Today, I discovered that last night, my son snuck downstairs at 3am, drank two glasses of my very expensive wine, threw up on his bed, and then slept in his own vomit. My son is 14. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I came home to find my 14-year-old son attempting to get drunk off aftershave. FML
Today, against my wishes, my son snuck out of my house to go partying. When he came home, I called him in so I could properly discipline him. While I was talking, he staggered to our fish tank, pulled open the lid, and vomited straight into it. FML
Today, I found out that my 16-year-old son bought a huge amount of grape juice, because he thought he could store it under his bed and wait for it to turn to wine. FML
Today, as I was about to leave for work, my 16-year-old son stumbled home in nothing but his underwear and pink cowboy boots. He threw his hands in the air, yelled, "BOTTLE SIP BOTTLE GUZZLE," promptly threw up and passed out in it. FML
Today, as I was getting ready for work, I heard a noise almost like someone was puking all over the bathroom floor. When I went to check, my 14-year-old son was puking all over the bathroom floor. The toilet, however, was pristine. FML
Today, I came home from work, only to find the babysitter passed out on the couch with a bottle of Jack Daniel's. At some point, it seems my son had taken the liberty of peeing on her while she slept. FML
Today, I woke up to the sound of birds chirping, had a wonderful cup of coffee, and found my son throwing up rubbing alcohol in the bathroom. FML
Today, after a short trip out of town, I came back late at night to the yard clean, the house swept and mopped, all the laundry done, and my son asleep. I was thrilled with my boyfriend, until I found him passed out, covered in spilled beer and piss. FML
Today, while searching for the pungent odor that has been lingering in my son's bedroom, I discovered various types of juice my son has been "storing" to make wine. FML
Today, I found out my son kept quiet about having head lice for a week. He's 14. FML
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Top comments
suoerkewl 15
Your son seems like a moron.
vol4life 6
He needs to learn to hold his alcohol better.
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Comments (252)
unoffensivename 0
6 (In alcohol company executive voice) There's no such thing
SadGirl18 16
That's the problem with this generation. Kids want to grow up too fast. And it makes me embarrassed. I mean, what's so great about being an adult? I wish I was little again. I wish I didn't know half the things I do now. They'll all just understand when they're older and say "damn."
jerseyboy732 16
I don't see a need to punish him. I think he learned his lesson
bloodycisco 0
dame right you tell her
matt98_fml 13
I'm a 14 year old guy and I'm not that stupid to do that.
Pandacupcakelove 26
Same here! I'm a fourteen year old girl, I've had one sip of champagne, I didn't even like the taste, so why would I drink it? X) And I hate whenpeople say "kids these days", as if we're all like that! I'm not!
dixiefoxx 22
Yeah, I'm a 15 year old girl, I tried champagne once at a wedding and I really liked it, but I'd never think of getting drunk, when I was 14 drinking didn't even cross my mind
matt98_fml 13
I've never even sipped any alcoholic beverage before.. Lol
watsonpsykosis 10
Teenagers WILL do stupid things like that. That is why parents need to lock up their liquor.
fuckmebutdontfml 16
is that to young for AA?
Calyx_fml 22
He's a future alcoholic, if not already.
yankfan89 27
Or OP can make a lot of noise in the event OP's son has a hangover, that will teach him to drink. Also by a locked liquor cabinet.
corleon198425 22
We use to do that in the 90s as kids and teens of course we had better common sense back then :p