Today, after many, many attempts to get her out of my life, the girl that is stalking me told me that she loves me and our love can only be ended by her killing either herself or me. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my girlfriend of 3 weeks gave me an ultimatum: marry her, or she kills herself. FML
Today, I caught my girlfriend cheating on me. Now she's threatening to kill herself if I don't forgive her. FML
Today, the girl I've been seeing for just over a week casually let me know that she'll slash her wrists if I ever leave her. FML
Today, I had a great time with a girl I liked. I asked her out and she said yes. She also said she cuts herself and if I ever broke up with her, I'll be responsible for her death. FML
Today, I found out that my girlfriend of one week is suicidal and crazy about me. She showed me that she'd carved her old boyfriend's name in her arm, and she threatened suicide if I ever left her. FML
Today, I told my mom I loved her and she asked if I was going to kill myself. FML
Today, the girl of my dreams, the one person I've met in my life that I could see myself spending the rest of it with, told me she loves me. She then specifically added "...but not in that way, so we could never be together." FML
Today, the girl I've been seeing for less than a week started raging and ended up threatening me with a knife, after I shot down her idea of getting married next month. FML
Today, I found out that the woman I could fall in love with is dating a friend of mine. I think I will end up alone, and die alone. FML
Today, I received the only love letter I've ever gotten. Too bad it's from the guy who's been stalking me. FML
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Top comments
Luckster 0
Run...Police NEVER help in cases like these. Just ******* RUN!
bladelix3 1
ummm she needs to seek help
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Comments (193)
alex1432 9
call the police and report her
MrCanoe 5
there's 2 options 1. Go to the police. report this, get a restraining order 2. Give in and have sex with her but create some extremely freaky sex thing like Shit/piss play, extreme S&M stuff or dress up like a baby just Do something really really freaky and she will be turned off hopefully
Shannn 0
Oh god.
FerrariCake 2
It sounds like she's giving you a choice... tell her you choose that she kills herself, not you.
CallMeHush 1
So that is what true love is like. Take her on a weekend trip to Mexico, book your return flight a day earlier, bang her silly all weekend then sneak off with her ticket and passport. Problem Solved! (and you got laid)
disgruntled_stdt 0
Thumbs up to you, that's brilliant.
gina_m491 0
love it!!!
Ejigantor 0
pro tip: midway through the romp start getting kinky- on the last day you're there, tie her to the bed, blindfold her, bang her one more time, and leave.
I_am_stupid_also 6
Read all the other FMLs for hints of crappy things to say to her.
quietnonsense 0
Are you being stalked by Bella Swan?
FML_FYL_2009 0
AHHHH! You need to slap a restraining order and a straight jacket on the ho. Also, to #75, I think you are on the wrong website. This is the one you were looking for: http://www.mylifeistwilight.com
Omnigeek6 1
Dude, call the cops!
the_sodomizer 0
buy her a weapon
Roshoka 0
then stuff the weapon with dirt or mud if its a gun so it'll blow her hand off