Today, as I was getting ready for work, I heard a noise almost like someone was puking all over the bathroom floor. When I went to check, my 14-year-old son was puking all over the bathroom floor. The toilet, however, was pristine. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I'd just finished cleaning the bathrooms at work when I saw a young boy go in. Of course, I thought nothing of it until I had to use the bathroom myself ten minutes later. The kid had taken a shit and missed the toilet completely. FML
Today, at the small daycare I run, I turned around to put something away. I heard a splashing sound and then saw one of my kids vomiting. He puked several times, and managed to hit the only rug in the entire house. FML
Today, while my husband and I are both stuck in the bathroom from food poisoning, our 3-year-old son is taking advantage of his freedom. All I can hear is banging noises and wild laughter. I'm afraid to leave the bathroom. FML
Today, I was in the toilet when somebody started banging on the door loudly. I panicked and immediately cleaned my self and opened the door. As I opened the door, my brother vomited all over me. FML
Today, I discovered that last night, my son snuck downstairs at 3am, drank two glasses of my very expensive wine, threw up on his bed, and then slept in his own vomit. My son is 14. FML
Today, a mother and son were in my office. The kid wasn't feeling well and threw up. Mom covered his mouth with her hand, creating a vomit nozzle and covering me in puke. She yelled that I deserved to be sprayed on because I was not quick enough in getting a bucket for her son. FML
Today, I cleaned my bathroom from top to bottom. Tonight, my husband threw up all over the bathroom. He actually cleaned it up himself, including the toilet. I went to use the toilet, put down the seat and sat down. Guess which part of the toilet he DIDN'T clean. FML
Today, I vomited so hard into the toilet that the water splashed back into my face. I instinctually moved away only to finish puking on the floor. FML
Today, at work, a kid rushed into the bathroom to vomit. Understandable, except he threw up into the sinks. Sinks plural, whose drain holes are so small that only liquid can really pass through. Guess who had to clean up vomit chunks. FML
Today, after feeling sick all day at work, my shift was about to end. Twenty minutes before I was able to clock out, some kid puked all over herself in the playground. FML
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Top comments
samlovesham1234 9
Maybe he didn't make it in time? That does happen.
HylianBadger 21
I'd hate to see how bad he aims when he pees.
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Comments (36)
HylianBadger 21
I'd hate to see how bad he aims when he pees.
idfwuidk 12
It's a hot mess
samlovesham1234 9
Maybe he didn't make it in time? That does happen.
deathstroke990 22
it doesn't really matter the age, when someone's sick the vomit doesn't always listen
XxPojoxX 17
What a shitty situation. Wrong one? I'll walk myself out
freddygasman 18
be careful not to slip on the wet tile
zaidthunder1 27
Better Run.
alexeismommy 5
oh poor boy. as a mommy i feel so bad for your son. i hate it when my son is sick. what a horrible way for him to start summer vacation. :(
socialproduct 19
I've seen situations where both the toilet and the floor are a disaster in the aftermath. At least he chose one and committed to it.
khiiirsty 14
Me too. One time, my friend came over off the *****. What started off as a study night before finals, ended with him puking all over the bathroom floor, toilet, and shower. Considering I had an exam early that morning, I was pissed at the mess. He ended up being okay after he sobered up though, which is most important.
OlRed 28
It's either alcohol poisoning or a stomach flu. Previous OP went with the stomachache, I wonder what your kid will go with?
Danne696 14
Well, there can be 100 different reasons for vomiting so making that assumption seems a bit narrow-minded.
Jumbled_Mess 7
*Woosh* Hey OP, did you give your son a suppository yet?
OlRed 28
@16 It's a comment connecting and earlier FML... And it's an indirect way of asking op: why the kid was throwing up? Op can now respond by laughing and saying "no it's neither, he just didn't want to go to school." (because you can bet that was only one of the reasons I threw up around that age.) @17 we should start a chant: suppository! Suppository!
blazingshot147 19
Look you have to forgive him. Us men struggle a little bit to aim in the mornings. Piss or vomit both come out the front... Just a bit of a height diffrence though.
chuka81 27
Speak for yourself man. When I piss or vomit, my aim is impeccable. Defecating however presents the problem, how can you aim correctly with your back at the target?
WinterChild 20
That's what happens when you keep making him put the toilet seat down. When you have to puke you have to puke.