Today, I woke up and put my contacts in. It appears that I got drunk enough last night that instead of soaking my contacts in contact solution, I used mouthwash. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I woke up thinking after wearing glasses and contacts all my life that I had miraculously been corrected to 20/20. Turns out I had just fallen asleep with my contacts in. FML
Today, I woke up hungover and thirsty, I found a glass of water next to the sink, filled it up with more water, chugged it and went back to bed. I woke up an hour later to my best friend telling me she thought she lost her contacts. They were in a glass next to the sink. I ate her contacts. FML
Today, I found out what it feels like to put in a contact while drunk. My eye still hurts. FML
Today, I woke up with a hangover and a pounding headache and tried to take an ibuprofen with a glass of water. I missed my mouth and threw the pill directly into my eye. FML
Today, my younger brother decided it would be funny to put rubbing alcohol in my contact lens case while I had them soaking overnight. I didn't realize this until I put the first one in. FML
Today, I was in a rush to get to work and decided to multitask by making my coffee while brushing my teeth. Halfway through, I absentmindedly poured mouthwash into my coffee mug and took a big gulp. I spent the rest of the morning trying to get the taste of minty coffee out of my mouth. FML
Today, upon waking up, I took a sip on what I thought was a cup of water on my nightstand. I quickly discovered it was my roommate's cup of used mouthwash which she was too lazy to throw out the night before. FML
Today, I noticed a strange mark on the inside of my mouthwash bottle. As I was bending down to investigate, my hands tightened around the bottle and mouthwash squirted in my eye. It still burns. FML
Today, I accidentally took my mouthwash like a shot. I don't know what burned more, when it went down or when it came back up. FML
Today, I woke up at a stranger's house after a long night of drinking. Before leaving, I decided to steal some mouthwash so I didn't smell like a liquor store. Thinking of the night before, I instinctively downed the Listerine like a shot and puked everywhere. FML
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Top comments
mistertbawk420 10
Minty fresh
silvercamaro 22
At least you still have decent enough eyesight to post this on FML
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Comments (104)
musicforhearts 15
That must have hurt! FYL
illegalbeagle69 23
No shit.
mistertbawk420 10
Mouthwash in the eyes doesn't tickle? My life is a lie...
cryssycakesx3 23
the burn means it's working!
dragonkisses28 25
I sincerely hope that you didn't forget to floss your eyebrows.
juststephhere 23
My eyes are on fire... That would be excruciating!
Kamon97 23
Could've been worse OP could've put them in Listerine. That shit is like acid ._.
TheDog6 24
Nope not at all
tiernang 21
Understatement of the year.
mistertbawk420 10
Minty fresh
nellbell414 13
She'll be ready for any butterfly kisses
silvercamaro 22
At least you still have decent enough eyesight to post this on FML
cakefete2 31
False, speech to text at its finest.
flashback.miss 28
yikes, hopefully your eyes are better with some TLC
MrConcise 35
Why is your profile picture of OP's eye?
mistertbawk420 10
I see no lyrics in that comment
nellbell414 13
Eww wtf is your profile picture!?
AlwaysWatching 27
So many people have asked that
mageepaigeee44 15
Pretty sure it's a leach on an eye.
foxwasalamb 24
or blood
trsshup 8
i read this as "hope your eyes get better with some Thc"
GraceyBlueEyes 13
or jam. If I remember the last times this was discussed.
mageepaigeee44 15
Yea actually it does look like jam.
jad0016 12
Well at least you know your eyes are clean now
91hayek 31
How dirty are eyes to begin with?
jad0016 12
depends on what you look at
ohSNAPyall 27
Dirty eyes? Clean them up! With Orbit.
qwertsarecool122 23
Way to start the morning out fresh!
illegalbeagle69 23
Ya gotta fight gingivitis somehow! And don't forget to brush your teeth to prevent that horrible gum disease glaucoma.
KoalaBek 23
You're lucky you can still see- I know a lad who drunkenly put his in a hair wax lid with water in, put them in the next morning and went completely blind for almost a week.
Syruphs 17
That'd be so scary lol I woke up once without being able to see with my right eye and barely able to see with my left. It Was a nightmare !
BreathingClover 19
that's just fcking awful
dudeman1212 22
Look ok the bright side..now your eyes are pearly white!
ohSNAPyall 27
Probably ruby red for the time being.
angrymexicanwee 8
At least you wont have cavities in your eyes;)
myoukei 31
Well he might if the mouthwash burns holes in the sensitive tissue