Today, the girl I've been seeing for just over a week casually let me know that she'll slash her wrists if I ever leave her. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I found out that my girlfriend of one week is suicidal and crazy about me. She showed me that she'd carved her old boyfriend's name in her arm, and she threatened suicide if I ever left her. FML
Today, I had a great time with a girl I liked. I asked her out and she said yes. She also said she cuts herself and if I ever broke up with her, I'll be responsible for her death. FML
Today, the girl I've been seeing for less than a week started raging and ended up threatening me with a knife, after I shot down her idea of getting married next month. FML
Today, my girlfriend of 3 weeks gave me an ultimatum: marry her, or she kills herself. FML
Today, I caught my girlfriend cheating on me. Now she's threatening to kill herself if I don't forgive her. FML
Today, my girlfriend of three weeks basically threatened to kill herself if I don't start thinking about having a child with her soon. FML
Today, my girlfriend's mom pulled me aside and started telling me about how her daughter was extremely depressed and suicidal before she met me, and how happy her family is because of me. I was planning on breaking up with her within the next week. FML
Today, after many, many attempts to get her out of my life, the girl that is stalking me told me that she loves me and our love can only be ended by her killing either herself or me. FML
Today, I was planning on breaking up with my girlfriend of five years in two days time. She just mailed me a care package that said, "I'd die without you." FML
Today, after a week of intense fighting, my girlfriend of 4 years and I hung out. She told me she loved me, and I pointed out that last week she said she was going to dump me. Without missing a beat, she replied, "Only to scare you into submission." FML
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Top comments
kangx1 28
Just casually lure her to an asylum
mikepzz 27
You should hop on the nope train and run as fast and as far away as possible.
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Comments (170)
mikepzz 27
You should hop on the nope train and run as fast and as far away as possible.
mikepzz 27
Well I read some more fml's and noticed someone used the nope train comment as well... Well shit
thatADHDdude 21
That's alright. It's only annoying when it's used multiple times in the same post. Unless it's a shitty/sticky situation comment, that's never ok.
thecalvin123 21
If its any consolation, I've never seen this comment before.
xx000o 27
Just tell her that it's her problem not yours.
Ltsdragons 19
#141 when someone tells you that I don't think your response is "Well that's your problem not mine." If someone says "My parents are getting divorced and I'm slowly becoming depressed." I would never like you, in fact I would despise you, if you replied with "Well that's your problem not mine."
Naggie_May23 6
But not before getting her some psychiatric help, right?
joe3_fml 15
She's a keeper.
1dvs_bstd 41
just... keep her somewhere else.
kangx1 28
Just casually lure her to an asylum
mrmcleod 29
Oh babe I know this great place to eat. Yeah. Lots of entertainmeeeeent... it's an all white partyyyyyy... they have party favooooors. You'll... erm... we'll fit right in.
FALLENSEBZERO 16
She owns you now.
erptwerp 26
You just have to convince her you are crazier than she is and get her to leave you!
commanderstiff 19
That might prove to be difficult.
ana_lee_bonde 17
#5 I had a crazy girlfriend like OP's before and didn't once think to try that tbh, now I wonder if it works.
hkhan24 23
This has the potential to work. Just act super clingy, call her all the time and give her no alone time. she'll be gone pretty soon.
beararm 11
this might work
PSYqualiac 17
Tried it... she proposed. I literally yelled "Gosh! You're so clingy! I need some space to be able to breath!" and then continued acting super clingy and annoying with her, but everytime she said or did anything I acted offended by her "clinginess". Took her a month amd a half... wasn't worth it besides the comedy value for storytelling.
nightbirdblue 27
You need to convince her that you see a small, bald man with horns and a wolf tail and have frequent conversations with him. Be sure to also see things like beds with teeths, pictures that are spinning around, and talking goldfish. Pretend to have no cognition of the things you are telling her about these crazy things.
RabidLimaBeans 16
Teeths?
8Dirty1 24
maybe she just means swing her arms in a slashing motion? haha nope
Eyalsh 32
at least you tried.
sstahpp 33
Wow that was bad
kstephens2326 15
I would definitely run while you can. Staying will only make things worse in the end.
denaeb123 24
as someone who is depressed this is really sad to me. nobody should threaten this if they arent serious and if she is serious than she needs actual help which you should help her to get.
nightbirdblue 27
These type of threats aren't usually from people that are depressed in that manner, in my experience. They tend to be people that want to control or manipulate another through playing the victim.
gracehi 33
You're right, 61. This is classic sociopathic behavior. One of the reasons I stayed with my horrible ex for so long was because he threatened suicide every time I said I wanted a divorce. But we've been divorced for three years now, and he's still very much alive last I heard. He stopped threatening suicide when I finally just said, " Oh, shut up. No you won't." Once he knew I knew he was lying, he cut that bullshit out. Perhaps OP should try telling this girl he knows she's just trying to manipulate him. I'd bet any amount of money this girl won't do a damn thing to harm herself if OP leaves her.
chosha_fml 27
#83 Even if they ARE serious, it's not a reason to stay - not with a person who would try to control you with such a horrendous threat.
gracehi 33
Exactly. But, a person with a soul can't help caring whether another person lives or dies. Sociopaths know this, and that's why they do it.
A07 48
Slip anti-psychotics into her drink and run away?
khorstmye 15
Just make sure you are at her place when you leave her. Blood stains are a bitch.
XPhoenixFire 17
Holy crap that was dark, didnt see it coming lmao
firecracker5 11
That's just a little creepy
ZombieSazza 34
You. I like you.