Today, after having my bath, I realised that I've gotten so fat that I have to lift up my butt cheeks in order to dry underneath them. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I'm officially fat enough I have to lift my belly out of the way to get to my zipper when I need to pee in public toilets. I hate myself. FML
Today, after taking a shower, I decided to weigh myself. Curious, I peered down. I couldn't see the scale. I am fat. FML
Today, I was in the shower when I realised that maybe I'm getting a little too fat. I was scrubbing the old belly when a dollar flew out onto the floor. I'm 23. FML
Today, I realized how fat I really am. While going to the bathroom I leaned to the side to wipe my butt and heard a crack. Not knowing what it was, I continued to wipe. After I finished, I got up to see that I'd cracked the toilet seat in half. FML
Today, I'd had enough of the excrement sticking in my butt hair. Now that I'm shaved, I feel my buttocks rubbing together. With every step. FML
Today, I felt an itch on my butt so I went to the bathroom to scratch it. It was actually a dried layer of skin that broke from years of wear and tear, and now every time I shit I feel immense pain for the next hour. FML
Today, I noticed I have to lift up my fat to see my penis. FML
Today, I pulled a muscle in my arm while wiping my butt. FML
Today, while getting ready for work, I realized that all my pants were getting a bit tight. When I got home from work, I went in to the bathroom and stood on the scale, which confirmed that I have gained a few pounds. I then realized that I was eating while standing on the scale. FML
Today, I found out that as I get closer to 40, I often need to wipe my arse when I fart. FML
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Top comments
Tikwichka 5
Ugh, now there's an image I don't want in my head!
gozar_fml 1
Just make sure you're not the one in walmart with short shorts.
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Comments (269)
dynky 3
Don't listen to all the hate and don't feel ashamed of being overweight. If you want to lose some, talk to a doctor/nutritionist/trainer about a sensible diet and exercise plan, and then be patient! Losing weight requires making long-term changes to your habits and is not going to happen overnight, but can be done.
CallMeHush 1
Mmmmm, mmmm good, frummunda cheese.
sweeteen16 0
yuk.
mj2123 0
You know, things are more likely to go south because of age, rather than fat.
nuke_o 0
zuuzuu your spelling sucks and I really hate people like you. to the people being mean: shut the **** up. I don't think you would appreciate people talking crap about you if you yourself was in a situation like this. haven't you ever heard the quote about walking in someone elses shoes? like Everlast sings: "god forbid you ever had to walk a mile in their shoes.. then you'd really know what it's like to sing the blues."
jsquared3509 0
oh please. everyone shut up about zuuzuu. who cares if she isn't spelling everything PERFECTLY right. we can all obviously tell what she is trying to say.
sourgirl101 29
Looks like someone wants to f..k an Aussie!
zippit09 0
Before you mock someone, walk a mile in their shoes. That way when you mock them, you're a mile off and they have no shoes!
CallMeHush 1
LOL @ zippit! @the whiners(mean people suck) yes we do but we are ******* happy. Deal!
iEjaculateCandy 0
Except the ony difference is that she had to eat a fuckload of bad foods to get in "those shoes" If fatasses can't handled being called fatasses then maybe they should stop being fatasses. I'm just motivating them, I should be given an award, I'm a humanitarian, you fatass.
I_am_stupid_also 6
The OP is too fat to wear shoes. It's slippers now, or stay in bed all day.
disney_blonde 16
Maybe the OP should be the one walking a mile, and then some.
girlygirl666 0
113-LOL
nadyy14 8
GROSS!
Sekococo 0
any one with the name beginning perd and have a witty comment is perdix bastard child -.- yay am a aunty.
lauuuure 0
wow that's sad
flockey21 0
um...TMI!!! thats just gross!!! no need to share that!
taycandy96 2
well then u need to loose weight