Today, while on my graveyard shift at an inner-city backpackers lodge, a drunk pissed in a dorm at 4am. I had to clean up after him, wash all the luggage that got dowsed, clean up 2 separate piles of puke, and help 3 drunken Brits back to their room while they abused me. I have a science degree. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I arrived in my dorm at 3 am to find my roommate passed out and a nauseating stench. While I was gone, he got drunk and puked all over the walls, carpet, and both beds. His inebriated attempt to clean up the mess consisted of smearing his vomit everywhere with my shower robe. FML
Today, at my hotel job, I had to help a drunk naked guy back into his room. Earlier today, a fat old guy wearing only briefs came down to the lobby drunk as hell. I used to like my job. FML
Today, I woke up after passing out at a very small house party. I'd set a three drink limit, but apparently nobody listened, because there were beer cans everywhere, half my stuff was on the floor, and someone had shat in my bathtub. I had to clean all of it up alone. FML
Today, in a 2-hour period at work, I had to talk to the cops, clean up shit and clean up vomit, yet none of these events were related. The worst part is, I work as a lifeguard and none of this is in the job description. FML
Today, while at work, I saw a kid empty his bladder all over the floor. His mother walked over, looked at me, said, "Yep… that just happened," and dragged him away. I'm a 30-year-old man, four credits shy of a Master's, stuck cleaning up piss at a dead-end job. FML
Today, I woke up at a guy's house drunk and soaked in my own pee. I had passed out with all my clothes on. Since I was late for work and didn't have a change of clothes, all I could do was throw my jeans in the dryer. I had to sit all day at work in crusty pee pants. FML
Today, I decided to do a good bit of spring cleaning. When my apartment was finally spotless I went to lie down. I woke up later to find my drunk flatmate passed out in a puddle of her own puke on the living room's carpet. FML
Today, I started working my crappy, minimum-wage retail job at a local electronics store. An hour into my shift, my boss sent me to scrub out a discount bin, after some drunk cunt in his teens staggered into the place yelling, and puked his guts into it. What a life. FML
Today, there were reports of a drunk and disorderly male, and I arrived at the scene only to discover a drunk guy having explosive diarrhoea in a photo booth. He turned to me and shouted "God save the Queen!" It's then that I remembered it was my job to do something about it. FML
Today, after my work's Christmas party, everyone got so drunk that I had to help one of my only sober co-workers take everyone home and clean up vomit. FML
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Top comments
jasonsaied 1
where the hell do you guys see unconscious poms?
repyourcliche 0
oh god, i read "unconscious poms" as "unicorn ****"...
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Comments (118)
repyourcliche 0
oh god, i read "unconscious poms" as "unicorn ****"...
zippit09 0
Me too, just spent a good 20 minutes playing at http://games.adultwim.com/robot-unicorn-attack-twitchy-online-game.html
Ajjas013 6
There should be a group on Facebook. I watched Unicorn **** and didn't get my ass kicked!
Averizzle 0
And it should be continued as "But I did get my ass kicked for watching pokemob ****."
Averizzle 0
pokemon* Damn auto correct
jasonsaied 1
where the hell do you guys see unconscious poms?
B0ned 0
YDI for having a science degree.
Aah_Zombies 0
This ^ Why is this FML any worse because you have a science degree? Maybe you can get a boring job in a lab instead of a boring job cleaning up drunkards' puke.
maddieguinn 0
what?????
maddieguinn 0
I agree with 107?wtf
maddieguinn 0
i agree with 107?
iDollFace 0
have you ever considered being a janitor.
st0815 9
He has a degree and his native language is English. OP: get a job as an English teacher in Asia. Your living standard will probably be higher (income might be lower but expenses, too) you get to travel and have some fun.
GiganTronic 0
Yeah! It's such a comforting sound! vvvvWOOM! vvvvvWOOM! There go two right now!
Whytetrash 21
Well, now you know that a degree doesn't over-qualify you to have a working class job.
Astraea 0
Education means nothing, really. It's the same here in Turkey, what you need is just good luck and some, oh more than some money and good connections. Sorry for you.
abes22 0
science degrees are worthless here in Australia - you need more than that to land a respectable job
whitekiss 0
how did unconscious people verbally abuse you?
lezzyluver 0
hahaha true that
The_Disturbed 5
@Tazn1991, the OP was modded for clarity. Where it says "drunken Brits", I believe it originally read "3 unconscious poms", with "unconscious" spelt incorrectly.
GiganTronic 0
Yay spelling!
8trickster8 0
Huzzah!
Ajjas013 6
Fine, dissect them or some shit Mr. Science.
mattf013 0
that's not a very good comeback
matrasveer 1
sucks that you had to do that. I fish which I named Alfred.
craigkid 2
WTF last part came from where
thecool444 0
Do something with that degree rather then whining on FML
mcfaily 0
Yup,YDI for being unemployable.
nadyy14 8
omg, that's sad:$
Olympian94 0
I'm surprised the grammar Nazi hasn't pointed out this guy's spelling yet...
Ajjas013 6
I wanna be a firetruck!