Today, after months of a very healthy sex life with my boyfriend, he asked me to let him try anal. I'm dead-set against it, so I tried to let him down easy by jokingly saying that I would, but only if he let me try it on him first. He said, "Sure." Fuck. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Same thing different taste
Today, my boyfriend told me he loved me for the first time. He followed it with, "Want to try anal?" FML
Today, after years of telling my boyfriend I don't do anal, I agreed to try it once just to get him to stop whining about it. He was so gung-ho that he tried to force it in without doing enough "relaxing preparation" and he split the muscle around my ring. Now I need surgery. FML
Nice try, chief
Today, while discussing having sex for the first time with my boyfriend, I asked what method of birth control we should use. He replied, "Anal." FML
The best method!
Today, while discussing having sex for the first time with my boyfriend, I asked what method of birth control we should use. He replied, "Anal." FML
Today, my boyfriend and I decided to try anal sex. When he was done, I turned around to see him holding a strap-on with a smile on his face and said 'Now, do me'. FML
Preparation
Today, I agreed to anal with my boyfriend, but when I told him anal takes prep, like stretching and lubing, and you can’t just jam a knob up there like in a porno, he lost all interest, asked for a blowjob, and when I said no, he started sulking. I struggle to remember why I’m with him. FML
Secret unlocked
Today, my boyfriend kept trying to convince me to do anal with him. After denying him several times, he told me, "Why? It feels good, trust me." I asked him how would he know. There was a long awkward silence, then he then replied, "I'm not gay, I swear." FML
Today, I went down on my boyfriend for the first time. I went slowly to build up the excitement, and I thought it was working really well, until he sighed, "For fuck's sake, it's a dick, not a shotgun." and told me to stop embarrassing him. FML
Pushed it too far
Today, as we were getting ready for sex, I told my man to fuck my face, and it was great until he shoved my face in his ass, yelling, "Eat my ass! Eat it!" I had to explain that ass eating is not something I'm comfortable with. FML
What what?
Today, my boyfriend stuck his finger in my butt and I liked it, but I can’t ever tell him that or he’ll get that smug look on his face like, “I told you so, let’s have anal now.” FML
Top comments
Smeelover27 15
I was going to make a joke, butt **** it.
amanda_smith54 4
You should have just been honest and told him you didn't want to Haha
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Comments (131)
jalapeno47 5
It's not that bad
rugby_lover09 13
Anal is a pain in the ass.
lovelyohhmee 8
Maybe he is secretly GAY.
EvilUndead 9
Maybe you're secretly too young to be reading this.
interesting33 37
I don't think it means he is gay - he just either really wants to do anal on her, or maybe he just likes it. I think it can feel really good for anyone. Some girls like anal and some don't though. So do stick with yourself.
Pensu 12
Just be honest with him OP, you should never feel pressured to try something in bed that you aren't comfortable with. And fellow commenters... oy. Liking anal does not mean that you're gay. Everyone has a butt.
trulymickeyj 13
Is he bi?
sirjuice35 11
you got yourself a real winner there lol
sugarbear0727 19
Its not bad. Have some fun, explore. I personally love anal. You do have to start out slow, cause it.does hurt like hell, but lube helps alot. If he wants you to do it to him, just try it. I'm actually planning on it with my boyfriend. He wants to feel the pain that I go through when we have anal sex. I wasn't open to it at first, but we've talked all the details out, and he's sent me pictures and videos and such of him playing with his ass with a toy, and I'll be damned if it didn't turn me on super bad. Don't knock it till you try it. It could be something you both really enjoy. And honestly, every once in a while, the girl is entitled to be the dominant one, so **** him in the ass, and make it fun.
rootbeerfanatic 6
That was way too much information...
qjdb 8
Just take it easy and slow. Maybe try something like anal beads first, or analingus (I would hope that he would do that, regardless). Don't go straight to penis. You have to work your way up, build up your "tolerance", etc. Heck, you have to build up the tolerance every session, working your way up the sizes of ******, number of fingers, whatever. Unless you're a pornstar who does it very day, the sphincter tightens back up pretty quickly. With the right amount of stimulation, lubrication, and a talented partner, anal intercourse can be a very enjoyable experience for both the giver and the receiver. (By the way, I'm totally straight, but love being both the giver and the receiver with various girlfriends)
Fsvb 32
.. What is a Perdix..? I couldn't find the right answer with google...
perdix 31
#151, a character from Greek mythology, Daedalus' nephew, who invented the saw and the compass (the circle-drawing thingy, not the navigation thingy.) You're welcome.
Fsvb 32
Oh.. I did find that, but then I guess I'm just stupid because I still don't get it :P Thanks anyway :)
perdix 31
#159, did you notice #152's name?
Fsvb 32
You mean your own name? Yes I did. I still don't understand the joke of OP's name. Herpaderp.
Fsvb 32
I am seriously getting frustrated, I really, really, do not understand this joke with the current information I have. I've read the wikipedia page about it a few times and I've discussed it with my boyfriend, but we both don't understand. I feel really stupid or oblivious right now :P Please, explain further, explain to me like I am a toddler!