Today, my boyfriend had a Christmas party for all of our friends. He asked me not to get "too drunk". I think throwing up on the floor while simultaneously peeing your pants fit his definition. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I got a little too drunk at my best friend's birthday party and threw up in the pub bathroom. I wiped everything up, composed myself, and went back to the party table before promptly throwing up on myself in front of the whole pub. FML
Today, after my work's Christmas party, everyone got so drunk that I had to help one of my only sober co-workers take everyone home and clean up vomit. FML
Today, I called my boyfriend for a romantic night at home. I put on my hottest little dress, dimmed the lights, and put music on. My boyfriend stumbled in much later, drunk, and took one look at me before throwing up on my feet. FML
Today, I had to clean my boyfriend's puke off of our bed. Last night he ditched me to go out partying, came home, threw up, and passed out. He thinks it's only fair I clean up today because he's "not feeling well". FML
Today, I got a drunken call from my boyfriend, which consisted of him telling me that he, "does man things like fuck bitches and roll with hoes," and that I've been, "trying to turn him into a half-ass girly man," but, "that shit ain't right." Then he threw up. FML
Today, during my beloved's birthday party, I had so much to drink that I puked all over the room. FML
Today, my boyfriend borrowed my Jane Norman dress to wear to a Halloween party. He got hammered, threw up all over it, and fell unconscious on the shower floor. FML
Today, it was my boyfriend's birthday. After spending a reasonable amount of cash to get us a nice hotel room to celebrate, he decides he would rather spend the night drinking with his friends. They all threw up in the bath tub before passing out on our bed. FML
Today, I reached a new low in my relationship: my boyfriend got so drunk I had to help him take a piss. FML
Today, my boyfriend got so drunk that he was sick in the taxi, sick on me, then sick on himself when he was sitting on the toilet. What's more, I can't get into bed because he's been sick all over my half of the bed. So I'm sleeping on the sofa tonight. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
fluropanda 0
YDI. I think this more of a FHL, for having to be your boyfriend, and suffering through humilation while his girlfriend puked everywhere and pissed herself.
24788 7
Don't drink if you can't handle it around other people. It's a pretty easy solution.
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (56)
Mx_Rider 6
lol damn light weight
remy_xi 0
Oh, yes. Calling someone else a lightweight so COMPLETELY makes you sound tough and bad-ass. You have no way of knowing how much she drank, jackass. For all you know she could have had an entire fifth of vodka and twelve ******* beers. Also, men who drink too much not only get ED, but on the rare occasion they CAN get it up, their semen taste horrible because of all the alcohol in their system. The only good thing about it is that your liver is likely to have shriveled up and quit working by the time you're old enough to have figured out the rules of grammar - a date that I would suppose is a good decade and a half away.
popoman 0
Whether she was a lightweight or not, she's still an idiot for drinking past her limit. By the time you're close to your limit, you should know and stop, especially if someone else (like your boyfriend) warns you. In other words, the OP totally deserved it. AND who gives a damn about men who drink and get ED? That has nothing to do with this FML, and neither does you and your experience sucking drunk people's penises and drinking their semen (I assume you know how it tastes due to experience.). It's okay that you have a lot of experience giving BJs. We don't need or want to know about the taste of alcoholic semen.
roflmaonade 2
so what part of this is an FML? the part where you realize you have no self control and are fast going toward a life of alcoholism?
jpd212 1
to #47: um........sensitive much? what are you, the OP's defense attorney? chill the **** out, it was a comment, change your tampon size cuz clearly it's bothering you
sammiesunshine11 0
guy or girl above me nice one hehe
Rhythm_Man 0
hey #47: defensive much? sounds like you've been there before. a few times.
aerosmith3312 2
Wow....... way to flip the **** out for no reason. And in all seriousness, was the semen part really necessary?
aerosmith3312 2
That was at 47
MagneticGuitar 0
Romantic :)
Fmyspam 0
Romantic? Surely it's a fetish somewhere in Asia.
fireandice27 0
Well if you got drunk, that's kinda your fault. Unless someone physically held you down and poured alcohol down your throat, YDI.
Dont_Explain 3
You'd be surprised how often that happens in Canada.
winterharte 0
#4- Yet another reason no one likes Canada >_>
willbruton_ 0
hahaha
BangOut 2
can't say anything else but you deserve it, dumbass!
24788 7
Don't drink if you can't handle it around other people. It's a pretty easy solution.
Ireplywith_memes 0
Deserved situation is DESERVED.
fluropanda 0
YDI. I think this more of a FHL, for having to be your boyfriend, and suffering through humilation while his girlfriend puked everywhere and pissed herself.
jakeJIGSAW 2
Agreed.
rockyroad1234 0
Umm... if someone tells you not to do something, and then you go ahead and do it anyway.... then you deserve it. It's that simple.
Monkeybuttorama 0
classy. just in case you were wondering, you are the one everyone makes fun of when they are drunk. you are also the person everyone compares to when they do something stupid; "well I might have done --- but at least I wasn't like HER!" YDI for having no self-control and being trashy.
PhillyFox 0
You have nobody else to blame but yourself for this one. Nobody forced you to drink until you were drunk.