Today, after months of a very healthy sex life with my boyfriend, he asked me to let him try anal. I'm dead-set against it, so I tried to let him down easy by jokingly saying that I would, but only if he let me try it on him first. He said, "Sure." Fuck. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my boyfriend told me he loved me for the first time. He followed it with, "Want to try anal?" FML
Today, after years of telling my boyfriend I don't do anal, I agreed to try it once just to get him to stop whining about it. He was so gung-ho that he tried to force it in without doing enough "relaxing preparation" and he split the muscle around my ring. Now I need surgery. FML
Today, while discussing having sex for the first time with my boyfriend, I asked what method of birth control we should use. He replied, "Anal." FML
Today, while discussing having sex for the first time with my boyfriend, I asked what method of birth control we should use. He replied, "Anal." FML
Today, my boyfriend and I decided to try anal sex. When he was done, I turned around to see him holding a strap-on with a smile on his face and said 'Now, do me'. FML
Today, I agreed to anal with my boyfriend, but when I told him anal takes prep, like stretching and lubing, and you can’t just jam a knob up there like in a porno, he lost all interest, asked for a blowjob, and when I said no, he started sulking. I struggle to remember why I’m with him. FML
Today, my boyfriend kept trying to convince me to do anal with him. After denying him several times, he told me, "Why? It feels good, trust me." I asked him how would he know. There was a long awkward silence, then he then replied, "I'm not gay, I swear." FML
Today, I went down on my boyfriend for the first time. I went slowly to build up the excitement, and I thought it was working really well, until he sighed, "For fuck's sake, it's a dick, not a shotgun." and told me to stop embarrassing him. FML
Today, as we were getting ready for sex, I told my man to fuck my face, and it was great until he shoved my face in his ass, yelling, "Eat my ass! Eat it!" I had to explain that ass eating is not something I'm comfortable with. FML
Today, my boyfriend stuck his finger in my butt and I liked it, but I can’t ever tell him that or he’ll get that smug look on his face like, “I told you so, let’s have anal now.” FML
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Top comments
Smeelover27 15
I was going to make a joke, butt **** it.
amanda_smith54 4
You should have just been honest and told him you didn't want to Haha
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Comments (131)
EvaWarrior 8
just put your foot down, if he truly cares about you he'll understand and respect ur decision
anythingmustbe 18
Its your fault you should not have tried to be a smart ass. Maybe he was hoping you would bend to his whim. Just talk to him and sort it out. He may be bummed out but hopefully he will understand.
Wani_fml 12
Was that a terrible pun?
TheBrochure 22
83- It was a string of great puns.
_1296 10
And not terrible. Good ones.
melons122 3
Oh my, you are so clever. You got me giggling for like 5 minutes :) still laughing
coolster5000 22
Same
Enslaved 38
You better make sure that shit hurts him big time or you're next. :P
outoftown 27
If she hurts him big time, she might be hurting even more.
slmchicd12 23
Hey, if he's willing to try it in order for you to try it, why not give it a shot? Use toys and lots of lube to work up to it. You don't have to let him just jump right in.
mangoboy1 19
Hey as far as I know I'm not gay but I'm pretty open minded; I don't know, maybe I would take that offer.
Sputnikspak 13
Being male and enjoying anal does not make you gay. A girl can have a huge glittery strap-on, be slamming you in the ass and saying things like "You like that, you dirty little sissy", while you are dressed in high heels and a corset, and it is still NOT GAY. Because you are still having sex WITH A GIRL. Until a guy is involved, it doesn't venture onto the gay spectrum at all.
btstig 11
Keep telling yourself that chief.
kasadillabb 4
you got so into detail I envisioned it, and now it's an fml for me too
Behind_walls 13
Really?! I will find you Mango... xD I kid, I kid.
amisenho 11
But what if the guy imagines it's a guy saying and doing all that stuff? In that case, would a girl wanting to try scissoring with her boyfriend and imagine him being female not gay? O.O
vbmg152 19
Open mouth, insert foot! Lol!!! This is hilarious! YDI BTW, don't knock it, till you've tried it!
fightingkittens 39
It's going to be a lot more than her mouth that she's opening.
bReLiNg 18
Hey he's just trying to spice things up. If you don't like it, then don't do it again
challan 19
He's your partner Op... You should be willing to explore each others fantasies.
enormouselephant 15
If your partner was into *********** would you be willing to appease him? No one should feel obligated to doing anything they're dead set against. I'll be here if you decide to give it a shot though;)
challan 19
Well that escalated quickly. I don't think anal is like **********. Lol If you're partner wants to try something that's not against the law, I think you should. He wants to dress like Roger Rabbit, then you dress up like Jessica. He wants to get poked in the bum, then poke him. You don't know if you like something until you try out, or if you'll hate it!
Redlawnchair 9
How is dressing up in costume and shoving something up your ass comparable?
cmbar831 14
The word "****" at the end just made that FML complete
Catkam623 27
where is perdixs comment i need to hear his response to this
Enslaved 38
He's busy. He's in line at a novelty shop purchasing a gallon of Astroglide.
HeartOfLead 24
You forgot the cowboy hat, ropes, a mannequin, and while we're at it, some knee pads.
dalink 24
Chaps?
HeartOfLead 24
Only if they're assless chaps...
R00ST3R 12
181 all chaps are assless