Today, I discovered that last night, my son snuck downstairs at 3am, drank two glasses of my very expensive wine, threw up on his bed, and then slept in his own vomit. My son is 14. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I came home to find my 14-year-old son attempting to get drunk off aftershave. FML
Today, against my wishes, my son snuck out of my house to go partying. When he came home, I called him in so I could properly discipline him. While I was talking, he staggered to our fish tank, pulled open the lid, and vomited straight into it. FML
Today, I found out that my 16-year-old son bought a huge amount of grape juice, because he thought he could store it under his bed and wait for it to turn to wine. FML
Today, as I was about to leave for work, my 16-year-old son stumbled home in nothing but his underwear and pink cowboy boots. He threw his hands in the air, yelled, "BOTTLE SIP BOTTLE GUZZLE," promptly threw up and passed out in it. FML
Today, as I was getting ready for work, I heard a noise almost like someone was puking all over the bathroom floor. When I went to check, my 14-year-old son was puking all over the bathroom floor. The toilet, however, was pristine. FML
Today, I came home from work, only to find the babysitter passed out on the couch with a bottle of Jack Daniel's. At some point, it seems my son had taken the liberty of peeing on her while she slept. FML
Today, I woke up to the sound of birds chirping, had a wonderful cup of coffee, and found my son throwing up rubbing alcohol in the bathroom. FML
Today, after a short trip out of town, I came back late at night to the yard clean, the house swept and mopped, all the laundry done, and my son asleep. I was thrilled with my boyfriend, until I found him passed out, covered in spilled beer and piss. FML
Today, while searching for the pungent odor that has been lingering in my son's bedroom, I discovered various types of juice my son has been "storing" to make wine. FML
Today, I found out my son kept quiet about having head lice for a week. He's 14. FML
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Top comments
suoerkewl 15
Your son seems like a moron.
vol4life 6
He needs to learn to hold his alcohol better.
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Comments (252)
ITS_SNORLAX 4
Apparently bacon helps with hangovers so go give him bacon tmmr
kalbrek009 20
Time to make him wash all his own bed stuff & pay you back for the wine, on the other hand....WTH are you thinking, by leaving alcohol where a CHILD can get to it in the 1st place...I say FYL & YDI & (FHL for having such a irresponsible parent)
bizarre_ftw 22
Well at least you can find comfort in the fact that did apparently didn't have any braincells to kill with the alcohol
liveeee 2
You should have a talk with your son and see if something is going on with him or if he just wanted to drink
SomeAnonymousBro 4
I'm 14 and don't really see a problem with that..well except for the vomit part..yeah this will probably get thumbs down
peaceiscool11 5
You should probably be disciplining him instead of writing about it on fmylife.com
jasonsexcema 3
yeah because the three seconds it took her to write this is REALLY AFFECTING HIS POOR TEENAGE BRAIN give it a rest...
lulubellx2 0
What a lightwate drinker
octopussperm125 18
I was gettin arrested at 13. Ur kid barely did anything wrong. Think about wat u did as a kid.
jamis666 1
Snuck is not a word!!!!!!
happysandwich 0
Lightweight