Today, I went on a trip to Cleveland. After getting lunch, my brother and I started walking back to my car. Halfway there, we were jumped, threatened with a knife, and yelled at to hand over our money. The only thing my brother could do was ask our mugger, "Uh, what gender are you?" FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I was walking home with my boyfriend, when a guy pulled a knife and told us to hand over our money. My boyfriend blurted "I don't have shit, dude! She has tons of cash!" The moment the mugger turned to me, my boyfriend ran away at top speed. FML
Today, I was walking down the street in the dark, and the woman in front of me kept looking back nervously. I jokingly assured her that I wasn't a mugger. She then took out a knife and mugged me. FML
Today, someone tried to mug me. I panicked and ran. As they chased me with their knife out, I heard a slip and a shout behind me but kept running. Six blocks later I was spotted, arrested, and held for questioning by the police. The mugger fell, stabbed themselves, and told a cop that I did it. FML
Today, as I was walking home, three burly men suddenly began to approach me. Thinking they were going to mug me, I reached for my pocketknife and said, "Stay away, I have a knife." Turns out they just wanted directions to an ice cream shop for their daughters, who were now bawling their eyes out. FML
Today, while going to work, I was mugged. On the way back, I was mugged. FML
Today, a man tried to mug me. I actually apologized to him for not having my wallet on me. FML
Today, after volunteering all day at the homeless shelter, I was mugged on my way to my car. FML
Today, I got mugged. After taking my cell phone, the guy politely said: "Thanks. Have a nice evening. Be careful on your way home." FML
Today, I witnessed an elderly lady getting mugged. I ran over to the guy mugging her and offered him the money in my wallet in return for him leaving her alone. The old lady snatched my money and ran away with the mugger. What the hell just happened? FML
Today, I walked to my local McDonald's. I spent the last 7 dollars I had on my meal. As I began to walk back to my dorm, I was mugged. I explained to them I had no money, so they stole my food. FML
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Top comments
Vidrill 22
Your brother is a genius! Trying to distract the knife yielding maniac with a gender identity crisis-inducing question! You are lucky to be alive to write this....
arandomusernameaa 20
Your brother needs to learn to keep his mouth shut...
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Comments (82)
arandomusernameaa 20
Your brother needs to learn to keep his mouth shut...
extrasnipes 22
actually the best weapon are words if he someone how gets a conversation or a slight confusion with the mugger it would be the perfect time to take the knife. seriously if you watch Doctor Who you'd agree
wardgustavo 14
Im sorry but Doctor Who isn't exactly the most realistic show
extrasnipes 22
okay well again back to the actual point, talking may actually saved their lifes
arandomusernameaa 20
Insulting a man with a knife isn't very intelligent...
P1Nk13 7
or gotten them killed
JMichael 26
11- first off anyone who'd use situations from a TV show in real life is bound to **** it up and get themselves killed, but talking can be helpful in a situation like OPs if you don't insult the person mugging you.
PuggieKid 22
Maybe that's why the girl got a 'I'm a girl' shirt!
Ki11erC 18
19 : A man with a knife? Who said it was a man... Obviously the gender was in question here.
thatssomia 12
so, what gender was the mugger?
schwaka 17
Wouldn't have helped much in Cleveland honestly.
OhDamnItsNik 4
oh just be an american an avoid the whole situation by owning a gun.
LunaRebirth 7
#63- I'm American and don't own a gun.
Sansa_fml 38
Nah, confusing these people can work. But it might be better to say something less stupid.
imaxmain 24
OP needs to follow up
caohm 18
atleast he wasn't like that guy whose last words were "what are you going to do, stab me?" right before he got stabbed.
carvar 12
How old was your brother?
Vidrill 22
Your brother is a genius! Trying to distract the knife yielding maniac with a gender identity crisis-inducing question! You are lucky to be alive to write this....
juan3611 14
Comment of the day
pdp_fml 21
I want to know if the mugger got your money.
barakados 11
He got something more valuable... His opinion.
lexiieeex3 32
This DOES need a follow up.
Wakachulak 22
Whatever his/her gender, he/she is now your brother's bitch.
CommentModerated 17
If only they had been wearing a gender identifying t-shirt.
asnakelovinbabe 16
I approve of 31's profile picture.
PresidentNorth 16
Well I approve this message.
Crazynocatlady 22
So then they could pull out their wallet for identification so you could then rob THEM. Your brother is a genius!
justagirl1998 10
What happend next?
junkman6 22
The mugger fell to the ground crying and then went home and ordered a shirt that says "I am a girl" so future mugging victims don't hurt her feelings.
buckdharma 38
She bought some Midol and they lived happily ever after.
ElectricNova 11
I guess you could say that comment from your brother further...enGENDERED a bad situation.
Nickb55 16
You're trying too hard here bud.
ElectricNova 11
I know. I apologise.
B1ackthesun 31
Great plan, piss off the person with a knife >.>
_G0D_ 9
Or piss on the person with the knife.
PresidentNorth 16
R. Kelly? Nice.