Today, after many, many attempts to get her out of my life, the girl that is stalking me told me that she loves me and our love can only be ended by her killing either herself or me. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my girlfriend of 3 weeks gave me an ultimatum: marry her, or she kills herself. FML
Today, I caught my girlfriend cheating on me. Now she's threatening to kill herself if I don't forgive her. FML
Today, the girl I've been seeing for just over a week casually let me know that she'll slash her wrists if I ever leave her. FML
Today, I had a great time with a girl I liked. I asked her out and she said yes. She also said she cuts herself and if I ever broke up with her, I'll be responsible for her death. FML
Today, I found out that my girlfriend of one week is suicidal and crazy about me. She showed me that she'd carved her old boyfriend's name in her arm, and she threatened suicide if I ever left her. FML
Today, I told my mom I loved her and she asked if I was going to kill myself. FML
Today, the girl of my dreams, the one person I've met in my life that I could see myself spending the rest of it with, told me she loves me. She then specifically added "...but not in that way, so we could never be together." FML
Today, the girl I've been seeing for less than a week started raging and ended up threatening me with a knife, after I shot down her idea of getting married next month. FML
Today, I found out that the woman I could fall in love with is dating a friend of mine. I think I will end up alone, and die alone. FML
Today, I received the only love letter I've ever gotten. Too bad it's from the guy who's been stalking me. FML
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Top comments
Luckster 0
Run...Police NEVER help in cases like these. Just ******* RUN!
bladelix3 1
ummm she needs to seek help
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Comments (193)
myfriend_youfail 3
She probably thinks you're Edward and she's Bella. If you leave her, she'll kill you because you're too dangerous to be around other people without her fantastic love. But then she'll kill herself as your already dead body "dies" because she just can't possibly live without you breaking into her father's house to watch her snore, throwing her into the side of a car for being a bad driver, and emotionally abusing her for daring to **** a teenage werewolf after you've told her you're leaving her for her own good. Ahhhh true love..... xD
Jadie1 0
#41 you are HILARIOUS. that is pure genious!!! XD i agree with #48 too^-^
wellinever 5
Take her out for the evening and let her discover that you are not the Adonis she believes you to be. She'll leave you alone and you'll avoid the prison sentence that goes with some of the suggestions above.
letitbe56 0
Um...why has it taken you this long to call the cops?
ILIEKGIRLS 5
shag her, then bag her.
facilitator 0
Then you toe-tag her, right?
ANTONKR 0
Convince her to kill herself and she won't bother you again.
myk_fml 0
then kill the bitch!
TheOtherNewest1 6
Let's cross our fingers for it to be her.
THISISWHATIWNADO 0
I feel like i'm there now! that is too ******* funny!
Jadie1 0
also #46 is just way wrong. you must not be right in the head. why the hell would you lead a person on like that? unless u wanna be a serial killer, thats still wrong
silbern 0
you know what you must do now OP... Hire a professional hitman that's knows how not to leave evidence behind and make sure there was no written down agreement on his payment or such and what you get is one dead stalker! congrats!