Today, what started as a fun family Easter egg hunt turned within minutes into my mother-in-law's big chance to be a dramatic cow by screaming at my 5 and 7-year-old daughters for participating in a "vile pagan ritual" and saying that we're all going to hell. They're still bawling. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my mom visited, and I left her for a few minutes while I used the bathroom. While I was stuck taking a crap, she went on one of her religious rants, telling my children that Easter was off this year because their precious "pagan" Easter Bunny had been murdered. FML
Today, my husband and I hosted Easter dinner. Since I was in my own home, I breastfed without a cover. My sister-in-law stormed out in a rage, screaming that I was being obscene, and equated it to shooting heroin in front of her kids. Happy Easter indeed. FML
Today, I was overseeing a nativity play rehearsal. Things went fairly well, until a boy's grandma stormed in, ranting that Christmas is a "Pagan abomination", and shouting for him and his mom to leave with her. Half the kids were left in tears, and we had to cancel the rehearsal. FML
Today, I had an Easter Egg Hunt in my backyard for my kids. When they collected all the eggs, they opened them and to their dismay there was no candy inside. When I bought them, I thought they already came with candy. It’s been two hours and my kids won’t stop crying. FML
Today, during a family road trip, my mom decided to spring a surprise conversion on us. This included screaming bible verses, blasting crazy gospel music and sobbing that we needed to repent before we’re all condemned to hell for eternity. She did this for 4 hours straight. FML
Today, I was babysitting, and after the kids fell asleep I started hiding the Easter candy. They woke up when I was half-done, and it didn't take them long to figure out what was going on. They won't stop crying, and every time I go near them, they scream "LIAR!" FML
Today, my mother came over to visit, and my kids started excitedly telling her Christmas is coming soon. She freaked out, saying Christmas is a "Satanic holiday" and telling them that Santa is going to hell along with everyone who celebrates it. My children are now traumatized. FML
Today, my mother was guilting my wife and I for freezing embryos as a delay tactic to deny her grandchildren. Fed up, I told her, "Why don't you throw in a 'You'll miss me when I'm dead' to finish this guilt trip?" Now, she's crying and my father wants to murder me. FML
Today, I came home to my mother, wife, sister, and certain family members cussing me out. My daughter and niece told them that I took them to visit and pray at The Church of Satan. Girls! It's The Church of Saint Anne! FML
Today, my kids are at the age where they no longer want to go to church, and if I take them anyway, they misbehave on purpose to embarrass me. I don’t even want to go, my wife is the religious one, but if I refuse to go she’ll see to it I get hell on earth daily. FML
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Top comments
Brenna19 5
I would have slapped her into eternity!
Ziggy122 15
Ugh. The amount of people that still think like a 16th century Puritan...
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Comments (133)
Brenna19 5
I would have slapped her into eternity!
emala1096 17
Or push her into a black hole.
chell1894 13
My friends grandparents freaked out because he had a Harry potter blanket when he slept there once. They swore it was pagan and worshipping the devil.. Even though Christianity is a derived from paganism.. Crazy people.
graffitied_love 20
I wonder if this woman was my neighbor. She told my daughter she would go to Hell for dressing up on Halloween
j_cat187 20
Push her into the void!
expertsmilee 26
39 - Christianity is a derived from paganism? Incorrect on topic AND grammar all at the same time, that takes skill.
Soloman212 28
Yeah... It is most definitely not derived from paganism, although it did take a lot of elements from it, supposedly to make conversion easier. (Such as paintings of saints having the sun behind their head, which later developed into the halo, Christmas trees and its date, and, of course, Easter bunnies and whatnot.)
chell1894 13
Obviously a derived was a typo. But alrighty. And maybe you should research paganism and Christianity a little bit more. Just about every "tradition of celebration" is derived from paganism. And it's not off topic because easter traditions are pagan traditions.
ptoka 20
This sounds a lot like last Easter when a group of Christians leaving a church told me I was going to hell... I told them I'd see them there after they made such a judgement on me
rocketiquette 20
Well paganism is celebration of the earth and its beings, soooo... I don't see granny's issue? What a hag. And Easter eggs as well as bunnies just represent fertility within pagan rituals, but Christianity took it over and kept the bunnies and eggs. So you keep up that fertility hunt kids.
Lomus 24
Christianity is not derived from paganism. However some supposedly 'Christian' festivals were pagan ones which the Catholic church decided to use for themselves because changing the meaning and keeping the festival was easier than abolishing them and making new ones. Christianity is derived from Judaism, which in turn was again not derived from paganism. Get your facts straight before you start slagging people off.
chell1894 13
What I'm saying is that just about every Christian holiday for example Christmas and Easter derives their traditions from paganism. So yes both traditions are religious celebrators and the Christian traditions derived from the pagan traditions. Christianity is one of the newer religions compared to paganism, juidaism, Hinduism, even greek mythology. it's stolen lots of its traditions from other religions one of them being paganism. Do some research and get your facts straight bro.
lyssgross 16
* and - using all capitalized letters is not any more useful than typing it out regularly.
abbttmc 12
The ****?
dalink 24
Is this the only thing you know how to say?
EmberEyes 16
At least it describes most situations.
Hurbel684 10
Your mom-in-law could know - sounds like she was spawned from the depths of hell. Scaring kids with stories of hell is a no-no in any Holy Book. FYL!!!
ovechkinisbeast 9
......What?
Damian95 16
Mother-in-laws typically are portrayed as monsters. So I guess it makes sense.
sulitak 27
I agree. next time MIL shouldn't be invited and talk to the wife... she needs to know how that isn't acceptable
Ziggy122 15
Ugh. The amount of people that still think like a 16th century Puritan...
Dana_Scully 7
This comment just made my day :)
Sputnikspak 13
Christmas dinner is banned! It's sinful! Pubs are banned! They are sinful! The theatre is banned! It's sinful! Sports are banned! They are sinful! Make up is banned! It's sinful... Especially that eyeshadow with that top...
OptimusVader 23
Someone shouldn't have watched Sinister. Maybe the kids will turn on her and kill her?
xgetxbentx 13
I now feel like I missed something in that movie...
AKGirlinSD 20
^The plot of the movie is a sadistic creature controls the child to kill the entire family. But this FML requires the child to kill only one relative: their psycho grandmother. What could you have missed?
billyz77 24
Your icon makes me cringe every time I see it, #5. It's like a scene from my worst nightmare. I want so badly to pump just one more penny's worth of gas but if I do, I'll loose the perfect number of gallons. Why, #5, why would you put such a mean icon where people like me can see it?
Mossears133 15
Good idea, there's liitle chance SHE'S coming back in 3 days!
baileymariee 10
I don't understand why people would ever talk to kids like that. Even if she doesn't agree with Easter, she could respect people's decisions to celebrate it.
lilhellian 27
Religion is like a dick.. There is always someone that feels the need to shove it down someone elses throat..
Metallica36176 16
I agree. Its so stupid how people are so close minded. It makes me sick. You know, I'm a Christian but believe every God boils down to the same God (just different image) and was talking to a guy that said "there is only 1 true God." and starting pretty much saying all others will go to hell. People make me sick...if that is the case, that guy is going to be very lonely if he gets to heaven. Sorry it just reminded me of that. I can't stand people who aren't open to other things just because their religious base is so weak that it will crumble at the slightest temptation. Sorry xD
LaughinStock 16
There is only one true god and it's Nicolas Cage.
license2chill 5
Some people kill others and hate others over the religious beliefs, go figure.
peachykeenLNG 13
#19 - PREACH girl!! :)
interesting33 37
Thank you. I've been looking for someone with such an opinion. I mean most Christians I know - though not all - believe in Hell and that if you aren't Christian you go there. And they are very kind, generous and happy people. Very welcoming - but I find that hard to swallow. I was told the other day that God isn't pleased with someone who isn't Christian. THAT I cannot understand - even if they weren't"saved" surely He would still be happy when we do something good? :)
artyler 3
Let me guess, she is a Jehovah's Witness. My ex-wife became one after our divorce, and she tried laying that guilt trip on my daughters ever Easter, Christmas, even their birthdays.
Shrike 24
Doubt it. Jehovah's Witnesses don't believe in hell.
capslockisgood 19
25 But she sounds like enough of a psycho to not really care.
jem970 19
Wow I hope you slapped her. She can believe whatever she wants but if she screamed at my child? Oh it would be on like donkey kong! If she is such a dramatic cow why is she still allowed at family functions? I am sure your kids weren't the only ones she scream at, if they were I am so sorry. As I said I would have slapped her into next week.
ChoolyBooly 32
I completely agree. My first thought when I read this FML was: Oh f*** no. If anyone "screamed" at my daughter or any child, I wouldn't be able to restrain myself. That woman would be in a world of pain....and then banned from ever coming near my child again. Children are easily scarred and traumatized by that kind of thing. I am still angry about this.
gc327072 31
Slap her in the face with a fish.
ihaveFMLfeverr 5
Or a Bible
rg350dx 29
Cornobble that psycho!
SomeRandomGuy15 18
49- I thought I was the only one who knew what that word meant!
Metallica36176 16
This is why I never bring up religion, politics, or conspiracy theories in a conversation. Why are so many in-laws crazy? I'm not married so I've never dealt with it except when my grandmother tried to set my mom up with a guy who just came out of jail for murder while still married to my dad. Wow. What the **** is wrong with people?
jem970 19
Your grandma sounds scary... I would have her checked out by a therapist if I were you... Just saying.
Metallica36176 16
She can be an OCD crazy bitch. She's acts all sweet an innocent but I heard so many stories. She's so nosey, and she "cries" for the littlest things and never accepts something for what it is. My aunt was reading about something today that she knew was a fact and my grandmother said she was wrong. x_x I dont see her that often but when I do, I see something evil in her eyes xD hahaha Maybe I do need to get her checked out.
MidnaLink 35
Yes, yes you do!
docscientist 10
This is exactly why those things should be brought up or people get away with thinking crazy things that make you say incorrect and inappropriate things to children.