Today, as I was about to leave for work, my 16-year-old son stumbled home in nothing but his underwear and pink cowboy boots. He threw his hands in the air, yelled, "BOTTLE SIP BOTTLE GUZZLE," promptly threw up and passed out in it. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I discovered that last night, my son snuck downstairs at 3am, drank two glasses of my very expensive wine, threw up on his bed, and then slept in his own vomit. My son is 14. FML
Today, I came home from work, only to find the babysitter passed out on the couch with a bottle of Jack Daniel's. At some point, it seems my son had taken the liberty of peeing on her while she slept. FML
Today, I came home to find my 14-year-old son attempting to get drunk off aftershave. FML
Today, after a short trip out of town, I came back late at night to the yard clean, the house swept and mopped, all the laundry done, and my son asleep. I was thrilled with my boyfriend, until I found him passed out, covered in spilled beer and piss. FML
Today, my son thought it was a good idea to spray deodorant into his mouth because he wanted fresh breath. This resulted in him passing out. My son is 17. FML
Today, against my wishes, my son snuck out of my house to go partying. When he came home, I called him in so I could properly discipline him. While I was talking, he staggered to our fish tank, pulled open the lid, and vomited straight into it. FML
Today, as I was getting ready for work, I heard a noise almost like someone was puking all over the bathroom floor. When I went to check, my 14-year-old son was puking all over the bathroom floor. The toilet, however, was pristine. FML
Today, my 3 year-old son projectile vomited on me. I was covered head to toe in blue Gatorade vomit. FML
Today, I was packing my son's lunch and we'd ran out of water bottles. I asked my 16 year-old to run to the store. She didn't want to, but gave me one she had. After dropping my son off, my daughter frantically told me she'd made a mistake. I sent my second grader to school with a bottle of vodka. FML
Today, I stepped out for some fresh air while I waited for my clothes to dry at the laundromat. Just as I was retrieving my clothes, a disheveled-looking kid staggered over, pushed me aside, and started vomiting his guts out all over my fresh clothes. FML
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Top comments
JoeRogansBEARD 15
Like a rhinestone cowboy
whatadaydanny 12
He had an awesome night.
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Comments (230)
JoeRogansBEARD 15
Like a rhinestone cowboy
GypsyRover 0
Sounds like someone partied to hard! Lol. Good times. It's better then waking up in jail!
JoeRogansBEARD 15
Thanks for thread jacking
jacsoccerdude3 10
Could have been worse. He could have driven home... Though op does not state how he got home.
timjones 8
Who parties on a Thursday night. Especially when he's 16
ICastillo 25
Ya the kid probably woke up with his butt sore after wearing the pink boots.
JoeRogansBEARD 15
Thank you 89 finally someone stands up for me... Lol
bingababe 16
Riding out on a horse in a star-spangled rodeo
KeannaLove 32
68- I don't know where you been, but a lot of kids party on Thursday nights.
silbot 11
Wait a second, this is FML.... Thread jacking goes on in just about every post, it's not even considered that bad, why so much hate towards it all of a sudden?
silbot 11
They want their comments to be seen. Sure, it's not a great way to do it, but in all honesty, I think most of you can say you don't scroll to the bottom of the comments page.
onlychildFTW 34
It's FML. Get over the thread jacking.
silbot 11
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^ what 123 said
Rickilynn1 10
HES A BAD BITCH NO MUZZLE
Zoh_Aubrey 8
Well, I'm off to suck a dick, see ya errbodeh.
timjones 8
But he's 16. Would he not go to school the next morning?
twinkiefeets 17
Wtf is threadjacking
Eluveitie 9
Too* Than*
ShyAnn29 15
People are so sensitive on here, threadjacking is not a big deal!
tearsXwillXfall 2
Nick minaj!
whatadaydanny 12
He had an awesome night.
captainburke 5
My thoughts exactly lol
Pandacupcakelove 26
Haha, maybe. But 16 year olds getting drink
Pandacupcakelove 26
Freaking touch screen... What I meant to say was: haha, maybe. But 16 year olds getting drunk is pretty sad. And don't worry OP, you're not a failed parent! Teenagers do stupid stuff. Just talk to your son and try to make him understand how serious this is and that he doesn't do it again.
Tuffay 14
And a good parent would make sure his day is the opposite of good. Seems like a good morning for getting some yard work done!
regan_droper 4
i started drinking when i was 14 and im fine today i have a job and am a productive member of society its not all that bad to drink at 16
onlychildFTW 34
Yeah it's not illegal at all to drink at 14 or 16. I wonder how OP son got the pink cowboy boots.
DespairFaction 11
He's 16 and shouldn't be drinking. I think like someone else said its a good day to mow the lawn and a family video of him doing it in that outfit. Then post it on his Facebook, you tube and all social media sites so he knows how big of an ass he looks like.
drewcat21 0
He sure did. He's gunna love college.
guckylynn 19
119, you're 17 and your profile claims you work at a smoke shop. How much a productive part of society can you be? Check back in 15 or so years and then you can make claims on how productive a member of society you actually are.
Bob_Example 7
Who wouldn't, and mate...i want my cowboy boots back!!
cinnamondemon 8
I wouldnt do that. thats setting up your own child to get bullied by other kids and what are you gonna do when the cops are at your house because your son is illegallyndrinking?
frank_b102 9
Actually it depends where you are. A lot of country's it is legal to drink at 16 and ok to drink at 12 but not over 5% alcohol.
loloalltheway 23
Of all the colors, He chose pink...
Awahso 25
Go Pink or go home.
Awahso 25
Or go home in pink, that is probably best.
Pretty_Pink_Lady 10
Whoever said tangerine is the new pink is seriously disturbed.
NuTrees 9
It's not common to find a pink pair of cowboy boots either..
TwiztedYuri 9
pink is the color tough guys wear. I'm guessing he's pretty tough to be able to get home he deserves those boots
skittlestrailmix 14
Do you really think that in his drunk state he was concerned about the color of his cowboy boots?
loloalltheway 23
96- no, I just said that because I really hate pink...
Pretty_reckless_fml 18
He was probably wearing pink boots to raise awareness for breast cancer research, what a kind and thoughtful young man :L
bjobabygirl 12
Ewwwwww, sorry that you have to clean that up :(
JoeRogansBEARD 15
The FML doesn't say who Cleans it
bjobabygirl 12
Yea it doesn't but who else is gonna clean up her son, he's passed out obviously.
JoeRogansBEARD 15
I'd wake his ass up to make him clean it.
WritingWrongs 8
Yeah right. Wake him yo with the hose and make him clean it.
WritingWrongs 8
Ack... First of all, "wake him up**" secondly I should have read the replies before I posted a comment, sorry, didn't copy off y'all
LiterOfCola 16
People need to stop commenting things like "Awww :( so sorry, hope your day gets better!!!!" So lame
little_one 20
I hope this was on the driveway because Old' mister hose can do the trick. Perk of puking outside.
trollcrusher 17
He didn't do much sipping... He guzzled.
peachesncreem 21
At least he still had his underwear?
gc327072 31
True, walking through the street nude is actually grounds for a sex offender charge. OP, your son dodged a bullet.
enormouselephant 15
I would like to know where someone gets pink cowboy boots in the middle of the night from...
Warden1986 16
#174 There's some questions, you just do not ask. This is one of them. Although I'm sure there's got to be a good story behind it.
themostfab 13
#174, don't end a sentence with a preposition
parkwaydrive7 9
Sounds like he had a good night
samasara 20
Hell yes.
GamerGoldfish 7
I'm proud of him.
wolfhausen 7
1. He knows how to go out with a bang, 2. He made it home in that condition.
spikey818 9
Seems normal