Today, I discovered that last night, my son snuck downstairs at 3am, drank two glasses of my very expensive wine, threw up on his bed, and then slept in his own vomit. My son is 14. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I came home to find my 14-year-old son attempting to get drunk off aftershave. FML
Today, against my wishes, my son snuck out of my house to go partying. When he came home, I called him in so I could properly discipline him. While I was talking, he staggered to our fish tank, pulled open the lid, and vomited straight into it. FML
Today, I found out that my 16-year-old son bought a huge amount of grape juice, because he thought he could store it under his bed and wait for it to turn to wine. FML
Today, as I was about to leave for work, my 16-year-old son stumbled home in nothing but his underwear and pink cowboy boots. He threw his hands in the air, yelled, "BOTTLE SIP BOTTLE GUZZLE," promptly threw up and passed out in it. FML
Today, as I was getting ready for work, I heard a noise almost like someone was puking all over the bathroom floor. When I went to check, my 14-year-old son was puking all over the bathroom floor. The toilet, however, was pristine. FML
Today, I came home from work, only to find the babysitter passed out on the couch with a bottle of Jack Daniel's. At some point, it seems my son had taken the liberty of peeing on her while she slept. FML
Today, I woke up to the sound of birds chirping, had a wonderful cup of coffee, and found my son throwing up rubbing alcohol in the bathroom. FML
Today, after a short trip out of town, I came back late at night to the yard clean, the house swept and mopped, all the laundry done, and my son asleep. I was thrilled with my boyfriend, until I found him passed out, covered in spilled beer and piss. FML
Today, while searching for the pungent odor that has been lingering in my son's bedroom, I discovered various types of juice my son has been "storing" to make wine. FML
Today, I found out my son kept quiet about having head lice for a week. He's 14. FML
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Top comments
suoerkewl 15
Your son seems like a moron.
vol4life 6
He needs to learn to hold his alcohol better.
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Comments (252)
DjaySkar 14
"Snuck" is not a word. You could say "...he had been sneaking" "...he was sneaking"
5t3ff1k4h 47
snuck: past participle, past tense of sneak (Verb) Verb: Move or go in a furtive or stealthy manner. Convey (someone or something) in such a way: "someone sneaked a camera inside". Actually, it is.
yesyesnonono 10
Hahaha your son's a ******* lightweight!
pattipan 7
My first thought was the the OP was lucky this kid didn't pull a Jimi Hendrix and choke to death on his own vomit, which he could have done if he were sleeping. My brother nearly did that in college; the only thing that saved him was that he wasn't flat on his back when he barfed. He woke up in a pool of his own vomit and realized how lucky he was he hadn't accidentally killed himself.
Llama_Face89 34
Your son should be ashamed! 2 glasses?! Weak!!
mrmerino 0
He got wasted from two glasses? Liiiiiightweiiiight
prettypinkpixie 9
He's 14... what should his alcohol tolerance be?
bmay139 1
Are you sure he wasn't sleep walking? My husband AND my 3y/o daughter both sleep walk. It sucks bc one will eat and drink (which equals a mess) plus tries to drive and the little one opens and closes doors (which is odd) and falls asleep in hallways.
thewickedwitch 6
I think mom did nothing wrong. kids are kids. little jackass learned a lesson I bet though... as for locking up the wine, maybe that wasn't an option if it had to be refridgerated...
TheMathMajor 26
Parents shouldn't need to hide their alcohol if they teach their kids about it. I knew exactly where my parent's alcohol was throughout my teens, and I never snuck any. Mostly because if I asked, they would let me have some. It should be less of a taboo in the US.
geod69 8
Happens all the time
fishisacat 2
YDI for raising him, but it IS weird that he slept in his puke