 16
Start taking a shit on his bed cause you don't want the toilet to stink.
Charlie Given 28
Just have sex with a woman in his bed and yours then the next time he brings back his BF they'll smell nothing but a woman everywhere 😈
boopingsnoot 25
Dear Roomate: Here’s $5 in quarters, and printed MapQuest directions to the nearest laundromat. If you’re gonna sex like an adult, act like one. P.S. I peed on your pillow so you should go sooner than later.
Taurus_ChicKa 37
I don't know what's worse - the fact that your roommate used your bed to have sex in, or that his mom still does his laundry.
distortedcognition 17
Think I threw up a little.