Today, I discovered that last night, my son snuck downstairs at 3am, drank two glasses of my very expensive wine, threw up on his bed, and then slept in his own vomit. My son is 14. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I came home to find my 14-year-old son attempting to get drunk off aftershave. FML
Today, against my wishes, my son snuck out of my house to go partying. When he came home, I called him in so I could properly discipline him. While I was talking, he staggered to our fish tank, pulled open the lid, and vomited straight into it. FML
Today, I found out that my 16-year-old son bought a huge amount of grape juice, because he thought he could store it under his bed and wait for it to turn to wine. FML
Today, as I was about to leave for work, my 16-year-old son stumbled home in nothing but his underwear and pink cowboy boots. He threw his hands in the air, yelled, "BOTTLE SIP BOTTLE GUZZLE," promptly threw up and passed out in it. FML
Today, as I was getting ready for work, I heard a noise almost like someone was puking all over the bathroom floor. When I went to check, my 14-year-old son was puking all over the bathroom floor. The toilet, however, was pristine. FML
Today, I came home from work, only to find the babysitter passed out on the couch with a bottle of Jack Daniel's. At some point, it seems my son had taken the liberty of peeing on her while she slept. FML
Today, I woke up to the sound of birds chirping, had a wonderful cup of coffee, and found my son throwing up rubbing alcohol in the bathroom. FML
Today, after a short trip out of town, I came back late at night to the yard clean, the house swept and mopped, all the laundry done, and my son asleep. I was thrilled with my boyfriend, until I found him passed out, covered in spilled beer and piss. FML
Today, while searching for the pungent odor that has been lingering in my son's bedroom, I discovered various types of juice my son has been "storing" to make wine. FML
Today, I found out my son kept quiet about having head lice for a week. He's 14. FML
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Top comments
suoerkewl 15
Your son seems like a moron.
vol4life 6
He needs to learn to hold his alcohol better.
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Comments (252)
EmaK13 2
Sounds to me like he was having a hard time going to sleep, and therefore you should ask if something happened at school. Honestly, because it was at 3 in the morning, and he wasn't doing it to impress anyone, I think that was his form of two sleeping pills. I think this because my brother does the same thing, but he's 28. Please, talk to your son, and maybe just give him a Tylenol PM.
murdersquirrel 15
You're an idiot for arguing against the safe storage if a deadly weapon, especially with children in the home. Kids do dangerous things despite warning sometimes.
RocRach 5
Wow, I think your son is simple and this is coming from a 16 year old...
tildoorf84 7
lock that shit up
cybermolly10 7
Two glasses of wine might be enough to get a 14 year old to throw up in his bed, but I don't think it would be enough to make him think sleeping in his vomit was fine. I'll bet he was already drunk before he got to your wine.
lemonarm 18
I'd bet I could do worse than that.
lolmigosh 15
I moderated this one!
mixzies 6
Only 2 glasses?
Jasonf6 0
Your son is an idiot.
golfpro274 8
Who throws up after only two glasses?