Today, after months of a very healthy sex life with my boyfriend, he asked me to let him try anal. I'm dead-set against it, so I tried to let him down easy by jokingly saying that I would, but only if he let me try it on him first. He said, "Sure." Fuck. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my boyfriend told me he loved me for the first time. He followed it with, "Want to try anal?" FML
Today, after years of telling my boyfriend I don't do anal, I agreed to try it once just to get him to stop whining about it. He was so gung-ho that he tried to force it in without doing enough "relaxing preparation" and he split the muscle around my ring. Now I need surgery. FML
Today, while discussing having sex for the first time with my boyfriend, I asked what method of birth control we should use. He replied, "Anal." FML
Today, while discussing having sex for the first time with my boyfriend, I asked what method of birth control we should use. He replied, "Anal." FML
Today, my boyfriend and I decided to try anal sex. When he was done, I turned around to see him holding a strap-on with a smile on his face and said 'Now, do me'. FML
Today, I agreed to anal with my boyfriend, but when I told him anal takes prep, like stretching and lubing, and you can’t just jam a knob up there like in a porno, he lost all interest, asked for a blowjob, and when I said no, he started sulking. I struggle to remember why I’m with him. FML
Today, my boyfriend kept trying to convince me to do anal with him. After denying him several times, he told me, "Why? It feels good, trust me." I asked him how would he know. There was a long awkward silence, then he then replied, "I'm not gay, I swear." FML
Today, I went down on my boyfriend for the first time. I went slowly to build up the excitement, and I thought it was working really well, until he sighed, "For fuck's sake, it's a dick, not a shotgun." and told me to stop embarrassing him. FML
Today, as we were getting ready for sex, I told my man to fuck my face, and it was great until he shoved my face in his ass, yelling, "Eat my ass! Eat it!" I had to explain that ass eating is not something I'm comfortable with. FML
Today, my boyfriend stuck his finger in my butt and I liked it, but I can’t ever tell him that or he’ll get that smug look on his face like, “I told you so, let’s have anal now.” FML
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Top comments
Smeelover27 15
I was going to make a joke, butt **** it.
amanda_smith54 4
You should have just been honest and told him you didn't want to Haha
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Comments (131)
DanielleinDC 34
If you're dead set against it--and that's your right--you should just be up-front and say that that is something you do not wish to do. By suggesting that you would let him do it to you if you could peg him, you opened the door to the possibility of having it done. Trying to let someone down easy almost never works.
perdix 31
I'm so honored to be in the OPs name, I forgot to take offense at the content of the story. I realized, no, realised, wait... I've been bent over for an hour and instill haven't felt anything. Is it in yet? How does a woman handle that question?
HeartOfLead 24
I hoped you liked the color pink...
AngelSpit 18
I'd say handle that question with a LOT of lube, dry anal is the worst :(
akiahara 14
She gets a bigger strap on.
AngelSpit 18
You're forgetting men have a prostate, sure a bigger strap on will hurt at first going in but the bigger your piece the more its going to press against his prostate, use a tiny lil pencil dick *****, and no I swear I've never ****** a guy in the ass I just know a lot of very sexually deviant men :)
gc327072 31
I shall make it my destiny... I HAVE A DREAM... THAT ONE DAY... MY NAME WILL BE IN THE OP's NAME ON AN FML POST… *crowd cheers* Now I just gotta go make a HUGE amount of funny comments...
R4inb0wBrit3 13
Oh, how I anticipated your reply Perdix.
Iknoweverything 29
You must have a huge asshole Perdix! lol
mfischer 17
#153 Also an easier name to remember.
deltoramastr 12
You must come pre-lubed. Very considerate of you perdix, I'm sure op is happy
rawr_ily96 24
I saw this fml in a search, saw the username, clicked it, and looked for your comment. My life is complete.
jaygoose 5
Sounds fair to me.
HeartOfLead 24
You should tell Perdi- I mean your boyfriend that it was just a joke, and not a dick, so don't take so straight... Wait, wait, scratch all that.
acami2012 5
eww!
kaymi 17
Man, when a guy asked me for anal and i came back with that same response, none of them said yeah...dang, you better take him up on his offer and peg him please. Lol
HeartOfLead 24
Wait, before you do this, I need to start recording... Oh and can we get Doc in on this?
hienzburgess 9
Is honesty and being up front not cool nowadays? geez.
Ray_of_midnight 23
Hey, getting pegged is awesome! :-)
enormouselephant 15
Doc will only be there at the end when something's stuck. Maybe that'll be his new profile picture!