Today, my roommate spends so much time in our dorm room that I got a boner when I heard him leaving for class, because it was my first chance in days to jack off in peace. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, it's the sixth day in a row my roommate has not left our dorm room. I miss jacking off. FML
Today, I realised that my body has its own masturbation cycle; while I was out shopping, I heard the intro music to my room-mate's favourite video game, and popped an uncontrollable boner. FML
Today, I listened to my roommate having sex from 3 a.m. until 6 a.m. When I looked over at my girlfriend, who must have thought I was sleeping, I noticed she was masturbating. FML
Today, I found out that my roommate has a masturbation problem; the problem is that he does it in my bed. FML
Today, while cleaning the hostel, I had to make some beds in a dorm room. There were three guys in the room, one of whom was sitting on a bed. He looked me straight in the eye and I gave him a big smile before I realized he was jerking off. FML
Today, after months of patiently waiting, I finally got my roommates out of the house for the night so I could have sex with my boyfriend for the first time without being interrupted. He couldn't get it up. FML
Today, I heard my roommate moaning my name in the shower. FML
Today, my college roommate whom I've never met moved in. Good thing I wasn't completely naked, playing with myself on the couch when he walked in. That would've been awkward. FML
Today, I can hear my flatmate masturbating loudly and asking himself if he likes it. And replying. FML
Today, my roommate is super comfortable around me. Comfortable enough to masturbate while we are in the same room. I asked him to stop, which took some self-control because I wanted to shout at him. He said he needs to do it because of his shin splints. Whatever. FML
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Top comments
Thaylok 17
Pavlov would like to speak with you. maybe you should get out more yourself.
Ubehage 32
First time you could jack off IN PEACE? How many times you did it not in peace?
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Comments (4)
Thaylok 17
Pavlov would like to speak with you. maybe you should get out more yourself.
Brightside86 31
Sounds like you should get a girlfriend. Heads up it will never be easier than when you are in college right now.
Ubehage 32
First time you could jack off IN PEACE? How many times you did it not in peace?
mambamami15 2
relatable the worst is if they forget something & double back and catch you OMG