Today, two days before I'm due to fly out to Russia on my first vacation, I caught my extremely over-protective mother trying to force the family dog to eat my passport. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, after cancelling work, arguing with my family, scrambling to pack my bags, speeding to the airport and filling in immigration forms to fly out to have a much needed holiday, I wasn't allowed to check in. My passport has less than 6 months away from expiration on it. Yes, that's a thing, apparently. FML
Today, I went with my girlfriend to the airport for some much needed vacation time. We arrived on time but were stopped at the gate when they told me I didn't have the right passport. The plane left without me. My girlfriend did too. FML
Today, I was at the airport waiting for my flight when I realized I had forgotten my passport at home. I panicked, called my mom in a frenzy, only to realize I was holding my passport in my wallet the entire time. It was so embarrassing, and my mom will probably never let me forget it. FML
Today, I got a puppy. I just found out I can't bring it on the family trip. To save me the trouble of finding a friend to take her in, my mum handed her back to the pound. FML
Today, I finished filling the pages in my passport. Also today, my mom's cat urinated on my backpack, soaking my passport with rancid pee. I have visas that last 10 years and can't be moved to a new passport, so I have to keep this nostril-burning booklet. FML
Today, I was unable to go on my dream vacation because I thought I'd lost my passport. Feeling incredibly stupid, I had no choice but to watch my plane depart without me. Shortly after, my brother handed me passport, saying that since I wasn't going on my trip, I could use my refund to pay for his cat's surgery. My trip was non-refundable. FML
Today, I was heading out for my flight to Australia. I'd put a padlock on my luggage to keep my wallet and passport safe, only to realize way too late that I'd left the key at home. I couldn't get at my passport and ended up missing my flight and my whole vacation along with it. FML
Today, my family got detained by airport security thanks to one of their dogs. It didn't even bark to indicate there was something wrong, though. It just kept sniffing my dad, probably because we had our dog with us in the car on the way there. FML
Today, I found out that my passport expired two days ago, two days before my first vacation abroad. I only found out when the airline employee scanned it at check-in, looked at me with sympathy, and said, "I don't think you're going anywhere today." My friends are currently posting beach photos while I'm filling out passport renewal forms. FML
Today, my mother-in-law had concealed in her suitcase a kitchen knife and plastic bags of MSG, salt, and other seasonings (AKA unidentified white powder) because she doesn’t trust foreign food, and wanted to cook her own food on holiday. Airport security were not amused and we missed our flight. FML
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Top comments
HowieDoIt 21
Joke's on her, you'll have it back a few hours later ;)
poodle_juice 17
I've heard of "the dog ate my homework.".. But, "the dog ate my passport" is taking it to a whole new level.
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Comments (69)
rachel_h 14
Haha woww
teareb 9
Haha woww
sux4u121 10
Yes, I also thought this FML was quite linguistic and thought provoking.
wlddog 14
Its the word play she used 37. Its like she knew how to bend my mind around her finger and open up a new reality to me.
HowieDoIt 21
Joke's on her, you'll have it back a few hours later ;)
oj101 33
Customs officer: Where's your passport? OP: My dog ate it. Customs officer: I used that as a lame excuse for homework when I was 10 -__- OP: But it's true. I brought along the decomposed form in a doggy bag. Look! Lets reconstruct it! Customs officer: I'd rather not. Just go through the gate. Remember, in Soviet Russia, poop is passport.
B5B0N35 18
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
she's trying to stay with her baby
Mossears133 15
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
In her defense, Russia isn't the BEST place for a vacation....... (no offense Russians! :3)
finnrambo 13
57 you're an idiot.
Fsvb 32
No, she is not. I would be afraid in a country like that, but the internet may have spoiled me on this one.
Ololo_fml 16
it certainly did
XxKillerStormXx 13
Now that's pretty messed up lol
fluffykhan_23 4
You don't say!
crackmore278 13
Poor dog! Why not burn it and spare destroying the little pup?
klutz44 28
The dog eating it can easily be explained away as an accident.
HowieDoIt 21
The passport will still travel plenty, I'm sure...it's hard to digest why your mom would do that
poodle_juice 17
I've heard of "the dog ate my homework.".. But, "the dog ate my passport" is taking it to a whole new level.
abrookec2011 14
Says poodle juice.
AngrySailor 17
BFM is some BIG shoes to fill my friend... Are you sure you're up for that profile pic?
toon_girl 12
There was a rugby player recently who couldn't go with his team abroad for a really key match as his puppy had eaten his passport. Cue loads of jokes about how he was in the doghouse nw because of it!
Connect 10
Who the **** takes vacations in Russia?
HowieDoIt 21
I think someone needs a hug.
Connect 10
I've just been to Russia. And it's a shithole.
HowieDoIt 21
Seriously, a hug can be arranged. Just let it happen
fdupagain 11
Obviously you.
FlyingPie 17
Perhaps people who have families there. Or perhaps there's something in Russia that you don't know about. Why do you care anyway?
sniken 14
Why do people travel to the north pole? There's always a reason from someone to go somewhere... (and that being said, Denmark doesn't stand out as the most spectacular destination either)
Connect 10
@31 There is a big difference. Denmark is a magnificent place. Russia is horrible. But be my guest and call Denmark whatever you want. I know the truth.
Mossears133 15
Stupid "comment moderated"! I want to know what he said D:
anythingmustbe 18
Don't worry in Soviet Russia the dog don't eat the passport, the passport eat the dog.
23Z9TZO 18
This joke isn't overused at all
LouisianaBob 9
Welcome to the internet, where creativity is inversely proportional to the number of users.
krazykyra 12
Your mother sounds scary... Who does that?
SamCat 21
Crazy ass moms do. Mine carries pepper spray by her car door and a riffle in her trunk "just in case" she says.
dontpanic_fml 32
That's not even close to the same situation 14...
Behind_walls 13
Obviously Op's mom xD In reply to #10
SamCat 21
All I was trying to say is that just because she is a mom, it doesn't make her any less crazy than the next person.
dontpanic_fml 32
Carrying firearms and pepper spray for protection ( which is not my definition of crazy) is not even on the same spectrum as forcing a poor animal to eat something they shouldn't and don't want to. All I'm saying