Today, I discovered that last night, my son snuck downstairs at 3am, drank two glasses of my very expensive wine, threw up on his bed, and then slept in his own vomit. My son is 14. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I came home to find my 14-year-old son attempting to get drunk off aftershave. FML
Today, against my wishes, my son snuck out of my house to go partying. When he came home, I called him in so I could properly discipline him. While I was talking, he staggered to our fish tank, pulled open the lid, and vomited straight into it. FML
Today, I found out that my 16-year-old son bought a huge amount of grape juice, because he thought he could store it under his bed and wait for it to turn to wine. FML
Today, as I was about to leave for work, my 16-year-old son stumbled home in nothing but his underwear and pink cowboy boots. He threw his hands in the air, yelled, "BOTTLE SIP BOTTLE GUZZLE," promptly threw up and passed out in it. FML
Today, as I was getting ready for work, I heard a noise almost like someone was puking all over the bathroom floor. When I went to check, my 14-year-old son was puking all over the bathroom floor. The toilet, however, was pristine. FML
Today, I came home from work, only to find the babysitter passed out on the couch with a bottle of Jack Daniel's. At some point, it seems my son had taken the liberty of peeing on her while she slept. FML
Today, I woke up to the sound of birds chirping, had a wonderful cup of coffee, and found my son throwing up rubbing alcohol in the bathroom. FML
Today, after a short trip out of town, I came back late at night to the yard clean, the house swept and mopped, all the laundry done, and my son asleep. I was thrilled with my boyfriend, until I found him passed out, covered in spilled beer and piss. FML
Today, while searching for the pungent odor that has been lingering in my son's bedroom, I discovered various types of juice my son has been "storing" to make wine. FML
Today, I found out my son kept quiet about having head lice for a week. He's 14. FML
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Top comments
suoerkewl 15
Your son seems like a moron.
vol4life 6
He needs to learn to hold his alcohol better.
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Comments (252)
ben10jammin 3
Sounds like me when I was younger ????
metalwolf 17
Exactly, that is my argument against gun safes as well. If the kid decides not to listen, i think funeral costs might have gone down.
xgetxbentx 13
Sounds like the average 14 year old, well other than that he chose wine lol. Sounds like its time to talk to him about alcohol usage. You can't stop him from drinking, he'll find a way to do it. I think how my mom approached it with me when I first got curious about it worked well. I was probably 14 as well, she'd let me have a glass wine or a wine cooler at home (which in my state it's legal for a minor to drink in their own house as long as their legal guardian/parent is at home and aware of it. Then from there she explained to me that she knew I'd drink if I wanted to and even though she didn't like the idea, as long as I was responsible (called if I needed to come home, didn't lie about it, and didn't ride with anyone who was drunk) I wouldn't be in much trouble. No sympathy for puking or being hungover, but she wouldn't ground me. As I got older (I'm now 20) she taught me tips and tricks to maintain a nice buzz and not over do it, how to avoid hangovers, and all that stuff. Since we had an open line of communication I didn't have to try and hide things from her and my party girl stage was extremely short lived. I don't think I even drink once a month these days, by choice. So even if you despise the idea, it's really important for him to know that he CAN talk to you without getting in a shit ton of trouble. Being able to call my mom and get out of bad situations saved my ass on multiple occasions.
skristen69 0
It won't let me give it a thumbs up :p so thumbs up!
alrightmylover 5
hahaha ah bless he's only experimenting. That's why parents should always leave their kids have a sip of whatever they're drinking because then alcohol doesn't seem like such a big deal, and they won't sneak around trying to drink more than they can handle. I was always allowed a sip and I now have a really healthy attitude towards drink.
pexy_fml 16
Finally I prove of how good you raised him
skristen69 0
He probably doesn't realize that he did this. Sleep walking is becoming very common. Shouldn't leave ur wine where children can easily access it in the first place. Plus children experiment, I'm sure just like u did when u were his age. If he does have acknowledgement of drinking ur wine then punish him for getting into it if u feel necessary, but u did leave him full access to it.
icallbullshit 3
Tell his dad, I'm sure he won't want to touch alcohol after he gets his backside whooped!
FatTony2010 4
******* lightweight! He can't even take some grape juice!
wellthatsukx 0
As punishment, he should have to drink an entire 12-pack of the cheapest, nastiest beer you can find. The next morning, wake him with an airhorn, blast bagpipe music, and take him to a racetrack, or some place LOUD.
tanay97 8
I'm 14 too but I know better.