Today, after having my bath, I realised that I've gotten so fat that I have to lift up my butt cheeks in order to dry underneath them. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I'm officially fat enough I have to lift my belly out of the way to get to my zipper when I need to pee in public toilets. I hate myself. FML
Today, after taking a shower, I decided to weigh myself. Curious, I peered down. I couldn't see the scale. I am fat. FML
Today, I was in the shower when I realised that maybe I'm getting a little too fat. I was scrubbing the old belly when a dollar flew out onto the floor. I'm 23. FML
Today, I realized how fat I really am. While going to the bathroom I leaned to the side to wipe my butt and heard a crack. Not knowing what it was, I continued to wipe. After I finished, I got up to see that I'd cracked the toilet seat in half. FML
Today, I'd had enough of the excrement sticking in my butt hair. Now that I'm shaved, I feel my buttocks rubbing together. With every step. FML
Today, I felt an itch on my butt so I went to the bathroom to scratch it. It was actually a dried layer of skin that broke from years of wear and tear, and now every time I shit I feel immense pain for the next hour. FML
Today, I noticed I have to lift up my fat to see my penis. FML
Today, I pulled a muscle in my arm while wiping my butt. FML
Today, while getting ready for work, I realized that all my pants were getting a bit tight. When I got home from work, I went in to the bathroom and stood on the scale, which confirmed that I have gained a few pounds. I then realized that I was eating while standing on the scale. FML
Today, I found out that as I get closer to 40, I often need to wipe my arse when I fart. FML
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Top comments
Tikwichka 5
Ugh, now there's an image I don't want in my head!
gozar_fml 1
Just make sure you're not the one in walmart with short shorts.
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Comments (269)
iSwag 0
off subject, since everyone is going to say the same thing...what does FTW mean?
null_fml 11
Fat Thing Walkin'
andruha1123 5
for the win
iSwag 0
lmao!! I'm glad I'm by myself because I can't stop laughing lol nice 16...nice
zuuzuu_fml 0
**** the world
ringmybell_fml 0
feed the walrus yea, ftw, i know. >.>
ccontente 0
fhuck the what? like what the ****..
iAlwaysYDI 0
it means "For The Win" and it also means "**** The World". and it depends on how you use it.
sourgirl101 29
#16 Let me king you! Hands down the funniest thing I ever read on FML. thanks!!!
dragonite6935 0
free the wildabeast
girlygirl666 0
LOL @ 16!!! That's one of the best lines I've ever heard on here!! FTW, hahahah
laurennnnnlovesy 6
For The Win.
bellalady44 5
What the ****. How did u not know that?
crazyeduardo16 0
lmao. # 16 WIN. ;p
ratmule 0
yeah, I sort of hope this is a warning sign. a big, red klaxon that says lose some weight.
mzhonesty 0
There should have been a warning sign a LONG time ago. :
erjaguam 0
lose weight. tone your ass. eat in moderation.
Starfire22 5
yeaaa, agreed! If you don't like it, go to the gym, eat smaller portions and cut out candy and soda. You would be surprised how much weight you lose by cutting out soda from your diet! Also, the reebok easytone sneakers work pretty well on toning your butt and thighs! I love them! I've definatley seen a diference since I've gotten them :D
Sun_Kissed18 25
Completely agree! My boyfriend just stopped eating at much and started only drinking water and he lost 30 lbs in a couple months. Its very possible and easier than you think, you just have to commit. And I'm sorry but those shoes may work, but they are the more stupid things I have ever seen. They look ridiculous, but hey, as long as they work, right?
disney_blonde 16
Who wants to pay $100 for sneakers you can only walk in? They don't recommend jogging or running or any other type of exercise b/c it's very easy to injure yourself with the balance ball soles.
iLoveMySgt 0
"fat thing walkin".. haha!!
jimboy 0
lmfao I no the fealing
RedSnappah 0
How about instead of complaining about it, you go for a run? Cuz sitting in front of a computer obvioulsy won't help
nickjackgreene 2
bloody lovely
lo54 0
how much do you weigh?
w00kye 0
i love fat chicks.
null_fml 11
Because they make the rockin' world go 'round?
LHoov 0
fat bottomed girls!!
licanthroppe 0
YDI for being a fat lazyfuck and let yourself get to be like that. totally agree with #1