Today, my roommate is super comfortable around me. Comfortable enough to masturbate while we are in the same room. I asked him to stop, which took some self-control because I wanted to shout at him. He said he needs to do it because of his shin splints. Whatever. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I found out that my roommate has a masturbation problem; the problem is that he does it in my bed. FML
Today, I can hear my flatmate masturbating loudly and asking himself if he likes it. And replying. FML
Today, my roommate spends so much time in our dorm room that I got a boner when I heard him leaving for class, because it was my first chance in days to jack off in peace. FML
Today, I moved into my new apartment and met my new roommate. Immediately after shaking hands he suggested that we make a "masturbation schedule" to avoid any awkward situations. Way to avoid an awkward situation. FML
Today, I heard my boyfriend masturbate next to me and then relieves himself on my bed sheets. FML
Today, my best friend and roommate has decided to "stop being controlled by society" while at home. This involves him walking around naked, masturbating whenever he wants, and not cleaning up his guys. I've stepped in it three times already. FML
Today, I met the guy who will be my dorm roommate for the fall semester. One of the first things he said was, "By the way, I'm into self-massage, so don't get weirded out if you hear noises coming from my room a lot." Great. FML
Today, I share a room with a person who masturbates noisily every morning at 5 a.m. like clockwork. Only I can't really say anything, because she's literally deaf. I wish she could hear herself. FML
Today, I found out that my roommate was responsible for stealing my socks. When I confronted him about it, he told me that he did it because he likes looking at my bare feet and jerking off into my socks. We’re both guys. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were having sex, and he was moaning a lot. My ego was quickly crushed, though, when I found out they were moans of pain due to a foot cramp. We had to stop so I could rub his foot better. FML
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Top comments
Vesi 30
Yeah um.. I think that's something akin to exposing oneself to unwilling people.. I believe that is illegal. Next time throw some cold water on him and tell him to take it to his bedroom or the bathroom.
RichardPencil 32
He may get rid of his shin splints, but he's going to get tennis elbow. I have tennis elbow because I play tennis. Yeah, that's the reason why.
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Comments (2)
Vesi 30
Yeah um.. I think that's something akin to exposing oneself to unwilling people.. I believe that is illegal. Next time throw some cold water on him and tell him to take it to his bedroom or the bathroom.
RichardPencil 32
He may get rid of his shin splints, but he's going to get tennis elbow. I have tennis elbow because I play tennis. Yeah, that's the reason why.