Today, after having my bath, I realised that I've gotten so fat that I have to lift up my butt cheeks in order to dry underneath them. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I'm officially fat enough I have to lift my belly out of the way to get to my zipper when I need to pee in public toilets. I hate myself. FML
Today, after taking a shower, I decided to weigh myself. Curious, I peered down. I couldn't see the scale. I am fat. FML
Today, I was in the shower when I realised that maybe I'm getting a little too fat. I was scrubbing the old belly when a dollar flew out onto the floor. I'm 23. FML
Today, I realized how fat I really am. While going to the bathroom I leaned to the side to wipe my butt and heard a crack. Not knowing what it was, I continued to wipe. After I finished, I got up to see that I'd cracked the toilet seat in half. FML
Today, I'd had enough of the excrement sticking in my butt hair. Now that I'm shaved, I feel my buttocks rubbing together. With every step. FML
Today, I felt an itch on my butt so I went to the bathroom to scratch it. It was actually a dried layer of skin that broke from years of wear and tear, and now every time I shit I feel immense pain for the next hour. FML
Today, I noticed I have to lift up my fat to see my penis. FML
Today, I pulled a muscle in my arm while wiping my butt. FML
Today, while getting ready for work, I realized that all my pants were getting a bit tight. When I got home from work, I went in to the bathroom and stood on the scale, which confirmed that I have gained a few pounds. I then realized that I was eating while standing on the scale. FML
Today, I found out that as I get closer to 40, I often need to wipe my arse when I fart. FML
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Top comments
Tikwichka 5
Ugh, now there's an image I don't want in my head!
gozar_fml 1
Just make sure you're not the one in walmart with short shorts.
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Comments (269)
Sindyy 0
Eww.
kaitlinQ 0
instead of bloomers I would hope she can get spanx but she probaly couldn't fit into them
maskedman 9
Spanx: getting fat chicks laid since 1990. It might even work just as good as beer.
bugmenotmofo 34
Honestly, I don't think whales actually have this sort of problem. That should really put it in perspective. Good suggestions though, gotta look for that silver lining.
stinkytruck 0
first of all this shouldn't come as a sudden surprise. second, did you find anything under there? say...candy wrapper, watermelon seed?
bluesclues72 0
Last time I checked, watermelons were healthy. Unless you are implying that the OP is black, and that all black people are fat because in that case you are an idiot.
theanonimouse 0
WHOOAAAA, the assumptions! Also, you just came off really racist, BTW. (this is @bluesclues)
blackirish44 0
Solution: Use suspenders.
mjolene 0
hahahahahahaha , GROSS.
tsoccerdude 0
lyao litterally
nelleyyy 0
Way too much cushion for the pushin'
purplemnm 9
do not want!!!
mahamii_93 0
ewww wtf
efyurlifeLol 0