Today, while on the bus, the guy sitting beside me let out the vilest and most nauseating fart I've ever encountered, the kind that could retroactively sterilize five generations of one's ancestors with the smell alone. As I gagged, he smirked and said, "That's Taco Bell for ya." FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Same thing different taste
Today, while sitting on the bus a stranger sat next to me, farted, put his hand under his butt to smell what it was like, and then sniffed it throughout the whole ride while glancing at me. FML
Stay home
Today, I was sitting on the bus and the guy in front of me turned around and asked for a dollar. I politely said no. Now he won’t stop farting. I literally hate leaving my house anymore. FML
Today, while in line at my local bakery, an old man passed wind in front of me. The smell was like nothing I've ever experienced before. I managed to withstand it, but the child behind me could not, and spewed orange vomit all over my back. FML
Today, on the bus, a large smelly man was sat next to me, pushing me against the divider and sliding into me on every turn. When he got up for his stop, his pants had loosened and his bare ass was staring me in the face. FML
Stealth dog
Today, while I was sitting in a waiting room to be seen, my service dog (who was tucked under the bench I was sitting) let out the most vile, silent but deadly fart. The person near me retched and heaved, and I got death glares while someone sprayed their old lady perfume to mask the smell. FML
He who smelled it…
Today, my boss let me sit in on a board meeting. It was awesome until the guy next to me let out a vile fart, then looked at me in disgust, causing the others to look at me in disgust too. When I told my boss what really happened, he told me to grow up and stop blaming the other guy. FML
Today, I was in the elevator with my boss when I accidentally let rip the vilest, most horrifying fart of my life as we left the first floor. We stood in silence as the elevator slowly ascended to the 21st floor, leaving us to marinate in the fumes. FML
Today, I was on the bus heading home from school, when I noticed a ridiculously hot girl near me, checking me out. I was about to say something charmingly funny when I suddenly got a whiff of onions. Turns out she had turned around simply to catch the essence of her own fart. FML
Perfume Allergy Man strikes again!
Today, a woman got on the bus wearing extremely strong perfume and sat in the seat in front of me. The gentleman I was sitting next to began violently sneezing, so much so that he eventually sneeze-vomited all over my lap and backpack. FML
Today, I took a 40 minute bus ride home from work. The first 20 minutes were spent listening to the drunk man behind me moan uncontrollably and belch. The last 20 minutes were spent trying to ignore the vomit he left on my back as he got up to leave. FML
Top comments
DawnShadow_fml 5
I love this wording.
waterkins 7
Should have puked on him
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Comments (100)
UnearthlyEnemy 9
This is why I don't eat Taco Bell anymore.
dav3800 7
The taco is still worth it.
HelloSirs 14
This is why I eat Taco Bell, nothing welcomes final exams better than everyone sitting there in discomfort as the methane cloud seeps its way into their olfactory bulbs.
biggestfan23 11
#12 that's nice and all but you still have to take the exam lol
Satoaoi 13
exactly
lilhellian 27
18 That's is why you come prepared with nose plugs..
MrBrightside21 20
The first time I ever pooped into something besides my diaper and my toilet was 10 minutes after my first Taco Bell experience. Not even ******** you.
oj101 33
I don't eat fast foods at all anymore. No, I'm not some Yoga, hippie, nature loving guru or anything like that - but I'm now educated enough to know what goes into it, and my stomach always hurts after I've eaten McDonalds or KFC anyways. Google 'pink slime'. It's basically the grounded remants of the animal (intestines, tissue etc) mixed in with tons of chemicals.
CharresBarkrey 16
31 - Don't forget it's also bathed and soaked in ammonia. So gross. I stopped the fast food for the same reason.
PenguinBitch 44
1-I don't eat there because I found out their secret recipe. You think they'll let the chihuahua leave after all those commercials did you?
Sputnikspak 13
I don't eat at Taco Bell because I don't have a passport yet, and therefore can't enter the States anymore (we *technically* have a Taco Bell in Montreal, but by all accounts, it's even worse than the ones in the States, so I've never even been inside it), but besides that, I wouldn't, because last time we did, my boyfriend essentially dutch-ovened me while we were both asleep at the hotel. It was so bad it WOKE ME UP. I had to go and lie on the bathroom floor for almost an hour before I felt well enough to go back to bed. Nothing you are supposed to put in your body should make anything that comes out of your ass smell THAT bad. My gag reflex is kicking in at the memory. Guh.
sens3sfailing 25
When any food place has an issue with their meat being called meat, is when I cross it off places I will eat at.
randomkayx3 11
Taco Bell is gross. And makes me sit on the toilet for hours.
LuckBeNimble 19
while I respect everyone's opinions (and rarely frequent Taco Bell myself) you're all joking right? I've never had such an adverse reaction from Taco Bell. I mean, it's pretty bottom of the barrel quality-wise, but you guys are exaggerating, right? D:
FML_Whale 18
87 - If anything, they're under-exaggerating.
CharresBarkrey 16
87 - Most people have a worse reaction to Taco Bell-like food than what has been expressed. If you digest it without problems, it's most likely because your body and system is used to that type of food.
waterkins 7
Should have puked on him
rockstar362 8
Farting back is perfectly acceptable but puking is overboard? Who are you?
rockstar362 8
I can't puke or fart on command so that never would have crossed my mind
mkcontrollers 11
Well my life just ended with this story. I'm laughing so hard right now. Sorry OP FYL
GTAmax99 12
Ya this is probably the most descriptive FML...
dalink 24
I'm still trying to figure out the retroactive sterilization of one's answers bit. Oh well.
DawnShadow_fml 5
I love this wording.
m4nduh 7
Me too.. excellent use of imagery, OP. Actually, now that I think about it, I'm not sure if that's a good or bad thing..
igive 29
Yeah his description was so vivid I gagged at the thought of the foul stench.
Cbizzlez 10
Now read it in Morgan Freeman's voice
LolPieRofl 11
And thats how the flu began, I know you're thinking "But it started before this!" Time travel.
poodle_juice 17
Well what else do you expect from fake Mexican food?
eddeeezzyy 19
Explosive diarrhea
HouseElf 13
Implosive diarrhea..
Paris25_fml 11
The cat seems a bit distressed upon reading your comment. As am I.
FlyingPie 17
Nuclear farts FTW. Or not.
LaLince 40
and this is Puke for you!
kourtnii_ 6
The use of vocabulary makes me feel as if I was there.
clairelolz 5
Taco Bell strikes again. First they have fake meat then this....