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FMyLife
Anonymous Goodyear, United States

Today, my girlfriend of 3 weeks gave me an ultimatum: marry her, or she kills herself. FML

355

Collection

Fall

Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.

Same thing different taste

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Top comments

superman21_fml 19

Call her bluff.

Bhall12302 7

Who else hates it when you accidentally hit the "you deserve it" button

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Comments (355)

superman21_fml 19

Call her bluff.

hordriss 14

Agree with #1. Ditch the psycho asap.

B_CeouL 12

Agree with #1,4 and 5

Zimmington 21

May I suggest Sepukku?

ILoveMyArm 15

Since we are all agreeing, I agree.

KinkyCurly 13

I double agree to the agreeing

UnluckyGenius 21

I concur!

PenguinBitch 44

I too do not not agree.

TheCanucklehead 22

I agree with 73 for not not agreeing

adam3650 12

I disagree with the agreement that we all agree not to agree.

wowthatsucks5 8

Today, I told my boyfriend of three weeks he needed to marry me or else I'll kill myself. He didn't propose. Now what? FML.

flockz 20

i agree that we should all agree to agreeing to agreements.

mmaflake 19

word for word what I was going to say. Ha!

GweedSincE84_fml 15

#83 kill yourself that'll teach him

TheOnlyMizLiv 22

95- The only time I've ever seen this comment and appreciated it.

emilie_gambii 9

So I think we all agree that we are to agree with the agreement of agreeing?

judea95 16

We do agree, yes.

nurchok 15

Whatever it is, count me in :)

\ 28

Logic sensors overloaded. Perform immediate calibration to avoid shutdown

marcranger 29

I disagree.

RoboCunnilingus 23

I'm agreeing with all of you so hard right now. Except for #186. Screw you, #186.

ositoakaluis 16

I must follow the heard, I agree... but why!?!

LadyMarbles 6

#186 there is NO disagreeing here. You must join the Agree Chain now...or you will be fed to OP's crazy gf for dinner.

ImAp0tat0 9

right!, guess she wants a cheap ring.

judea95 16

Bury the disagree-er (and yes before I get done for grammar, I know that's not a word). :)

SwaggCapone 11

Well either way you look at it you'll still have somewhere to go

fuckyourlifeOP 25

I agree with the people who are agreeing to agree to people who are agreeing with the first post

brutal_banger 10

I agree with the agreement on agreeing after we agreed to agree

Warpuppy 8

He just needs to think of her ultimatum as a time limit to convince her to add him to her will.

HolyCrepe 10

I have now read "agree" so many times, it doesn't sound like a real word anymore.

canupls 6

I agree with #269. I've counted 34 agrees, agreements on this thread.

sig4life 18

Can you say Baker Act and move quickly, very quickly

SomeRandomGuy15 18

269- I agree that the word 'agree' is no longer agreeable.

Frankenstein611 10

I agree that we should all agree and agree on it once more by agreeing

Horsempeg 25

Well.. what did you do??

mcg_19 11

Yeah, you need to get outta there as fast as you can..

peacheso 31

She's bad news mmkay! Run as fast you can mmkay.

eddeeezzyy 19

Shut up, wannabe Mr. Mackey.

dathan 14

'You don't have the guts'

eriksen 16

And then she cuts herself in the stomach and all ger guts pops out

RoboCunnilingus 23

SEPPUKUUUUUU!

ILoveMyArm 15

Yay self-imposed disembowlment!

firefighter925 18

Make surr to bring flowers to the funeral.

RoboCunnilingus 23

Bring a bouquet.

gavagoul 10

Exactly what I was thinking.

bassfisher100 23

...... bring a ring..

ntd309 14

3 weeks?!? I could imagine this to be true if you've been together all your lives... but 3 weeks!?!? Definitely arrange a wedding in a psych ward and then cancel the wedding when she gets an in-patient room!

Goblin182 27

A normal person wouldn't give a "marry me or I kill myself" ultimatum even after years of being together.

AninOnin 24

104 is right. Threatening suicide like that is actually considered abuse in a relationship. Call a counselor and call 911.

ntd309 14

@ #104 Define normal

SS99_fml 20

Marry her with a pre-nuptial agreement then divorce her :) Then you guys won't be married and she has to live up to her promise since you DID marry her at one point...I'm taking this too far

kee_breezy32 34

#8, now that I think about it . that would really work! nice thinking (:

AtomicDiamond87 15

Wouldn't that just make her even more psycho? Lol she already is but that's plain crazy. If he tried to divorce her she's probably threaten to kill him.

smc3106 25

Marry her? Lol. Shit just got serious. (-_-)

TheyCallMePB 9

Or you could annul the marriage

Bhall12302 7

Who else hates it when you accidentally hit the "you deserve it" button

kee_breezy32 34

#9, I thought I was the only one who did that! lol

illegalbeagle69 23

I'm thinking as of right now 825 other people do that because I don't see how OP deserves this.

imtooshy 18

Me too! I just hit the wrong one by accident as well.

asb818 14

Ok FML staff, you gave us a timer to edit our comments, how about a timer to edit our thumbs???

gavagoul 10

I really hate when someone makes a FML and they don't even deserve it, yet it's in the thousands. Like always.

The1CalledGOAT 11

"accidently", riiiight

illegalbeagle 5

I hit the ydi button all the time by accident. On another note, #130 and I have very similar usernames.

OneGirlTwoCups 13

I'm excited to see what happens if OP doesn't marry her. Run to the hills! Run for your- and probably not the psycho's life!

TheDoctor10 28

Was that meant as an iron maiden reference?

ViviMage 40

Walk away. That's way too soon to make that demand, and no one should kill themselves over love anyway!

ocramavaf 15

tell that to Romeo and Juliet

jordanjbaer 6

why walk? id run!

laden_swallow09 35

28- Case in point.

DRSD 5

That's right!!!! PREACH!!!

cass99 11

Comment moderated for rule-breaking.

Well it's longer than Khloe and Lamar knew eachother and they had a great marriage til now! Go for it if things don't go we'll get a divorce

Kateyez_26 13

I really hope you're joking

Zimmington 21

No one gives a **** about Khloe and Lamar. *well and learn to use your space bar properly.

LittlestPrincess 21

I'm starting to think #12 is OP's girlfriend :D

Kateyez_26 13

I was thinking the same thing lol

VioletLife 18

Yes, because everyone should base their decisions off the Kardashians.

hcollins1 18

Am I the only one that doesn't know or even care which one Kloe is?

zomgbies 17

Could be worse. She could base it off Bobby & Whitney

Kateyez_26 13

Or Chris brown and Rihanna

1PersonIsMyWorld 22

12--ignore certain assholes on this thread. ok then. .have a nice day! :))

LadyMarbles 6

don't worry, we ignore your comments first and foremost. :)

LissaMccracken 23

I feel VERY sorry for whoever you end up with...

AngrySailor 17

What the **** did I just read there #12? Go run with scissors now, cuz you know, like YOLO

ottokat 15

Angry Sailor, I have never seen a non-offensive comment from you yet. #12, it is highly unrecommendable to marry someone after three weeks together, much less if they threaten suicide should you not do what they want. She is clearly mentally unstable and needs help.

AngrySailor 17

Well I chose my user name for a reason #243.

NostalgiaFreak9 43

#38 I love how your profile picture matches your comment.

NostalgiaFreak9 43

This has got to be the dumbest comment I have ever read.