Today, after months of a very healthy sex life with my boyfriend, he asked me to let him try anal. I'm dead-set against it, so I tried to let him down easy by jokingly saying that I would, but only if he let me try it on him first. He said, "Sure." Fuck. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Same thing different taste
Today, my boyfriend told me he loved me for the first time. He followed it with, "Want to try anal?" FML
Today, after years of telling my boyfriend I don't do anal, I agreed to try it once just to get him to stop whining about it. He was so gung-ho that he tried to force it in without doing enough "relaxing preparation" and he split the muscle around my ring. Now I need surgery. FML
Nice try, chief
Today, while discussing having sex for the first time with my boyfriend, I asked what method of birth control we should use. He replied, "Anal." FML
The best method!
Today, while discussing having sex for the first time with my boyfriend, I asked what method of birth control we should use. He replied, "Anal." FML
Today, my boyfriend and I decided to try anal sex. When he was done, I turned around to see him holding a strap-on with a smile on his face and said 'Now, do me'. FML
Preparation
Today, I agreed to anal with my boyfriend, but when I told him anal takes prep, like stretching and lubing, and you can’t just jam a knob up there like in a porno, he lost all interest, asked for a blowjob, and when I said no, he started sulking. I struggle to remember why I’m with him. FML
Secret unlocked
Today, my boyfriend kept trying to convince me to do anal with him. After denying him several times, he told me, "Why? It feels good, trust me." I asked him how would he know. There was a long awkward silence, then he then replied, "I'm not gay, I swear." FML
Today, I went down on my boyfriend for the first time. I went slowly to build up the excitement, and I thought it was working really well, until he sighed, "For fuck's sake, it's a dick, not a shotgun." and told me to stop embarrassing him. FML
Pushed it too far
Today, as we were getting ready for sex, I told my man to fuck my face, and it was great until he shoved my face in his ass, yelling, "Eat my ass! Eat it!" I had to explain that ass eating is not something I'm comfortable with. FML
What what?
Today, my boyfriend stuck his finger in my butt and I liked it, but I can’t ever tell him that or he’ll get that smug look on his face like, “I told you so, let’s have anal now.” FML
Top comments
Smeelover27 15
I was going to make a joke, butt **** it.
amanda_smith54 4
You should have just been honest and told him you didn't want to Haha
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (131)
Ambience138 11
Just try it. Anal is awesome.
Pussycat86 18
Looooooool, happened with my x too, I had to suffer from anal and pretend to like it for 4 years!!! Don't agree to it, and don't try it with him!! Will change the way u perceive him in bed!
LuckyLynx7732 5
A lot of that has to do with the guy you are dating. If he is insensitive and only concerned with how it feels for him, then yeah its probably going to hurt. But if he wants you to enjoy it and he takes his time then it can be a blast.
Sputnikspak 13
44: Pretty much this. Some women might not enjoy anal, as much as they might not necessarily enjoy oral sex or any other act, but if your partner is considerate, you can still perform those acts and be comfortable doing them. I'm not crazy about anal - every now and then I get in a mood, but it's not often. My boyfriend likes it, so sometimes I go to the effort just for that reason. The key is to go really slow, spend a lot of time getting worked up and turned on, use a LOT of lube, and possibly a vibrator for your clit. If anal is that awful? You're probably doing it wrong.
Laurenlou 24
69- I like your optimism! I actually do feel that anal is that awful. No, I've never tried it, but I cannot stand to think about it. If my husband ever asked me to try it, I would definitely give it some thought, but how is it any different than having normal sex from a man's perspective? I'm pretty sure it's not a natural thing to do, since humans let out their waste from there. The ****** is literally made for sex and having children. So, I guess what I ultimately want to know from you is why is it something that is appealing at all? (Since you can't hear my tone of voice, I want you to know that I am not being judgmental or harsh towards you or anyone who likes this! I just want to understand it.)
skyttlz 32
I completely agree. Surely everyone has taken a big poo that hurt, I couldn't imagine something bigger could feel good and not hurt.
DKjazz 20
But then again, we've all taken that huge poo that felt really good, too.
DjeePee 25
"but how is it any different than having normal sex from a man's perspective?" It feels tighter. And the idea 'I am taking my gf in the ass' can make the experience even more exciting. "I'm pretty sure it's not a natural thing to do, since humans let out their waste from there." I'm pretty sure it's a natural thing to do, since animals also do it and because it's part of human nature to experiment (with sex). Besides, if you want to have only natural procrastination-sex, you'll have to ban oral sex along with all the sex toys.
Mifflicious 18
Wait, what? Since when do animals have anal sex?
Sputnikspak 13
Bonobos are known to have sex for pleasure. That can include anal. There is a lot of appeal in it for guys. It's a much tighter space, it's got the whole "We're doing something naughty" appeal, and it often can be a turn on because of the domination aspect of it (which is the main appeal of using a strap-on on a guy). It can be quite pleasant for women, and cause REALLY intense orgasms if you know what you're doing. I said before, you need to be really relaxed, use a lot of lube, and work your way up to it. Using other sex toys can help - one of the appeals is the feeling of being 'full' (having something in your ass and in your ******). Your anus IS an erogenous zone, so it is perfectly natural to explore it. Even if you just start with circling it with a finger, if you're open minded and in the mood, it can be really great. People have this misconception that there is always a pile of feces sitting in your rectum, and if someone sticks a penis up there, they'll be literally ******* poop. But fecal matter doesn't descend into your rectum unless you are about to poop, and you can clean it out a bit more using some distilled water or a mild enema. It's often really great for guys - at the right angle, you can hit the prostate, which can be really pleasurable. Again, going slow and getting really worked up to it is key. :)
Laurenlou 24
124- Once again, I was not being rude, I was curious. Also, I'm not implying that everyone or anyone should only have "natural" sex. I suspect many men and women enjoy oral and having toys. But it's not the same thing as anal and I'd rather not compare the two since I haven't tried the latter. 142-Thank you for the info. I will definitely refer back to this if I ever need to. Although I am very open minded, it just doesn't seem possible for me. Thank goodness I am with someone who has the same fantasies as I do! I understand that poop doesn't stay there already. How can others not know that? Haha I though it was common knowledge!
Mifflicious 18
I know there are a few animals that actually have sex for pleasure, but they are mostly apes, shimpanzees etc, animals that are close to humans. To say that "since animals also do it" kinda sounds that all animals have anal sex. It's more uncommon than common that they do it.
HarpoKeane 13
Hi 91, your points are valid, but equally there is a "thrill" involved with anal sex. First of all from a guys perspective the feeling of tightness is different, and if you have a good relationship with your lover then it's a great way to show trust. You're right not to dismiss it, but see if your husband brings it up :) You never know how it is until you've tried it :)
daniel_dd31 13
When you thought things couldn't get worse.....
karlcolt45 19
ahh no! that is the one thing in life that I am completely not comfortable with.
shutupAnderson 7
A real man takes it up the ass.
mattrd_fml 31
There are plenty of straight men who love getting anal. Relax. You may enjoy it too!
cassislankard 12
Everyone is saying her name is epic, but I can't see it. All I see is "guess I'm dating..."
HeartOfLead 24
Everyone has been taking about Perdix and how he is busy (or getting busy!). If that didn't help, read some of the comments before posting again. I think you're smart enough to put 2 and 2 together.
Laurenlou 24
40- "think I'm dating perdix" is OP's user name.
qjdb 8
Turn your phone sideways, you'll see the entire username (assuming you're on a phone where the screen rotates)
ganash22 6
Is only smellz
danial1214 21
I think perdix is busy right now...
eaglerob 20
Rock the biggest strap on you can find and pony up.