Today, after having my bath, I realised that I've gotten so fat that I have to lift up my butt cheeks in order to dry underneath them. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I'm officially fat enough I have to lift my belly out of the way to get to my zipper when I need to pee in public toilets. I hate myself. FML
Today, after taking a shower, I decided to weigh myself. Curious, I peered down. I couldn't see the scale. I am fat. FML
Today, I was in the shower when I realised that maybe I'm getting a little too fat. I was scrubbing the old belly when a dollar flew out onto the floor. I'm 23. FML
Today, I realized how fat I really am. While going to the bathroom I leaned to the side to wipe my butt and heard a crack. Not knowing what it was, I continued to wipe. After I finished, I got up to see that I'd cracked the toilet seat in half. FML
Today, I'd had enough of the excrement sticking in my butt hair. Now that I'm shaved, I feel my buttocks rubbing together. With every step. FML
Today, I felt an itch on my butt so I went to the bathroom to scratch it. It was actually a dried layer of skin that broke from years of wear and tear, and now every time I shit I feel immense pain for the next hour. FML
Today, I noticed I have to lift up my fat to see my penis. FML
Today, I pulled a muscle in my arm while wiping my butt. FML
Today, while getting ready for work, I realized that all my pants were getting a bit tight. When I got home from work, I went in to the bathroom and stood on the scale, which confirmed that I have gained a few pounds. I then realized that I was eating while standing on the scale. FML
Today, I found out that as I get closer to 40, I often need to wipe my arse when I fart. FML
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Top comments
Tikwichka 5
Ugh, now there's an image I don't want in my head!
gozar_fml 1
Just make sure you're not the one in walmart with short shorts.
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Comments (269)
Ajjas013 6
I should of made a list of thirteen O_O
Hexefrau 5
Ugh. I detest it when people say things like "should of". It is "should have". "I should have made a list of 13." I also loathe "all the sudden", "heighth", and "conversate".
xHabsfanx 0
Well um that's a little disturbing. Use that as your motivation to lose that extra weight. I really did not need that mental image.
thewoodridgekid 0
are you a girl wit that big ass booty
lostfaithinpppl 19
Well, then do something about it fatty. Instead of posting an fml get up and move.
iloveloosy12 0
gross!
samantha_durano 6
thann, take a shower.
buttshapedfruit 0
hit the treadmill if it's such a big problem
FUDGELOVESME 0
uuuuhhhhh…
efyurlifeLol 0
yoo ajas or whom ever yuh are stole my burn learn make up ur own shit ... ffail
skudgobang 1
but being a big fat sow isn't your fault, right?