Today, I found out that my roommate has a masturbation problem; the problem is that he does it in my bed. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I came home to find out my roommate had sex in my bed, because he didn't want his date to know he has a smaller bed. FML
Today, I walked in on my roommate having sex in my bed, because apparently hers is "for sleeping only". FML
Today, I heard my boyfriend masturbate next to me and then relieves himself on my bed sheets. FML
Today, I found out my roommate has been using my bed for months because he didn't want his sheets to "smell like gay sex" when his mom washed them. FML
Today, I found out that my roommate was responsible for stealing my socks. When I confronted him about it, he told me that he did it because he likes looking at my bare feet and jerking off into my socks. We’re both guys. FML
Today, my roommate is super comfortable around me. Comfortable enough to masturbate while we are in the same room. I asked him to stop, which took some self-control because I wanted to shout at him. He said he needs to do it because of his shin splints. Whatever. FML
Today, I listened to my roommate having sex from 3 a.m. until 6 a.m. When I looked over at my girlfriend, who must have thought I was sleeping, I noticed she was masturbating. FML
Today, after getting into bed, I found a used condom under my covers. I asked my roommate about it. She freely admitted that since my bed was comfier than hers, she had sex with her boyfriend on it. FML
Today, I found out my boyfriend has to picture someone else when we have sex. The most recent: my roommate. FML
Today, my roommate spends so much time in our dorm room that I got a boner when I heard him leaving for class, because it was my first chance in days to jack off in peace. FML
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Top comments
Suchagoonnn 4
Join him
RodzillaX 30
Now is the time to go ********** in their bed.
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Comments (96)
fml0505 22
You should develop a problem of blasting farts into his pillows. Maybe shave your balls with his razor or clean the toilet with his toothbrush. Just a few ideas.
Ceejay1 13
You should put that bed in the dump and buy a new one.
Grauncho 27
Is he left-handed by any chance?
Fletchdads 9
Fart on his pillow.
stevothedevo 25
Pinkeye is definitely a suitable punishment!
SirTalkaton 22
Bust on his pillow!!!
AnimeBitch 14
Is his bed broken or something?
RagingBusch 3
Sounds like your the one with the problem
TheKillerWalrus 10
Maybe it's because it has your scent. For all we know he wears your clothe doing it.
c4rpi0 20
You should have sex on his bed and you should get a new bed
Moe2311 2
Doesn't that make him your masturbation problem?