Today, after having my bath, I realised that I've gotten so fat that I have to lift up my butt cheeks in order to dry underneath them. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I'm officially fat enough I have to lift my belly out of the way to get to my zipper when I need to pee in public toilets. I hate myself. FML
Today, after taking a shower, I decided to weigh myself. Curious, I peered down. I couldn't see the scale. I am fat. FML
Today, I was in the shower when I realised that maybe I'm getting a little too fat. I was scrubbing the old belly when a dollar flew out onto the floor. I'm 23. FML
Today, I realized how fat I really am. While going to the bathroom I leaned to the side to wipe my butt and heard a crack. Not knowing what it was, I continued to wipe. After I finished, I got up to see that I'd cracked the toilet seat in half. FML
Today, I'd had enough of the excrement sticking in my butt hair. Now that I'm shaved, I feel my buttocks rubbing together. With every step. FML
Today, I felt an itch on my butt so I went to the bathroom to scratch it. It was actually a dried layer of skin that broke from years of wear and tear, and now every time I shit I feel immense pain for the next hour. FML
Today, I noticed I have to lift up my fat to see my penis. FML
Today, I pulled a muscle in my arm while wiping my butt. FML
Today, while getting ready for work, I realized that all my pants were getting a bit tight. When I got home from work, I went in to the bathroom and stood on the scale, which confirmed that I have gained a few pounds. I then realized that I was eating while standing on the scale. FML
Today, I found out that as I get closer to 40, I often need to wipe my arse when I fart. FML
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Top comments
Tikwichka 5
Ugh, now there's an image I don't want in my head!
gozar_fml 1
Just make sure you're not the one in walmart with short shorts.
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Comments (269)
Phorenzix 0
okay, that's enough fatass jokes for this week. ok that does it! screw you guys i'm going home.
onnielief 4
So go on a diet, seems easily fixed.
Tamara2011 0
Well look i ahte when some stupid people on here say fatass go on a diet etc... well maybe the op has a thyroid problem and it stops them from losing weight learn the facts dumb asses oh op a diet and some exercise will be efficent but next time leave out the details?
ace03 0
nasty
kemar7856 0
ewww that's gross
alemkau 0
thanks for putting that image in everyones minds.
angrynegro7 16
As a black man, I never thought these words would ever come out of my mouth, but OP, that is just TOO MUCH ass for one person! On the plus side, at least you now realize that you have a problem, and can now start taking steps to fix it. Good luck. :)
limegreenpoopie 31
If I ever got that fat, my parents would put locks on the refridgerator and put me on a vegan diet.
diemileyjk 0
DIET FATASS
sweetbeachqt826 0
what i wanna know is if its a chick who hasnt cleaned the bottom of her but in that long, or a guy.... because that changes things a little....
wjwiv 0
cancer isnt funny, you cant control it, but you can control your weight, this person is lazy.