Today, after having my bath, I realised that I've gotten so fat that I have to lift up my butt cheeks in order to dry underneath them. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I'm officially fat enough I have to lift my belly out of the way to get to my zipper when I need to pee in public toilets. I hate myself. FML
Today, after taking a shower, I decided to weigh myself. Curious, I peered down. I couldn't see the scale. I am fat. FML
Today, I was in the shower when I realised that maybe I'm getting a little too fat. I was scrubbing the old belly when a dollar flew out onto the floor. I'm 23. FML
Today, I realized how fat I really am. While going to the bathroom I leaned to the side to wipe my butt and heard a crack. Not knowing what it was, I continued to wipe. After I finished, I got up to see that I'd cracked the toilet seat in half. FML
Today, I'd had enough of the excrement sticking in my butt hair. Now that I'm shaved, I feel my buttocks rubbing together. With every step. FML
Today, I felt an itch on my butt so I went to the bathroom to scratch it. It was actually a dried layer of skin that broke from years of wear and tear, and now every time I shit I feel immense pain for the next hour. FML
Today, I noticed I have to lift up my fat to see my penis. FML
Today, I pulled a muscle in my arm while wiping my butt. FML
Today, while getting ready for work, I realized that all my pants were getting a bit tight. When I got home from work, I went in to the bathroom and stood on the scale, which confirmed that I have gained a few pounds. I then realized that I was eating while standing on the scale. FML
Today, I found out that as I get closer to 40, I often need to wipe my arse when I fart. FML
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Top comments
Tikwichka 5
Ugh, now there's an image I don't want in my head!
gozar_fml 1
Just make sure you're not the one in walmart with short shorts.
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Comments (269)
DangerousBabee 0
Too much information much?
imaniblub 0
excuse me while I throw up for a moment
skyeyez9 25
Do something about it! Find an activity you enjoy. I personally hate going to the gym, but have been in taekwondo and gymnastics (tumbling and trampoline) since I was 13 (I am 31). Its great exercise, I have fun doing, and I'm in better shape than most people my age and younger. Get a bicycle, find walking/jogging partners, joing a yoga class, martial arts class, just do something!
amazinglyava 0
k, we didn't need to knoww. thanks for that horrible image now burned into my head. besides, instead of writing that on fml maybe you should be excersising?? just my opinion..
swantonboy96 0
see god gave us fingers, use them wisely, and dont do any of the bullshit these guys are telling you like: trampoline, yoga, etc.* *sarcasm JK but yes vomit if thats your only option
skyeyez9 25
If you turn bulimic, your teeth will look as pretty as a meth addict's. The stomach acids will eat away at your tooth enamel.
MidgetMonster 0
yeah stop picking on zuuzuu, shes beautiful, and you know strippers aren't that smart anyway. and maybe it's not op's fault, many medications cause weight gain, or medical problems. I guess u just don't realize it until you are lifting your ass cheeks apart.
Jayodi 0
Well, at least -I- won't have to lift up my ass cheeks for it to bite me.
Bewertow 0
You must be from the South. Everyone there is obese.
wjwiv 0
the north isnt much better.
slothlover66 0
Would you guys be so harsh if it was cigarettes, drugs or alcohol the OP was having issues with?? Losing weight is hard and unlike alcoholics or drug addicts you cannot just cut food out completely. It's a lot harder for some people than others as well.
Darkhumor 0
uh, yes, if it involved smoking or drinking or drugs you can bet there'll be even more haters, especially smoking, with drinking you can bet there'll be some sob story about "And you deserved it for drinking cos some drunk driver plowed into my gramps and here's my misdirected anger" etc. Haters here are just sick of hearing people complain about situations they've gotten themselves into. And trying to make excuses for them doesn't really address the original problem. And to all those people saying "Could have been caused by a medical condition/medication" That's no excuse - if anything, it's a reason to eat extra-healthy and exercise extra. Say, if the reason's diabetes, the OP will need to be super-careful about what she eats, not just take it as an excuse and try to ignore it. meh, it's an uphill battle, but it's up to the OP whether or not she wants to lose weight, no matter what fml says.