VahnSeiro
United States 🌶️ Spicy
Today, my girlfriend of two years called me, drunk, telling me how much anal sex hurts with some other guy. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Same thing different taste
Anonymous
🌶️ Spicy
What kind of sex are you having?
Today, after being apart for a few weeks, my girlfriend made love to me so hard I got bruises on my penis and it hurts to pee out of it. FML
Anonymous
United States
Today, my girlfriend was rushed to the hospital with anal tearing. We've never tried anal before, but it turns out she and my "best friend" sure have. FML
Anonymous
United States 🌶️ Spicy
Today, the girl that I have been trying to get with for over a year told me she was drunk and just gave her first blowjob to some guy. FML
Anonymous
United States
Today, I was woken up by my drunk girlfriend calling me and saying how much she loves me. She then stopped to tell the guy she was in bed with to be quiet because I might hear him. FML
Anonymous
France 🌶️ Spicy
Busted
Today, my girlfriend left a message on my phone. It was just the sounds of her having sex with somebody. FML
Anonymous
🌶️ Spicy
Nope
Today, I was going to propose to my girlfriend of two years. I got a call from my best friend telling me he had slept with her before we went out drinking the night before. FML
drunkdial
France
Today, I realized that the only time my girlfriend ever calls me is when she's drunk. FML
Anonymous
United States 🌶️ Spicy
I did a sex
Today, my girlfriend told me that last night after I got drunk, I passed out mid-pump while we were knocking boots. FML
FuckThis
Cardiff, United Kingdom 🌶️ Spicy
Today, I thought the girl I was seeing was going to tell me that she loved me. Instead, she told me how she sucked some other guy's dick. FML
Anonymous
United States 🌶️ Spicy
Today, my boyfriend told me he loved me for the very first time in three years. Apparently, all it took was anal. FML
Top comments
Astraea 0
definitely an fml, i can imagine how you feel right now. **** that bitch with a huge dry stick in the butt then dump her!!
mponce12 0
what a dirty little bitch
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Comments (128)
zuuzuu_fml 0
how's that ur fml?? I beleive her life fuked!!
RustyGuns 0
You should phone her tonight and tell her the same.
Enoch134 0
lol only in Texas
JCimaglia 0
You're an idiot, kill yourself....
ImaginaryFoe 1
28, you might be right but I believe - I hope - zuuzuu is joking. I have no excuse for the spelling and typing issues. OP, was it a voicemail because there's only one thing to do with that... BTW, was she actually doing the deed when she called? That takes some concentration. At least she was thinking of you!
MetroidSlayer01 8
@13, your retarded
Bewitched_fml 0
^ yes I agree ^
reyemrein 0
idk 13 has a point... more accuratly, only in the states between Texas and South Carolina
theian01 3
LOL @RustyGuns Great idea! Too bad she'd start a rumor that your gay... Oh well, rumors can be delt with.
htownlove 0
#13 you are retarded if you think that kind of stuff happens only in Texas Texas rocks! Houston, Texas a.k.a H-town is the best city ever!!!
vexxcis 0
I believe you mean ******? It is not that hard to use promer grammer.
vexxcis 0
I believe I may have to take spell check off my iPod it's proper not promer. Stupid iPod.
silentfog 0
agreed with 50
iWingers 0
@57 Don't preach to people about spelling and grammatical errors. Sure, you explained the 'promer' incident, but it's grammar, not grammer. There's nothing worse than misspelling grammar when trying to make a point about grammatical punctuation.
seeimdee 0
zomg the zuuzuu bomb is ******* back! get over the fact she can't spell perfectly.
seeimdee 0
dear 64: YOU ARE SUCH A NERD! like really if you lived in my town and said that shit, you wouldn't remember how to spell the word "spell". hahaha
goldenone 2
because he got cheated on zuzuu because he got cheated on..
sugarbabyxoxo 2
@ seeimdee, yes! same with me, I friggin hate grammar nazi's, I mean really get a ******* life! lol
vikhelios 6
none care bout ur h-town
dude247 0
for the like fifth time @ does not mean number get it right stupid people
ezrl_ritvoi 0
they are not trying to make @ equal #. they are saying 'directed at' or 'to' through symbols. to say # username would make no sense. and everyone knows that a number is a number. there's no need to restate that with the # symbol. do a better job Nazi.
Onthecountof3 0
grammer Nazis!!! run hide the children *cowers in fear*
TheBreaKer_fml 0
damn number 1 youre cute
rogerdodger777 0
no. say it hurts more with a dog
Mahyar 2
LOL ******* hilarious!!!
chrissirhc987 0
haha #5 win
neonblue120 6
y be a douce have you ever watched fixed news the south does not have a monopoly on idjeuts
Shadow14l 0
@sugarbabyxoxo I personally prefer when someone doesn't take an extra second to not look retarded on the internet. It sperates your dumb as rocks ass from mine.
paramorefan125 0
ahaha agreed.
BoarderBoy15 0
hey zuzu I wanna **** u
In_your_face 0
Hitler fun fact: Hitler only had one ******** why do you think he was so angry
smallsmerry 0
sexy **** can I suck on them one night while u sit on my hard ****
angrydinosaur 4
Or "proper" spelling.
kirstyannemiller 4
You cannot "fuking" spell.
grebulon123 0
man, that sucks.
iSwag 0
FTB
Rota 0
**** the butthole?
loski87 4
I think it's **** the bitch...
HoesInaBox 0
#35's rendition sounds much better. What what in the butt?!
zZPedobearZz 0
that music video is naaaaasty
isallwaysme 27
i thought it was "for the boys"
mponce12 0
what a dirty little bitch
Astraea 0
definitely an fml, i can imagine how you feel right now. **** that bitch with a huge dry stick in the butt then dump her!!
TRJADN 0
This ^
Giorgio272 2
Clearly she is a *****. Harden up and show her how a real man gives anal!
EV34 6
hahaha!
Starfire22 5
lmao!
theian01 3
Ew... Sloppy seconds!
Rebap 4
8th :O
Rebap 4
ok 9th now 10th :o
iEmily 0
Fail. @OP, dump her via text message.
crazyeduardo16 0
what a sl*t.. , leave the beeeep, it's not worth it. lol
purple91 8
Ew. Seems you are good at picking dirty slags.
Dravien 0
Not a fml now you know to leave that ho