Today, I found out that my roommate has a masturbation problem; the problem is that he does it in my bed. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I came home to find out my roommate had sex in my bed, because he didn't want his date to know he has a smaller bed. FML
Today, I walked in on my roommate having sex in my bed, because apparently hers is "for sleeping only". FML
Today, I heard my boyfriend masturbate next to me and then relieves himself on my bed sheets. FML
Today, I found out my roommate has been using my bed for months because he didn't want his sheets to "smell like gay sex" when his mom washed them. FML
Today, I found out that my roommate was responsible for stealing my socks. When I confronted him about it, he told me that he did it because he likes looking at my bare feet and jerking off into my socks. We’re both guys. FML
Today, my roommate is super comfortable around me. Comfortable enough to masturbate while we are in the same room. I asked him to stop, which took some self-control because I wanted to shout at him. He said he needs to do it because of his shin splints. Whatever. FML
Today, I listened to my roommate having sex from 3 a.m. until 6 a.m. When I looked over at my girlfriend, who must have thought I was sleeping, I noticed she was masturbating. FML
Today, after getting into bed, I found a used condom under my covers. I asked my roommate about it. She freely admitted that since my bed was comfier than hers, she had sex with her boyfriend on it. FML
Today, I found out my boyfriend has to picture someone else when we have sex. The most recent: my roommate. FML
Today, my roommate spends so much time in our dorm room that I got a boner when I heard him leaving for class, because it was my first chance in days to jack off in peace. FML
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Top comments
Suchagoonnn 4
Join him
RodzillaX 30
Now is the time to go ********** in their bed.
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Comments (96)
whY402Jay 12
Time to get his ass a Craigslist account and a lock on your door.
Pikawhore 21
And maybe you have a bed wetting problem...in his bed. ; )
Ins0mau 20
He'd probably like that.
simplysarcastics 26
That is sick and I would flip!!!! This is why I hate college and having roommates. So it would be even harder for me to live with someone again after school, I'd have to fully research a person, yet you never know... and Why do people take it as far as doing sexual acts in someone's bed. I have so many issues with that!!
lovelyohhmee 8
How did you find out? Did you catch him/her in the act?
Steffi 26
Are you a boy or a girl OP?
mattuti 8
That really doesn't make any difference
Steffi 26
Yes it does. It may not to you, but the gender of OP will affect how some people see this FML.
toaster012 17
Totally true
mattuti 8
I'm gonna assume that 'some people' would think this is worse if OP is a girl, well I disagree. It's just as bad if OP is a guy.
perdix 31
Are you just assuming he's masturbating in your bed or did you catch him ... *lowers sunglasses* red-handed?
gracehi 33
*white handed
MuppetMerkin 10
Well hopefully his junk doesn't have it's own Eco system that's getting left on your sheets... Icky.
buddy51 23
Not a problem for your roommate. He can just leave his residue behind and sleep in a bed with no wet spot!
Enslaved 38
Your roommate sounds like a horny Goldilocks. :P
Bano360 25
Sounds like a sticky situation to be in.