Today, while searching for the pungent odor that has been lingering in my son's bedroom, I discovered various types of juice my son has been "storing" to make wine. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I found out that my 16-year-old son bought a huge amount of grape juice, because he thought he could store it under his bed and wait for it to turn to wine. FML
Today, I finally found where the awful lingering stench in my house was coming from. My son thought it would be funny to piss in the baby's humidifier. He's 16. FML
Today, I was wondering why my home smelled so weird, until I found out that my 4 year old son had been secretly scattering around food he didn't like to eat throughout the house. How did I find out? No one else in this family leaves half eaten spinach all over my underwear drawer. FML
Today, I came home to find my 14-year-old son attempting to get drunk off aftershave. FML
Today, I discovered that last night, my son snuck downstairs at 3am, drank two glasses of my very expensive wine, threw up on his bed, and then slept in his own vomit. My son is 14. FML
Today, I poured out a glass of apple juice to drink. I threw out a beer can from earlier, and my mom thought I was drinking alcohol, not juice. She scolded me, until I made her physically taste the juice. FML
Today, I noticed that my 80-year-old mother has gone through 50+ bottles of my home-made wine. She only moved in with me a month ago. And now I have no wine. FML
Today, I went into my parents room to empty their wastebasket. Next to it and around their bed, I found tissues that were soaked in an unknown sticky substance. I had to pick them up. FML
Today, I walked in on my son's new habit. Sticking his finger up his ass, farting on it, and smelling it. Apparently, the scent is the purest then. FML
Today, I walked in on my son holding a lighter to the end of a pen and sniffing the fumes. Apparently he thought it would get him high. FML
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Top comments
xoCOURTNIEox 0
wow cool son you got there :)
urdirtyolduncle 15
good man!
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Comments (212)
xoCOURTNIEox 0
wow cool son you got there :)
tulsafml 0
Put some clothes on b4 the creepers arrive. Your gonna get attacked by them creepz.
prince122 0
oh shit the creepers here agghhhhh!!! KABBLLLOOOMMMMM!!!! haha another smart minecraft joke
joe_says_so 0
hey cutie. the creeper has arrived.
Melvar_10 3
^winning
urdirtyolduncle 15
hehehe.. well? here I am : n)
tulsafml 0
Damn it! too late! :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D
Melvar_10 3
^no, u r not creeper
urdirtyolduncle 15
it's ok, there's room for plenty of creepers herr
aardvarkish 17
Why do you say "Creeper" like it's a bad thing?
mintcar 10
LOL at 61. Haha.
xoCOURTNIEox 0
hey there creepers !! & it's a tank top, I think I'll be fine
suppepz 0
yeah totally! he's awesome that he knows how to do that, I might try it!
19fml18 0
#2 dayumm girl. you like mike n ikes?
tulsafml 0
^ ****. you. stop. creeping. pretty. girlz.
j_cat187 20
the kool kids make huch
Specialized_Bike 0
^ she is a very pretty girl!
kwolf96 0
ur hot
streetsweepr 0
happy 1 week till your birthday lets have some wine cuz your only 10 days older than me
cornedbeef2016 5
she raised him
MissBunny25 0
188 I hope you don't mind me asking..... whatchew talkin bout, Willis?
anonymous595 0
u look like dat one of us shameless!!:-o haa:-)
suppepz 0
yeah I'm going to try it, Abd then I'm going to give some to my boyfriend, befor having sex with him
the_ace1337 0
He's not the Jenkem type?
nommnom_fml 0
he's 10 :) I moderated the full version of this.
Bullpine 11
Hm maybe he'd rather get drunk than high off his own crap lol
MissMittens 0
Today, while searching for the pungent odor that has been lingering in my son's bedroom, I discovered the "special,secret place" that my 3 year old daughter had pooped. FML
shakeTHEworld 12
Haha, I thought that was the FML at first too!
talldude4u 3
Future drunk, stop the kid OP :)
countryboyj17 0
I don't think the op even considered that one! -_-
head2133 12
haha
urdirtyolduncle 15
good man!
urdirtyolduncle 15
a good man!
Naomiiiii 0
I just modded this FML, the original one said "my ten year old son," what a cool kid!
iBanana 17
Lmao. Smart kid, he'll make good money in the future.
tulsafml 0
YDI for being a bitch about your genius son!
crabbyabby718 0
wow he's already an alcoholic..... what a bright future
mintcar 10
How is OP being a bitch?
tulsafml 0
I'm a dog. I know what a bitch is.
ericownz101 0
AA is for quitters
mintcar 10
I asked HOW. I'd hardly call that thing a dog. -_-
C6Racer 0
So, you're the bitch.
tulsafml 0
Damn it I'm a male! Bitch!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! !! !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
C6Racer 0
@49
onikage_666 0
Just because he drinks dosen't necissarily make him an alcoholic.
mintcar 10
Necessarily. *
innavoiG 9
I'd be proud.
pimplayer 0
lemme guess it looks like mayo
This2Rudy 7
when you mod somthing does yes mean show it and no mean not? or vice-versa
SirEBC 7
94, when you vote yes, it means "Yes, don't show it."
Sirin_fml 47
Yes means you think we should publish it, and No means you think it's shit. If I may be so bold, I strongly recommend voting No on sirEBC's FMLs whenever you see them.
impregnator 0
vote yes on sirEBC always.
This2Rudy 7
thank you sirin I'm amazed, I just made an account and already got such a high up person as yourself to comment on it
Jizwold 0
I'm twelve wat is this?
nhlnba2 6
He's gonna make a fortune some day.
KingDingALing 9
Is that the same reason why all of my FMLs have been rejected?! You told everyone to press "No" for them?! All 48 of them?! Goddammit...
tulsafml 0
I love y'all
This2Rudy 7
it's cool, that's what it is
This2Rudy 7
*that comment was meant for comment 115
jellybeans4833 7
yea there on a roll... atleast other peoples lives might be worse than yours ^_^
nhlnba2 6
126 I don't vote, but if I did I'd probably just say yes to yours. Ignore the haters! Lol the first comment I ever made got moderated so I know how you feel.
eilonwylovegood 8
My best friend's name is Sirin :)
hannah1203 2
What did you expect, you live in Wyoming..nothing else to do there except pow-wow with the Indians!
janix_fml 0
haha! i did that to grape juice when i was 6 or 7 :)
Nikkon234 2
at least he's not going through your liquor cabinet.
suchaprettygirl 4
i agree. let him be dumb cuz it won't get him any place. keep him outta the real trouble. :)
tulsafml 0
wine
Monjara 4
Worst advice I have ever heard.
head2133 12
perhaps OP doesn't have a liquor cabinet
TigersLoveCinnam 0
Wonder if there's fruit flies kicking around too, those things are annoying. Would have been funny if he had successfully made some sort of moonshine though!
tulsafml 0
Wine.
FFAffliction 0
donkey.
ieatcats 0
wine not liquor FAIL
commentrawr 0
win ^
shulgafish 0
lose^
tulsafml 0
^ wine
netherflame 0
^ word
MissBunny25 0
^sentence
Ratdaddy94 0
Moonshine is made with corn.
PassTheDutch 0
ah so that's how you make wine. imma start now. lol. fyl. I guess
YourWetDream 0
Bahaha that's amazing :] kudos to your son
kwolf96 0
hi
MackofSimi 0
Text me!!!
sailorzoe 14
Jerry! Jerry!
ILoveEggnog 7
Jerry? What the heck?
nikki9tails 3
beautiful tattoos sailor
MrCoolPants 7
don't worry about it your son obviously has TIGER BLOOD lol
Melvar_10 3
your loosing
jewfro311 0
That was bad.
tulsafml 0
I loved it. you 2 are just ******
chickie12345 0
teelll em dooggie!
sunnysurfchick 0
TIGERBLOOD is stupid and so is anyone that quotes Charlie "the looser" Sheen!