Today, I was at a baseball game. This kid in front of me had binoculars and was constantly shouting. Trying to amuse the girl next to me, I leaned over and said, "That kid probably has wet dreams about baseball." She got up and said to the kid, "Come on honey, we're leaving." FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my dad took me to a Yankees game at the new Yankee Stadium. During the 5th inning the camera crew put a man on the big screen. I yelled out, "Look at that ugly asshole!" It was the guy sitting 4 seats to the left of me. FML
Today, I went to a Dodger game with my crush. Between innings, the "Kiss cam" came up on the big screen. The camera happened to land on us, and when my crush saw us on the screen, he leaned away from me and buried his face in his hands. Everyone saw, and sympathetically said "Awww." FML
Today, my friend, her husband, their baby and I went to a baseball game. The lady next to us asked if her and his kid was mine and her husband's kids. She's 5 years older than me and a different race. FML
Today, I went to my son's soccer game. I cheered his name at the top my lungs and waved with a grin on my face. I saw him whisper something to a team mate so I watched the film my husband took later that night. His friend asked, "Who is that?" and my son replied, "I don't know some fat bitch." FML
Today, I went to a baseball game with my wife. During intermission, the kiss cam chose my wife and me. So, what do you expect, I kissed her, but she decided to slap me and pretend she didn't know me. FML
Today, I was at an amusement park with my kids, when a girl in line next to us slipped a hand down her boyfriend's pants and started groping him. I politely asked her to stop, to which she snorted, "Why? Your kids've gotta learn the birds and bees somehow." FML
Today, I was in Barnes & Noble and some asshole was walking around with his phone on speaker to hear the baseball game. That asshole was my husband. FML
Today, I was pitching at a fastpitch softball game. The other team chanted about the ball being too high and almost hitting the batter in the eye. After throwing the next pitch, the ball was savagely returned by the batter, straight into my eyes. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I went to a basketball game. A very pretty woman sat next to him. During the third quarter, the kiss cam came on. But it didn't show him and me, it showed him and the other girl. And they kissed. FML
Today, at my softball game, there was one spot left for center field. The coach had to choose between me or the girl who forgot her glasses and was blind without them. He chose her. FML
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Top comments
julfunky 29
That’s supposed to be amusing? Talking about a kid’s wet dreams? So many fails in one FML.
hereforfmls 17
Didn't think you could get 3 strikes in one swing
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Comments (13)
acmariner99 25
Nice job, champ,
Helmut Arias Rodriguez 21
At least you didn’t get confronted
hereforfmls 17
Didn't think you could get 3 strikes in one swing
RichardPencil 32
Does that count as an error or a wild pitch? In the workplace, it’d be sexual harassment, and at a bar, it’d be a drink thrown in your face.
julfunky 29
That’s supposed to be amusing? Talking about a kid’s wet dreams? So many fails in one FML.
EmDizzle2007 28
it is if you're not too sensitive
Madison Gliosci 16
So you not only ruined your chances with that woman, but you ruined her son’s day...? Great job OP
user53658 15
No, the mother ruined her son's day by forcing him to leave only because some stranger said something stupid to her. Talking about overreacting. Why not just ignore it or say something like 'shut up'?
meisiemeisie 8
You really expect a woman to sit there calmly while a grown man makes a sexual comment about her CHILD?? GTFO.
jstawhitegirl 3
OMG😂
alycion 39
You don’t want to sit near me at a hockey game.
Jonkbaby 23
does your kid have wet dreams about hockey?
slowhandjp 18
What ballpark were you at ?
PryderPlayer017 5
now I'm wondering what a baseball wet dream looks like...
BurnInDemonFire 39
I'm sure they're a result of a foul ball or two.