Today, I discovered that last night, my son snuck downstairs at 3am, drank two glasses of my very expensive wine, threw up on his bed, and then slept in his own vomit. My son is 14. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I came home to find my 14-year-old son attempting to get drunk off aftershave. FML
Today, against my wishes, my son snuck out of my house to go partying. When he came home, I called him in so I could properly discipline him. While I was talking, he staggered to our fish tank, pulled open the lid, and vomited straight into it. FML
Today, I found out that my 16-year-old son bought a huge amount of grape juice, because he thought he could store it under his bed and wait for it to turn to wine. FML
Today, as I was about to leave for work, my 16-year-old son stumbled home in nothing but his underwear and pink cowboy boots. He threw his hands in the air, yelled, "BOTTLE SIP BOTTLE GUZZLE," promptly threw up and passed out in it. FML
Today, as I was getting ready for work, I heard a noise almost like someone was puking all over the bathroom floor. When I went to check, my 14-year-old son was puking all over the bathroom floor. The toilet, however, was pristine. FML
Today, I came home from work, only to find the babysitter passed out on the couch with a bottle of Jack Daniel's. At some point, it seems my son had taken the liberty of peeing on her while she slept. FML
Today, I woke up to the sound of birds chirping, had a wonderful cup of coffee, and found my son throwing up rubbing alcohol in the bathroom. FML
Today, after a short trip out of town, I came back late at night to the yard clean, the house swept and mopped, all the laundry done, and my son asleep. I was thrilled with my boyfriend, until I found him passed out, covered in spilled beer and piss. FML
Today, while searching for the pungent odor that has been lingering in my son's bedroom, I discovered various types of juice my son has been "storing" to make wine. FML
Today, I found out my son kept quiet about having head lice for a week. He's 14. FML
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Top comments
suoerkewl 15
Your son seems like a moron.
vol4life 6
He needs to learn to hold his alcohol better.
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Comments (252)
Attica 20
Your son is a lightweight, lol. In all seriousness though, it is normal for a child of that age to be curious and experiment with alcohol...he sees it every day in the world around him--on t.v, movies, from his peers, and his parent/s. You can't expect him to make it to 18/19/21 without him trying alcohol (and throwing it up). That's how we learn...he now knows the effect alcohol has on him, and drinking is not necessarily always as 'awesome' as it may seem to him in movies. At least not until he grows up and he can drink more without having to throw up and sleep in his own vomit. That first hangover usually smartens us all up, at that age, at least for awhile.
MsMeiriona 2
Uh. People can and do make it to legal age without drinking. I'm 22 and while I have medical reasons to avoid alcohol, even without them I don't see the appeal. Alcohol use isn't a rite of passage.
Attica 20
I didn't say that it is impossible to make it to legal age without drinking, I said that as a parent, it is not something you should expect. While it is possible for your child to make it to adulthood without drinking, it is much more likely that they will try it at some point before that. It's in the statistics, not just opinion.
Attica 20
Also, to many people, drinking is considered a rite of passage. Look at all the huge 18/19/21st birthday celebrations at bars. If you don't consider it as such, that's fine, that's your choice--but a lot of people consider it a part of their celebrations.
catanita 18
What is more important: a few glasses of wine or that your son begins to drink at a such young age?
Jewnut 0
well 2 glasses isn't much you can expect he's new at this.
Sannekee 18
Since when should parents need to hide their wine? Just teach children to keep their hands of stuff that isn't theirs!
istishia 12
The nerve of that boy! I bet he didn't even let it breathe properly before drinking it!
kei1108 13
Don't ruin this perfectly great opportunity to teach him about the dangers of alcohol!
Sannekee 18
What is up with all you people shouting to lock up the alcohol! Locking up is not the answer, raising your kids in a way that they won't take stuff that isn't theirs is!
ilovefall10 21
Then why don't you keep your wine in a locked drawer or something.
ifeelhatedlol 0
2 glasses of wine!!! What els did he do wait don't tell me, he didn't do his math homework
kinkyfemboislut 6
Pathetic by that age I could stomach an entire bottle of vodka.