Today, I found out my wife has been bribing my daughter to keep quiet about her affair with my boss. That would explain the iPhone 4S, the $500 shoes, the $200 purse, and the professional $300 haircut. They told me it was because she had straight A's. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my daughter-in-law revealed to me that she caught my husband having an affair with her best friend. This was five years ago, and she is only telling me now because he stopped paying her the blackmail money to keep her mouth shut. FML
Today, I found out that my husband has been seeing another woman and my 16 year-old daughter once caught them while I was at work. She didn’t tell me about it because she was enjoying all the hush gifts, shoes, purses, and the payments for her BMW X3. FML
Today, my wife somehow found out that my "surprise bonus" from earlier this year was actually hush money from my boss to keep quiet about her affair. Rather than let a good thing alone, she threw a fit and called my boss's husband. Now I'm jobless, and my boss has sworn I'll never work in my industry again. FML
Today, I found out my daughter has a higher paid job in the same company I work in. I also found out she is dating my boss. FML
Today, I spent some of my pay on a birthday gift for my wife. She found out about the money going missing from our account, and now she thinks I'm having an affair. I work 24/7 and barely have time to see my friends, let alone have an affair. FML
Today, I found out that my wife has been having an affair with the guy who's been trying to get our relationship back on track. FML
Today, my boss told me he suspected his wife was cheating on him. I told him to pull up her Facebook page to look for suspicious activity. I looked at her profile picture and said, "Damn, that girl next to her fine! You know her?" It was his sixteen year-old daughter. FML
Today, I found out my boyfriend's mom tried to bribe him with an iPhone to dump me. He accepted. FML
Today, I found out that my wife had been debating leaving me for an old boyfriend from high school. They rekindled their relationship on Facebook, and talking on the cell phone. Both things I insisted she have. FML
Today, I found out my husband got my 22 year-old daughter pregnant. Not only that, he’s drained our savings on her including a new iPhone and Macbook, designer clothes and handbags, etc. His defense, in all seriousness, was, "She’s not even my biological daughter, chill out." FML
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Top comments
Mr40Hands 5
Wtf, all I get for straight A's is a new basketball...
sufferinurjocks 3
That's just wrong, I feel so sorry for you, FYL
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Comments (240)
ishtarfire1 0
nicest wife and daughter ever no contest
False_Stupidity 42
A's are never straight, the are always sloping or even curved, depending on the font...
SupermanXL 3
Pretty gullible to think that kind of loot was for good grades. All that A's earned us "back in the day" were Chuck E Cheese tokens.
Brex 2
That's the worst.
kyleu 0
Bitches ain't shit but hoes and tricks. And your wife is a bitch who is a hoe and turns tricks. FYL divorce her. Get spousal support. Let her keep the kids. Be a bachelor and have fun.
starburst7596 14
I want my parents to have affairs now!
mumbles93 0
That's awful! I'd never want to hurt either of my parents like that :(
Calyx_fml 22
Divorce them both.
Mourningstar 4
Time to bring up the affair with HIS boss, get his job, then make the wife pay child support!
fatalwish 6
Hmm i guess you are now a single parent? I would be