Today, I agreed to anal with my boyfriend, but when I told him anal takes prep, like stretching and lubing, and you can’t just jam a knob up there like in a porno, he lost all interest, asked for a blowjob, and when I said no, he started sulking. I struggle to remember why I’m with him. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, after months of a very healthy sex life with my boyfriend, he asked me to let him try anal. I'm dead-set against it, so I tried to let him down easy by jokingly saying that I would, but only if he let me try it on him first. He said, "Sure." Fuck. FML
Today, after years of telling my boyfriend I don't do anal, I agreed to try it once just to get him to stop whining about it. He was so gung-ho that he tried to force it in without doing enough "relaxing preparation" and he split the muscle around my ring. Now I need surgery. FML
Today, my wife insisted we try anal until we “got it right”. Well, she complained through the whole thing, wouldn’t let me quit, blamed me when I inevitably did orgasm and she didn’t, and then moaned about how it stings and needing a shower. I don’t even like anal, it’s not my thing at all. FML
Today, my boyfriend stuck his finger in my butt and I liked it, but I can’t ever tell him that or he’ll get that smug look on his face like, “I told you so, let’s have anal now.” FML
Today, my boyfriend and I decided to try anal sex. When he was done, I turned around to see him holding a strap-on with a smile on his face and said 'Now, do me'. FML
Today, my boyfriend kept trying to convince me to do anal with him. After denying him several times, he told me, "Why? It feels good, trust me." I asked him how would he know. There was a long awkward silence, then he then replied, "I'm not gay, I swear." FML
Today, my boyfriend asked me if I’d feel comfortable pegging him. I had no idea what that meant, so I had to look it up. I tried to keep an open mind but it was just too far outside my comfort zone. Now he’s sulking and complaining about me being a prude. FML
Today, my boyfriend decided that vaginal, oral, and anal sex are starting to get boring. Let's just say that my armpit is now drenched in lube. I'm afraid of what he's going to want to try once he gets bored of this. FML
Today, my boyfriend told me that he doesn't know why I think deepthroating is so uncomfortable. To prove his point, he grabbed my dildo and effortlessly slid it down his throat. FML
Today, while playing cards, me and my boyfriend were getting super competitive and started wagering sexual stuff. His first and only choice: anal. Why only anal? All the time anal, there’s hundreds of other things to try, why do men always go straight to anal? It’s gets boring after a while. FML
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Top comments
Crowned Sataness 12
if you can't remember why you are with him, then why are you with him? stop wasting your time and find someone more suited to you
Brightside86 31
Seems like a very odd deal breaker, I mean obviously if anal isn't a good experience for both parties it's not going to happen again...
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Comments (5)
RichardPencil 32
Why would you want to be with a guy who you don't want to blow on-demand? I'm flummoxed.
Plop 17
You wrote this comment just because you wanted to use the word "flummoxed", admit it. We all know it.
RichardPencil 32
No, that's not what I'd consider an impressing word. When you see me use "ultracrepidarian," then you'll know I'm showing off.
Shzusuziq11 12
So why did you say no to the BJ?
Hangryko 32
Because they can say "no" at any time.
Crowned Sataness 12
if you can't remember why you are with him, then why are you with him? stop wasting your time and find someone more suited to you
Brightside86 31
Seems like a very odd deal breaker, I mean obviously if anal isn't a good experience for both parties it's not going to happen again...
crackbombz 8
Not sure why this is suck a big deal. The guy was super horny and was bummed out he couldn’t even get head. Just take one for the team and pop that sucker in your mouth