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hjkashld United States 🌶️ Spicy

Today, I faked back pain to get out of sex with my wife. FML

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Halloween

A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.

Same thing different taste

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Top comments

kzxvazure 0

just say no....

HSOMGF 5

That back pain is probably related to your lack of spine. And really, **** HER life. She deserves better.

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Comments (207)

kzxvazure 0

just say no....

Razzle_Dazzle_5 11

I haven't heard of any guy who's ever turned down sex. Guys aren't allowed to say no.

boating_guy 33

dude what the hell kinda bubble do you live in? AIDS, ugliness, not in the mood, or whtever else it may be...go try living in the real world

Razzle_Dazzle_5 11

I mean with your wife

happle 21

Seriously, just tell her the truth. If she can't understand that you don't always want to have sex, you need her to get a reality check. I mean, she's had to have refused sex at least once before, right?

kyarush 10

Sex with my wife is perfect... I would never say no

DWeth 0

I was really tired tonight... Still had sex with my fiancé. Never know when it's gonna be your last time. Can't say no

mbusey 20

#1 - is that a Paget Brewster reference?

Colonel_Lexi 18

Some of these comments are so biased, if OP's wife were faking a headache half of these comments wouldn't be here.

commonlogicz42 6

Thats kinda odd, I've never turned down sex with your wife.

kzxvazure 0

what makes you people who say men can't turn down sex even think of that? there are billions of men in the world.....not everyone is the same

hawaiianfire 0

There are billions of people in this world, but only few are true MEN.

doctorhook86 25

135: No such thing; "real men" are a myth invented to sell cigarettes and trucks.

deransc 19

Yeah it is!

LucaCoffey 6

You'd have sex with his wife? Cool.

GreekYogurt 26

It's about sex drive. Some just don't have it

Razzle_Dazzle_5 11

Is she that ugly?

ydi_4_suking 20

Just a straight boner killer

Nanobytez 5

Looks like a double bagger.

btnhdude 0

It can't be that, she maybe just smells a little? Or he just is barely ever in the mood.

Vanilla1Thrilla 0

Paper or plastic?

VictoriaSchultz 8

He married her..

mybright 8

My guy friends have 2 classic saying when it comes to sex & ugly broads, first 'beauty is only a light switch away' and second 'it's all the same face down in the pillow' :D

Yodaevil 4

Dimmer switch works as mood lighting as long as they are only butta. If they are fat, no lack of light or pillow will help his wood

Crystal55621 19

You profile picture goes perfectly with your comment.

RavenRiley007 4

A bit ironic since you're the backstabber!

DMarie217 0

Just tell her obviously there's something holding you back right?!

lackingapathy 0

"Maybe it's cause I'm too tired, or maybe it's cause the dogs watching, or maybe it's something I ate. Maybe it's the economy, or maybe it's something else..."

poisonwolf 6

He's probably cheating on her.

DMarie217 0

It's just when it comes to your relationship you should always be honest. Well you should always be honest anyways...

guitarbeast 22

Wow, not many guys would do that, is she really that bad?

yankfan89 27

Seriously normally you read FML's about girls making up excuses to get out of sex. And OP's wife might not be bad at sex, he may not be in the mood (hey it happens to guys too).

DjeePee 25

Euhm, I actually think that many guys sometimes (want to) search an good excuse to avoid sex - even if their partner is the ultimate sex god. You can't always be in the mood, can you? But It's simply not-done for a guy to talk about this with strangers, since men are still supposed to be addicted to sex.

lolfood 24

Why would you do such a thing!?!?

Razzle_Dazzle_5 11

5 I have two plausible scenarios why OP could have. 1 OPs wife had just furiously farted in his face. 2 OP was abducted by aliens that removed his reproductive system and replaced it with a sock.

Argumental_Rhino 8

20- your second plausibility is creative and funny as ****.

retardslo 0

You should try anal. Throw a change up.

pandm101 0

Why is this downvoted? Seems like a good idea to me.

happle 21

Because OP didn't want to have sex. Anal sex is sex, which OP did not want at the moment.

katielil 1

I hate anal it hurts and has no pleasure whatsoever!

MrTittySprinkles 7

Anal is like spinach. If you were forcefed it as a child you probably won't like it as an adult.

happle 21

73- What the heck, man? D:

Spanik 10

73- that is so wrong and so effing funny at the same time!

BloodMonger13 9

#60 your doing it wrong...

karkid619 8

73- Daniel tosh.

colonel2013 2

Best reply ever!

Boomshadow 3

I didn't.

coo24 0

Well played, sir

winning11 0

That's awesome.. Lol so well played.

TheThree 0

I guess OP's wife is happy about it too; otherwise she would've had some REAL back pains.

Annis_x3 7

Why would OP's wife get back pain?

jayyguns 3

I think he means that OP would have "broken her back" and then she would have real back pains, unlike the fake pain OP is faking.

stormer461 13

Or you could be honest with her? If she's your wife I'm sure she'd understand.

Calyx_fml 22

Yeah, tell her that you find her physically repugnant. That will go over well.

HSOMGF 5

That back pain is probably related to your lack of spine. And really, **** HER life. She deserves better.

trollfaced 2

Maybe she does, she might deserve allow of these people thumbing op down for turning down sex

SkoomaKi 28

11 - **** HER life?! I'm pretty sure OP's wife has come up with an infinite number of excuses for not having sex! But this one time the man does it, he's blamed and she gets the pity...

ladyLALAA 29

I don't know why people aren't more honest when it comes to sex, that's how you make that part of your life healthy! I'd rather my partner told him he didn't feel up to it then have lousy sex!

mufc4everch 2

God I hate sexist bitches like you.

Gunnarr 12

134 - Here here..

twisted_cherub 14

SkoomaKi, and everyone else who keeps saying it, not all women make up excuses not to have sex. I've never made up an excuse. I don't think...no, I've never even turned my boyfriend down. I once fell asleep while giving him a handy--didn't have to tell him how exhausted I was, and he understood. But turn sex down just because? Never. Only bitches do that (for power, mostly). I know every woman who's done it will thumb me down and argue now. Oh, well.

Mons_fml 27

How th'**** can you have 77 thumbs up? He has no spine because he doesn't feel like banging his wife all the time? Well then theres something seriously wrong with all the girls in the world isn't that right? **** you and your big nose.

Supahnova 14

#11, you are officially in no position to ever reject anyone for sex. Ever. If that's the attitude you're taking on a guy who was likely not in the mood to pleasure his wife. When people like you grow up, you'll realize that this type of shit happens; no one can simply be in the mood all the time, every single waking day.

Jaxx66 21

155, I don't even know how you got 1 thumbs up for that comment. She meant that he had no spine for taking the pussy way out and lying his ass off instead of manning up and telling the truth. And the spineless comment would apply to both genders that don't have one enough to face up to their partner and tell the truth.

TColby 12

#11- How can you possibly know that his wife deserves better? You didn't learn a single thing from OP's post that can make you believe his wife is a decent human being, for all you know she could be beating/abusing him on a regular basis.